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“Coach…” he mumbles. “Leaf Gunner…It’s hard to forget a name like that.I’venever forgotten, but for different reasons entirely.”
I stare at my brother, a cinder block dropping in my stomach. “Hayden…” He doesn’t answer. “Hayden, what happened with Gunner?”
“She never attended a practice after you came to live with us. Only made it to half my games. Even when I begged for her to come or at least send a driver to pick me up. She said that you needed her more, and I should be understanding. And if Coach Gunner was so kind as to offer his services, why send a driver? Plus, all the trouble I was getting into… She thought spending time with him helped me stay on the right path.” His hooded lids open slightly, his eyes glazed over. “You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
“Tell me what the fuck happened.”
He doesn’t answer. Just lies there, half asleep in a two-thousand-dollar suit that smells like vinegar.
Christ.I stand, not knowing what to do with my body and my mind. I pull my hands into fists, then release them, staring at the only brother—aside from Preston—I’ve ever had. I walk to the coffee table and pick it up, setting it back in front of the couch.
I pick up Hayden’s water bottle and protein bar and set them in front of him. I walk into the kitchen to get the broom and dustpan again, to sweep up the broken glassagain. When I’m done, I sit on the coffee table in front of Hayden.
“Hay…” I nudge his shoulder. He blinks his eyes open slightly. “Hayden, sit up for a minute.”
“Fuck off,” he murmurs.
I laugh and nudge him again. “I’ll leave you alone in a minute. Just sit up, I want to talk to you.”
His eyes shutter open. He pushes himself up with a grunt, staring at me like I’m a noisy kid on a plane. I put my elbows on my knees and lean in.
“Hayden, I’m sorry. It never occurred to me you were going through things as well. Which, obviously you were. I shouldn’t have made assumptions about your life or how easy it was. I’m here for you if you want to talk about it—”
“I don’t.”
“Nevertheless, I am here for you and I’m sorry.”
His eyes search my face and the realization that he and I have never had a conversation like this in our entire lives together is palpable. Even when we’ve gotten along or laughed together, we’ve never really opened up. We always remained guarded and competitive.
“I love you, Hayden.” The words left my lips before my brain could signal to the rest of my body that it was happening. But it felt good to say it.
Winter once told me to“Kill him with love and forget the rest.”So I did. Iam.
“You’re my brother, Hay, and I love you.”
Hayden’s shoulders shake with a silent laugh. He stares at me as if he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it doesn’t, his smile fades.
“I love you, brother,” I say again, hoping it’s sinking in.
“Fine. Can I pass out now or do you have any other emotions you want to get off your chiseled chest?”
I laugh, looking down at my bare torso. “Tell me you love me back,” I say with a lighthearted smile.
“No. Go put a fucking shirt on first.”
I laugh, then reach out and grab his arm, pulling him in for a hug.
“Jesus,” he hisses, making my laugh deepen. But his arms loosely wrap around me, returning the hug.
“I don’t know what happened, Hay, but one day you’re going to want to talk about it. When that day comes, I’m here. Until the day I die, I’m here.” I pat his back, then pull away, letting him slump over to lie back in his spot. I stand and walk to a nearby closet, pull out a blanket, then lay it over him.
“Get some sleep. I’m leaving for New York tomorrow, but we should have breakfast before I go.”
With one arm in the air, he waves me off. I smile, flip the light off, and turn to leave.
“I love you too, brother,” he says into the darkness, his raspy voice shaken, yet half asleep.
My smile deepens as I head down the hall to my room. One relationship on the mend, one more to go.
