Page 37 of Hate Notes


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Julie:Promise?

Me:I’d pinky swear if you were here.

Julie:Can I ask you a question?

Me:Isn’t that what we’re doing here? Shoot, I’m an open book.

Julie:Why are you texting a girl from another school, who you barely know, when there are probably a million girls fromLakeview you could be talking to?

Me:Maybe I’m tired of the girls at my school. And maybe it’s because you’re from somewhere else that I feel like I can be myself with you without being judged. Besides, you seem different.

Julie:Ugh?

Me:What? Different is a bad thing?

Julie:It’s overrated, trust me. No guys I know want someone different. They want a pretty girl with a perfect body and perfect hair. Captain of the cheerleading team. Blah blah blah.

Me:Well, maybe you’ve been talking to the wrong guys.

Julie:Maybe. . .

PENELOPE

I woke Saturday morning to the scent of frying bacon.

Blinking my bleary eyes, I cleared my sleep-addled brain with a groan. I’d stayed up far too late talking to Topher, and I lay there another moment before I mustered the energy to roll out of bed.

Speaking of Topher . . .

I hated him, so why was he the first thing that popped in my head? And why did butterflies riot in my stomach at the thought of him? This was the boy responsible for spearheading my nickname. The one who laughed at my expense. Every. Single. Time. The one I vowed to get dirt on.

But he was also the one who promised to make it up to me. The same person who claimed he didn’t want to be King. The same boy who was smarter than I thought. The one who spoke to Julie like he wasn’t the hottest, most popular boy at school with a future made of gold. The boy who felt pressure to be perfect and had issues with his father. The boy who wasn’t perfect, after all.

I pressed my fingers to my temples as I walked to my closet. It was too much to wrap my head around. As it turned out, Topher was an enigma, and I couldn’t quite seem to reconcile myself with the opposite versions of him—the boy who was a jerk in front of his friends or the one who texted Julie silly pictures of himself and talked about his life like it wasn’t perfect.

He told Julie no one really knew him.

Maybe he was right.

I changed out of my pajamas and headed for the kitchen, my nose as my guide as the scent of breakfast drew me in. Pushing thoughts of Topher to the backburner, I made a beeline for the fresh pot of coffee. The local news played in the background as I poured a cup and watched as Dad and Sara stood side-by-side at the stove. A dozen oddly shaped pancakes were stacked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa beside them while bacon sizzled in the frying pan.

My stomach rumbled. Bacon meant good news. Dad always bought it on special occasions like birthdays and holidays. Today was neither.

“Hey, sleepy-head,” Dad called over his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” My mouth watered as I propped a hip against the counter and took a sip of coffee.

“Dad has a surprise for you,” Sara blurted while Dad flashed her a look that told me she wasn’t supposed to say anything.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“Surprise? What kind of surprise?” I asked, straightening.

My thoughts flickered to Topher once more and I wondered if maybe he got me out of tutoring him and how I’d feel about it if he did.

“You’ll see. Let’s eat, and then you’ll find out.”

I took my mug of coffee to the table and sat as they brought the food to me. We sat, the three of us spread out so we filled the empty space where my mother would be. Breakfast was her favorite meal, and I couldn’t help but think of her as I piled my plate high with bacon and pancakes smothered with syrup. Or maybe it was the fact that I had told Topher about her last night that had me thinking of her. It was something I hadn’t done with anyone in a really long time, if ever. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

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