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“I know. I’m sorry, but I . . .” He paused, glancing to the side as if working something out in his head before turning his blue eyes back to mine. “Do you like my brother, Mia?”
“Of course I like your brother.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Do youlikehim like him?”
“What? No.” I crossed my arms over my chest, a wave of irritation flushing my face.
“Because I thought you and me . . .” He huffed like speaking was difficult, then growled and raked his hands through his hair, then muttered, “Why is this so hard?”
The heat of my anger thawed as I took in his expression. He seemed almost desperate when he asked, “Then why’d you kiss him?”
I frowned. “Why’d I . . .” It took me a second to understand. “What?” I whispered, and all the air rushed from my lungs. It all made sense. He saw us—the thudding noise outside of Ethan’s room must’ve been him. I could’ve sworn I had seen someone.
“You kissed him. I saw you guys,” he said, confirming my worst fears. “I came to see you, and I went to his room to see if you wanted to hang out, and I saw you kissing.”
My palms dampened and sweat pricked my back. Of course Carson chose that exact moment—a moment that lasted two seconds—to peek inside Ethan’s room. So, this is why he didn’t show yesterday or this morning. This is why he gave me the cold shoulder and answered none of my calls.
I would’ve done the same.
How did I explain this without sounding like a total liar?
Stepping forward, I pleaded, “I realize how bad that must’ve looked, but—”
“Do you?” he snapped.
I dropped my arms, surprised by his tone and the anger churning in his eyes. He could at least let me explain. And then I remembered what Olivia told me.
“I don’t know why it matters, anyway. Not when you’re ditching me to spend time with Olivia. Tell me . . . when you were supposed to meet Bell with me, and then this morning when you were supposed to meet me at the market, where were you? Did you and Olivia have fun laughing at me this morning?Oh, poor, little Mia, getting stood up. How funny.”
His eyes widened, giving himself away, but I wasn’t done. The tears came back, stinging my eyes with a vengeance. “So why do you care what I do, when you so clearly do whatever the heck you want?”
“Because you matter to me. Don’t you get it?” He gripped my arms in his hands, and I swallowed as his words hit home.
Silence consumed the air around us.I mattered to him.
“You’ve always mattered. All these years, the stupid fights, the teasing . . . It was all just a way to get to you.” Carson drew in a shaky breath, then turned around and shoved his hands in his hair, pacing before he pivoted back around to face me. “I thought we had something; you know? I thought”—he shook his head—"I don’t know, like, we were working toward something, and then I go in his room, and I seethat,and I—”
“It was a mistake,” I said, hoping he’d listen. “For the record, Ethan kissedme. I didn’t even kiss him back, and though I admit I was in shock for a second, I pushed him away the moment I even realized what had happened. And it was awful. Like really,reallyawful.” I grimaced.
I could only imagine what Ethan would say if he heard me, but it was the truth, and I had to make Carson believe me. “It was like kissing my grandfather,” I said, stealing Ethan’s words.
I was totally blowing this. If I were Carson, I would never believe me, which meant whatever we had was over. All because of that single moment Ethan decided to become jealous.
I was going to throttle him.
I brought my fingers to my temples, panic swelling in my chest. “He apologized afterward and said he was just freaked out because he got jealous of the time we were spending together and how everything was changing. I haveneverliked Ethan in that way. Not in the nine years I’ve known him. He has always been just a friend to me. I likeyou.” Then in a softer voice, I mustered my courage and said, “You’re the one I want.”
He met my eyes, his gaze intense as I continued, “I know it’s crazy. I mean, me and Carson Brooks? Who would’ve thought, but I—”
His mouth crushed mine, and I had never been more grateful to not have to finish a sentence.
He kissed me dizzy. Kissed away my words, all my fears. And when he pulled away, his gaze flickered over my face, assessing. “How was that?”
I exhaled. “I’m not sure.” He frowned in response, and I added, “You better kiss me again. Just to be sure.”
Then he grinned and kissed me again.
Chapter 31
