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Liv stumbled backwards, shocked and confused, her eyes finally picking out the crumpled body of the man who’d stood next to her at the traffic lights. He had saved her twice. It seemed as if, for one eternal second, the whole city fell into bottomless silence. Then there was the most pathetic sound she’d ever heard. It was something between a whimper and a cry of pain. It stirred something up in her from deep within her bones. She’d become a nurse to help people, but this was different; this was like the reverberations of a sounding fork struck many lifetimes ago and coming back now to resonate deep in her heart. But, the practical part of her brain knew, the level of noise and pandemonium around her meant that a sound like that would have to be lost on the night air.
Suddenly, it seemed everything was becoming confused – people crowding around, wanting to help – but much too shocked to realise what needed to be done. She heard it again, a soft sound, a familiar and haunting noise. It felt like an echo, catching her breath, making her heart stop in her chest.Promise. She looked around. Her eyes gliding over empty expressions, up and down the road and then, on the glistening tarmac, she saw him, surrounded by onlookers. He was stupefied into staring and inactivity. The man who’d stood beside her only moments earlier. The man who’d made her heart flip in her chest as if he’d just turned over a switch that had been too long out of use. Liv began to run, pushing past the people standing about. She fell to the ground beside him, started to check for breath, a pulse, anything that was a vital sign of life.
‘Call another ambulance,’ she shouted to the people gathered round. ‘Now.’ She screamed and bent back down over the man. It was so dark and with the people about her cutting out the street lights overhead, she couldn’t see if his chest was rising or not. She bent down closer, put her ear next to his mouth and nose. He smelled of musk and lemon and she drew in the scent of him for a moment.Oh, God. Please don’t let him die,she prayed. She called out again for people to give him space to breathe and then she wasn’t sure if she heard or felt it. It was something, a soft noise or a warm breath on her cheek. She looked down at him; he was breathing. She was so close to him now, it felt intimate in a way that she’d never felt in her nursing career before.
And then, she noticed it. A thin trickle of blood was dripping, forming a sinister black pool on the ground beneath his ear.
Oh God. Oh God. No.
The sound of not one, but two sirens nearby pushed through a deep schism in the crowd around her. A familiar face, she couldn’t remember his name, asked people to move back. He was one of the older paramedics. He knew his job well and Liv was relieved it was him and not one of the younger ones playing to an audience.
After carrying out what felt like a million checks, they moved him swiftly and securely to a stretcher and it seemed within minutes they were all racing back up the hospital avenue, speeding to the A&E entrance with their casualty.
His name was Finn O’Connell. Or at least, that’s what it said on his driver’s licence. It felt wrong, to be going through his personal items, this man who until so recently had been a complete stranger to Liv. And yet, wrong and all as it might be, she wanted to know everything about him. Well, they needed to let his next of kin know that he was here. There could be a wife or children at home waiting for him. There would be family somewhere and friends – Liv had a feeling this man would have good friends. Lots of friends, solid and reliable, and they would worry about him too.
There was no wedding ring though. Liv had checked, surreptitiously, in spite of herself. The blood that had trailed from his ear had stopped now. It dried in a soft line down the side of his head. She wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but of course, she knew that bleeding from the ear, after a fall like Finn O’Connell had just sustained, was not a good sign.
So, instead, she set about trying to help the EMT to fill in the blanks about who he was and what had happened to him.
‘Type O bloods,’ she said, picking out a donor card. There were credit cards, a debit card, a couple of cards for franchise coffee shops that looked like he’d never used them. There was cash, notes and coins. A small St Christopher medal, the saint of travellers, or was he yet another decommissioned saint? It didn’t matter – she prayed he’d look after Finn O’Connell now. She replaced them all again, her hands shaking so much she almost dropped them as the ambulance reversed and parked in the emergency bay. Liv thought they’d never get him into the hospital fast enough.
‘Well, you’re not going to be much good to anyone this evening.’ The older EMT touched her arm kindly. ‘We can leave you home after this, if you’d like. I’ll let the matron know that you’ve had a shock.’ But of course, she’d been on her wayoffduty, although she didn’t have the words to tell him that at the moment. Finally, just as they’d gotten Finn O’Connell safely unloaded and Liv was carrying the gift that had been tucked into his coat pocket, she heard the midnight bells ring out across the city. Churches dotted all about calling out the fact that it was midnight; finally, it was the first day of Christmas.
*
The sound of her phone, ringing out in her bag pulled her back to the real world. It was Pete, wondering if he could collect her yet. Worst possible timing, as a road traffic guard stood at her elbow waiting to take down her statement. She started to shiver, overloaded with the shock of it all.
‘Liv, where are you? Is everything okay?’ Pete could hear the commotion around her.
‘It’s okay, I was just on my way to the bus, but there’s been an accident,’ Liv said, aware that she was shaking; even the muscles in her face felt as if they were wired to some crazy rhythm beyond her control.
‘Oh, dear God. Are you all right?’ There was no missing the worry in Pete’s voice.
‘No, not me, I’m fine, a bit shaken, but fine. It was a motorbike accident, on the road. The place is like a bottle out here. I’m just going back in to the hospital with a man who’s been knocked over. He’s…’ Liv looked down at him now. She couldn’t say another word; her breath caught in her chest.Please, don’t die.It was all she could think.
‘So you’re sure you’re okay?’ Pete’s words were wound up tight with worry.
‘Really, I’m grand. It all just happened so quickly, right before my eyes and…’
‘Oh, thank God for that. I mean, that poor guy, but…’ He took a deep breath, steadying his voice when he spoke next, so he sounded again like the old reliable friend she’d come to depend on to be strong when she couldn’t be. ‘Look, just ring me when you want to be collected, yeah?’
‘I…’ Liv thought for a moment. She was meant to go home tonight, but she looked down at the man lying on the stretcher before her. She couldn’t just leave him. He’d saved her life – how could she just get in a car and celebrate Christmas when his life might be hanging in the balance?
But then she thought of Eddie. Eddie, who vowed he’d never get married. It had all been part of the deal – grabbing what she could have when Rachel had lost everything. She was so looking forward to Christmas this year, more than she had since… well in a very long time.
Liv closed her eyes for a second, felt as if the world had somehow closed in on her. She took what felt like a monumental deep breath and said:
‘I…’
2
‘I should be ready to go in an hour or so.’ Liv moved away from the policeman and into the freezing midnight air. She glanced back at the man on the stretcher. She had made her statement, done all she could do for him. He would be in the best of hands; she could make sure of that before she left. But she had to go home, she just had to. She had waited long enough, and God knows, with Eddie, if he’d worked himself up to ask her to marry him, she couldn’t jeopardise that in any way. For too long there had been that banter between them. Eddie joking that she’d never tie him down, while she smiled and held on tightly, knowing that under it all, he needed her and loved her as much as she did him. But she’d always hoped that one day they’d get married. She just needed to wait until he was ready, not throw him off course with nagging him about it. That was part of the deal with Eddie, smoothing over everything so he’d get on with things. It was just the way he was.
And at this stage, now that Liv understood that, could plan for it, well, it was endearing. It meant he needed her, probably more than anyone ever had. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes tight. This is for Eddie. ‘I just feel very wobbly now –it’s probably shock.’ It wasn’t a lie. Her hands were shaking, her whole body, occasionally taken over by an engulfing tremor, and yet, she felt guilty. Oh, God, the guilt of leaving a complete stranger in the best possible care was making her feel sick to her stomach almost as much as the shock of seeing the accident.
‘It’s been a shock, but lucky for everyone, you were here when it happened.’ The older EMT placed an arm about her shoulder and in a gentle voice added, ‘Maybe you should get checked over before you go?’
‘No, no, there’s no need for that, I’m fine really. I’m just a little shocked. The guy who was run over, well, he pushed me out of the way. I might have been killed but for him,’ she said and she was glad to be here to settle him in before she left. It was the very least she could do. She wouldn’t leave him until she was sure he was in the best possible hands. Liv would get him moved up the chain so he saw a surgeon straight away, no faffing about with registrars or trainee doctors who were too tired to realise they should have gone home hours ago.
