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I stop in front of him and reach into my bag to fish for my keys. “What are you doing here, Aleck?”
“I want to talk to you…” He steps forward to take my coffee when the journey to find my keys makes me grind my teeth. “I wanted to talk to you Saturday after the dinner party incident, but I had to go back to New York for business. So, I sent you those notes and sweets in the meantime. Did you like them?”
“You know I did. Though it doesn’t take a white knight to pay for someone else to deliver an apology.”
He nods slowly. “No, it doesn’t. I could come back every morning for the next week and say them to you in person…”
And that’s it, isn’t it? The temptation of Aleck Fox. The agony of once having him, knowing now I’ll never be able to trust him. His presence alone makes my pulse quicken. Simply standing next to him makes my skin tingle, my stomach flutter, and my head dizzy. To hear him say those things… To hear the resonance in his tone when he tells me he misses me so much it aches deep in his bones…
No, I don’t think I could survive that.
“Pass,” I say, finally finding my keys and ripping them out of my bag. “Have you ever heard of a phone call or a text? Does your phone evenwork?” I force my key into the lock and clumsily open my front door. I dump my bag on the floor by my coat rack, then turn and take my coffee from him.
Our fingers touch. An electric current zings from his fingers to mine, making my eyelids shutter, but I stuff it down where my unshed tears are.
“I didn’t want to text, this felt bigger than that. And I didn’t think you’d answer my call. Would you have answered my call?”
“No,” I say, blocking the doorway.
“Winter, please let me come in. There are some things that I want to say, and if you want me to leave afterward, so be it. But please give me a chance.”
My brows lift. “You think you deserve a chance?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “But you’re a better person than I am, so let me in anyway.”
I stare at him for a moment, searching his face for reasons I should let him in. Because really, I’m not just letting him into my apartment, I’m letting him into my life, my heart, and he knows it.
I take a step back and push the door open, giving him room to pass. Aleck smiles subtly, then steps into my apartment. Butterflies take over as I close the door behind him.
This isn’t the way I pictured his first time in my home. I pictured myself a little more put together, not wearing black leggings, an oversized slouchy knit-sweater, and a messy ball of hair that looks like a rat’s nest on top of my head. I pictured my apartment tidied up and smelling fresh, not messy because I’ve been lying around feeling miserable all day, smelling like tears and last night’s Chinese food. Which is actually still sitting on my coffee table.Shit.
He walks deeper into my living room and leans against the back of my couch. He removes his sweater, lays it over the cushions, then folds his arms over his chest.
So steadfast, so impressive, so absolutely gorgeous.
“First, I owe you an explanation for Rebecca—”
“You don’t owe me anything, Aleck.” Just the sound of her name on his tongue makes me queasy.
“Yes, I do. Her and I arenotromantic. We never have been, we never will be. The only reason she gave me her number at the resort is because she’s going through a divorce and just moved to LA. We talk aboutyoumostly. I had been realizing my feelings for you but trying to fight them. She called my bluff, then told me to pull my head out of my ass. Which I did, by the way.”
I snort a laugh. “Yeah, right before you stuffed it back in.”
He nods. “Fair enough. Winter, please know, there isn’t an ounce of me that wants her. She’s beenhelpingme.”
I take a quick step toward him, straightening my spine. “Helping you in a way that you refused to letmehelp when you never returned my calls or texts? You pushed me out of your life and welcomed her in. You can see how I’d be reluctant to give a shit about anything you have to say?”
“Yes, I can see that. The only reason I called her is because she’s a therapist. She’s been helping me work through some things in my life that have been holding me back. But Rebecca hasnothingto do with this, she’s irrelevant here. I pushed you away because I thought, in the long run, I’d make you miserable. Even if you make me so fucking happy I want to puke. I was trying not to be selfish. I thought if I hurt you by slipping out and not calling you back, you’d realize I’m a piece of shit—”
“Mission accomplished. Congratulations.”
Aleck’s shoulders sink. His lips part, close, then part again. “I can never take back my decision to end things with us—”
“End things?” I snap. “You didn’tend things, Aleck, youdisappeared. You didn’t even have enough courage to tell me it was over, you just… left.”
His brow dips and his arms tense in front of him. “I know. You’re right. I was a coward. But you should know, I didn’t leave you behind because I wanted to. I did what I thought was the best thing foryou.”
“Forme? Aleck, I have beenmiserable—”
