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CHAPTER18
As if the anguish of knowing he might have contributed to her losing one or both of their children wasn’t enough, now Selena had blindsided him with this new revelation. Another man. The sting in his heart was sharp. It's not like he needed any more reasons to hate himself, but to know that she had sought solace in another man’s arms hurt like nothing before.
Had he not done the same thing in the past? Hell, he had flaunted the fact in front of his wife and friends. What he had done was reprehensible, so why should it upset him that Selena had cheated on him? Because now he felt a possessiveness about his wife. He had tasted all her treasures, brought her to the pinnacle, and the idea of another man doing so made him jealous.
Trying to keep calm, he spoke. “What is the man’s name?”
Selena stuttered a moment before answering. “I would prefer not to say, but it is over.”
“When did you end it?”
“When you came home.”
“You have not seen him since?”
Selena bit her lip. Owen threw his arms up in the air. Christ, she had seen him. She put out a hand, imploring him to listen, but he turned away from her. The walls felt like they were closing in on him.
“Owen, please understand. He meant nothing to me. After you returned, he sought me out and wanted to continue our relationship, but I told him no, that I was staying with you.”
“Why? Because you felt sorry for me? The poor earl who had lost his memories?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
Owen huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. How stupid he had been to think that a few weeks together and some lessons in lovemaking would change anything? No matter how hard he tried, he would never be free of the past—or Selena’s. It was no more than he deserved. Now he had a taste of what Selena must have felt all those years when he had lovers. Taking a deep breath, he faced his wife. “I must thank you, my dear, for your patience and kindness toward me these last few weeks.”
Tears formed in Selena’s eyes. She shook her head, as if knowing what he was about to say.
“For now, I believe we both need some space and time. You have certainly given me a lot to consider.”
Perhaps it would be best to free Selena from this charade of a marriage. His memories were slowly returning, which could spell an end to their brief tranquility. Did he want to give up Selena and what they could have? No, but to protect her, he would.
Even though Selena said she had ended things with her lover, he couldn’t be completely certain. If she were no longer married to him, Selena would be free to choose the man she truly loved. He glanced at his wife, but she averted her gaze.
“I may be busy for the next few days. I will be looking further into this issue with Longfellow, so please don’t make any plans for us.”
“As you wish.” She didn’t look at him before leaving the room.
With her went Owen’s heart, his very soul, but it had to be this way. He had to choose to either work on his relationship with Selena or discover what had happened in New Zealand. As much as it pained him, Owen knew Selena could wait. Time was of the essence in finding the men responsible for attacking Selena. She would understand. Wouldn’t she?
* * *
The next day, Owen filled Bran in on everything that had happened over the last two days between meeting Longfellow and Fines. Owen kept quiet about his conversation with Selena. It was too raw and painful to discuss yet.
A few days later, Owen scheduled a meeting at his house with Gregory Fines, along with Longfellow and Bran. Perhaps together, they could fill in some blanks regarding Owen’s part in the smuggling operation.
The four men settled into chairs in the library on a rainy afternoon.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we met, sir,” Fines said to Owen. “I have written the names of some men I recall you being close with.” He handed over the paper.
John Reese, Henry Barrows, Robert Miller, Willy Dent, Luther Kipling
None of the names rang a bell.
“What was your relationship with these men?” Longfellow asked Fines.
“We were all in the same unit, but I wasn’t particularly friendly with any of them.” Fines looked at Owen. “Begging your pardon, sir, but the lot of you could all be right brutes when you wanted to be.”
The blunt truth about his character did not affect Owen the way it used to. It was as if they were speaking about another person, not him. “I appreciate your condor, Fines. I will not take offense to anything you say about me. We just need to find the truth.”
