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Right after Levi said he wanted a divorce, I could only remember our relationship in a positive light. After time to reflect, I saw him for who he was—a man desperate to lock me down to get what he wanted. Since I unloaded my baggage on Ben, I hadn’t felt ashamed about the situation. I could see now that Levi was in the wrong.
“You won’t know unless you see him again,” Hailey said reasonably.
“I think my dad always held out hope we’d get back together.”
It was so much easier to see the issues in other people’s relationships. It was harder when it was your life.
“Is everything okay with you and Ben?” Sophie asked me.
I held my hands out to reference the store renovation. “I didn’t tell him about this.”
“I could see why he’d be upset,” she said.
“The thing was, I was going to tell him. But then he said something about me not understanding what he was going through because I didn’t have kids. We didn’t talk for almost a week. I wasn’t sure we were even still together.”
“Did you reach out to him?” Zoe asked.
“No.” It was hard to admit when I was wrong in a relationship. The urge to protect myself was so strong. I held everything inside. Opening up and apologizing were new levels of intimacy I wasn’t ready for before.
“It seems to me you’re both a little bit at fault,” Zoe said.
“You think I should talk to him? Apologize again?” I asked the women.
“It can’t hurt,” Zoe said.
“Especially if he means something to you,” Sophie added.
I thought about his unexpected support the night I told him about Levi and how it made me feel. My chest filled with hope. “I love him.”
Hailey placed a hand over mine. “Then you have to try.”
I drew myself up to my full height. “This time, I’m not going to sit around and let someone else tell me how my life will go. I’m going after what I want.”
“That’s right,” Sophie said with a smile.
I pointed a finger at her. “But promise me you’ll see Mark when he gets home. You can say it’s to make sure he’s okay, but explore whether he’s the one who got away. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder.”
Sophie sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
I smiled. “You sound like Ben’s daughter, Cammie, when she finally agrees to do something she doesn’t want to do.”
“You love her, too.” It wasn’t a question. Sophie’s expression was one of sympathy and understanding.
I sobered. “I do.”
“Is Ben different from your ex?” Zoe asked.
“In every way. I think the biggest difference is that Ben’s in this with me. He got upset when I omitted my plans for the store. He was upset when his daughter complained about him not being home with her enough. He’s real. He’s not in my life to use me or to bide his time until he gets what he wants.” Remembering how he’d shown me the house he wanted to buy, maybe he’d intended for me to be his future. He was just afraid to push me too hard. And who could blame him? I didn’t have the best track record.
“Your ex used you?” Zoe asked.
I flushed, knowing it was time to correct that error. These women had become my friends, and it was time to rely on them for support. They deserved the truth, too. “I forget I haven’t told everyone. I thought our relationship—our marriage—was real, but as soon as he got his green card, he said he wanted a divorce.”
Zoe’s mouth dropped open. “You were blindsided. I can’t believe he did that to you.”
“It took me a while to wrap my mind around it. But now, I see our relationship didn’t even compare to what I have with Ben.”
“Group hug,” Remi said, her arms going wide. We all huddled in one big circle, our arms around each other. We started out as business owners looking for advice but had become so much more.
