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“So have I!” Aleck pushes off the couch, standing tall now.
I walk into my kitchen, threading my fingers through my hair, needing to feel some distance between us. But Aleck follows, standing opposite me at the counter. If he took three steps, his breath would mix with mine.
“Winter, I don’t expect you to understand my reasoning for not waking you up before leaving or calling you back because it’s faulty at best. I know that. I’m fucked up, okay? I never claimed to have my shit together, and you know I’ve never done this with anyone before. I’ve never cared about anyone. I wasn’t lying the night before when I said we’d figure it out. I wasn’t lying when I said you were mine. You were, youare…I don’t know what I was planning, but I wasn’t planning on leaving you behind.”
Seconds pass, the silence so loud my ears ring. “Well, you did,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me.
Aleck steps closer, but his muscles tense when he stops himself from comforting me. My chest aches and constricts until my ribs feel the pressure of protecting my heart.
“I know I did.” He nods. “When I got the call about my dad, I reverted to who I used to be. That person was responsible for no one. That person survived by being selfish and processed emotions by staying in control.” He backs up against the counter and uncrosses his arms, gripping the edge until his knuckles turn white. “You make me feel anything but controlled, Winter. I took one look at you lying in that bed, and this voice that I always hear told me I didn’t deserve you. That I would only crush you under my weight and snuff out your light. So I turned and left, and I tried so fucking hard not to look back.”
“All you had to do was tell me to stay away.”
“Would you have stayed away? If you knew how much I cared about you? How much I care about you still?”
“I would havetried, but you didn’t give me the opportunity. You took away my choices. I didn’t know if you went silent because of Richard or if you just didn’t want me. I obsessed over every little detail, everything I did, every word you said, trying to figure out what I missed. I left you those messages and sent all those texts… You made me something I vowed, after Brian, I wouldneverbe again. You made me pathetic.”
Aleck swiftly pushes off the counter, stepping in front of me, the tips of his shoes hitting mine. He lifts his arms, his hands balled into fists, and presses his knuckles into the cabinet behind me, boxing me in.
“You arenotpathetic, do you hear me?”
Crisp pine, burning wood, and mint…Aleck.
His eyes hold me still, conviction shining from them. I know, even now, that for all my efforts of hating this man, I love him just as painfully. Like dying slowly from being poisoned justunderthe lethal dose. All I can do is breathe. He’s so close now, our chests grazing each other with each ragged breath we take.
“I listened to those voicemails every single day,” he whispers, a forceful energy radiating from his tensing muscles. “Manytimes a day until I saw you at Preston’s. I used them to remind myself that I don’t deserve you.”
“I doubt you’ve changed.”
“I agree, I haven’t, but now I know I’m determined to get you back. You’ve never seen me this determined, Grimm.”
“You got me into bed—”
“That wasn’t hard.” One of his hands leaves the cabinet and my body tenses in anticipation of his touch. His knuckles skim the outside of my thigh. “That was inevitable. As effortless as breathing, a magnet being attracted to metal. You and I were supposed to happen.”
His fingers leave a path of blazing skin as they trail up to my hip. When his fingers open and clench around my waist, lust punches me in the gut. I almost double over from the surge of emotions flooding me, but I lift my chin and hold my ground.
“Then I suppose we were supposed to end, too.” My bottom lip quivers as I speak.
Aleck’s eyes drop to my mouth. I swallow hard, balling my hands into fists so I don’t reach out to pull him closer. His fingers tighten around my waist, his thumb pressing into the tender crease between my thigh and pelvis.
I can’t fight my feelings. I can’t fight him, but I can’t let him back in either. I may be inlovewith Aleck, but I don’thatemyself.
He shakes his head slowly, eyes burning into mine. “We’re not over.” His deep cadence, calculating, hitting its target. He leans in, his lips touching the shell of my ear, and my breath stops. “I’m doing everything I did before you, and none of it feels likemeanymore. I’m reminded more now than ever that before you, I felt like a tourist. Living amongst people comfortable in their own skin, feeling completely lost in mine. And now that I’ve hurt you, I could tear this city to the fucking ground with the weight of my regret.”
His words. His thoughtful words. His attentive stare, possessive hands, and scent, all immobilizing. We’ll be naked in mere minutes.
I lick my lips, my mouth as dry as Aleck’s humor. His pale blue eyes leave mine. He dips his face into my neck, breathing in deep. My body goes slack against his.
“Baby, please…” he whispers. “Let me in. Let me make us whole again.”
The sound of him calling mebabycracks my heart wide open, exposing the pain inside to the world. I feel the wetness of tears on my cheek, rolling past my chin to my neck. Aleck’s tongue presses into my skin, making my hands slide over his waist, and he licks them up as I hug him into my body.
“I can’t be without you anymore, Winter. Give me another chance.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement, a demand. His deep and controlled tone resonated between my legs.
Give me another chance.That’s what Brian said, too…
“I haven’t been with anyone else.” Aleck’s warm breath tickles my ear and my heart constricts. “Only you, baby.”
