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When Cammie’s mother first died, she’d wake up in the middle of the night, petrified that she’d lost me, too. It had taken a while to get her to understand that I wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t something I could promise, but the therapist said it was okay to reassure her.
I couldn’t let her down. For the first time since she was born, there was someone else I didn’t want to let down—Brooke. She needed me, too, even if she’d probably never admit it.
I’d get her to open up to me, to trust me. I didn’t have a choice. Because I’d already let her in. I’d opened myself up to the possibility of more with her.
The one thing I couldn’t control was her feelings. If she was wrapped up in the past or reluctant because of an ex, I couldn’t fix that for her. All I could do was be there. I just hoped that was enough.
ChapterTwenty-One
BROOKE
The warmth I’d felt against my back all night was gone. I reached out to find the sheets cool, the pillow beside mine empty. I opened my eyes to find an indention. I hadn’t imagined Ben sleeping with me last night.
I snuggled deeper in the blankets. The rain beat down on the roof in a comforting rhythm. The light coming through my windows was dim. I loved staying in bed when it was raining.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I thought I’d left it downstairs in my purse last night. I wondered how it had gotten there.
I checked the clock before putting in the security code on my phone. It was still early.
Ben: Sorry, I had to leave. I needed to be here when Cammie woke.
It was sweet that he’d sent a message and not just left without a word. Although, our arrangement didn’t call for overnights or reaching out the morning after.
Brooke: No worries.
Ben: I wish I could wake up with you.
Me, too. A pang in my heart told me I’d taken on more than I’d bargained for. I resisted the urge to text him back. It wasn’t fair to him to lead him somewhere we could never go.
The next buzz was a picture of breakfast. A stack of pancakes. My stomach grumbled.
I loved that he’d included me in his morning routine. He loved that time with his daughter, and he’d taken a few seconds to talk to me. It told me there might be a space for me with him. Which was dangerous. It was easier to think that I didn’t belong, that I couldn’t be part of his family, than to think there was a possibility.
Brooke: Tease.
Ben: It’s a promise.
My heart fluttered in my chest. A promise for what? Something beyond friends with benefits, or was he just talking about food?
Those three words settled over my heart, imbedding in my chest. Deep down, I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to fall into promises of forever, of love and togetherness. But I couldn’t trust it. Even if Ben seemed like a better man than Levi.
I wouldn’t survive making the wrong choice again. Especially since I already felt something that transcended the feelings I’d had at the beginning of my relationship with Levi.
Ben flitted around the edges of my consciousness. He wasn’t calling all the time or insisting on spending every spare moment together. But then, he had a business to run and a daughter to raise. We weren’t in our early twenties. We had responsibilities.
Young love was naïve. Easy to trust. Easier To fall. I wasn’t that young girl anymore. I had baggage and experience. I knew what could happen.
Reluctantly, I slipped out of bed, showered, and grabbed something for breakfast.
Dread filled me as I walked in the steady rain to work, and water soaked my shoes and the bottom of my pants. I was still keeping a secret from Ben—the makeover of my business. I kept it from everyone except the construction crew and Hailey.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like that. There weren’t supposed to be any feelings at all. Why couldn’t I have kept things purely physical with Ben?
Mid-morning, I received a delivery of coffee beans. The note on the brown bag read:My favorite. I hope you enjoy them, too.
I ground the beans, my stomach feeling fluttery. I was falling deeper into his orbit.
As I sipped the rich brew at my desk, I snapped a picture of me drinking it, hitting send on the image withthank youas the caption before I could second-guess myself.
