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She sneaked a peek at the baby nearest to her. It was a perfect baby boy with a powder-blue hat falling down about his ears. He was all scrunched-up features and balled-up hands. She imagined being in that woman’s shoes right now. Bringing home not one, but two newborn babies. What could be more perfect? Christmas with twins! It sounded like the title of a romcom, but Liv felt it was exactly the sort of happy ending she wanted her own life to turn into. The woman looked tired, completely washed out, but then everything about her changed as she peeked into the carry chair she’d popped up on the seat next to her and Liv was glad. It would be a shame to have two lovely new babies and not be transported to a state of complete and utter bliss at just having them close by.
The alarm on her phone reminded her it was time to get back to A&E. She tidied away the empty paper cup and slipped her phone back in her bag, giving one last glance across at the new mother who seemed to be completely lost in rapturous contentment. Bliss.
*
It felt as if no-one told people on her ward that it was Christmas Eve. When she returned it was ten times busier than when she left.
‘You should have called me,’ she said to Francine who was putting a lot more effort into making space for incoming patients than any of the innkeepers in Bethlehem two thousand and more years earlier.
‘Don’t be daft – you deserved your break.’ Francine was lovely. She was a very hands-on nursing manager, but she still managed to keep on top of everything else that needed to be done to keep the ward moving at a safe and efficient rate. ‘Anyway, this is the least of our worries.’ Her expression was weary as she looked along the corridor where a line of trolleys ran with patients waiting to be transferred to examination cubicles that wouldn’t be free for a few more hours probably.
‘Oh?’ Liv knew that already two of the nurses and one of the orderlies had to go home early with the winter vomiting bug. She’d spent over half her dinner break disinfecting the whole ward to try and curb any chance of it being spread to the patients being admitted.
‘We have three more nurses due on shift ringing in to say that they are feeling unwell. It sounds as if it’s rife.’
‘I could call Ashley and Kayla?’ They were both great agency nurses. They’d worked right throughout the hospital, but unfortunately Francine couldn’t see past their multiple piercings and tattooed wrists.
‘No, no, I’m sure we’ll manage.’ Francine shook her head.
‘You know they are saving for a flat. If we don’t start giving them hours, they’re just going to find work somewhere else, and I know they’re both happy to come in at short notice.’
‘I’ve never liked working with couples and…’ Francine sighed. ‘We’ll manage, don’t worry.’
‘You’re the boss,’ Liv said and she hoped she hadn’t put some sort of hex on the holidays with her thoughts of everything going exactly to plan. She knew too well it only took an icy patch on the motorway to fill up the emergency rooms and put the whole department under pressure. She looked at her watch. Less than two hours to go.
‘Good news,’ Francine said as she pulled her aside twenty minutes later. ‘One of the HR girls managed to contact three nurses for the night shift and none of the remaining rostered staff have called in since.’
‘Oh, that is good news. We’ll be able to finish as normal so?’
‘Well, I’m definitely sending you home as soon as the first one arrives – you’ve done the work of three nurses today.’
‘Thank you.’ Liv laughed. She was delighted when Francine packed her out the door before the midnight bells struck, a half hour before her shift was meant to finish.
That was why Liv loved this time of year. It seemed to her that even the most harried people she knew could make time for a chink of something warm in their hearts, just because it was Christmas. She bundled her huge scarf around her neck, still smiling at the feeling of leaving work early. The night-duty nurses had arrived on shift and she almost skipped out of the hospital, having said her goodbyes to everyone for the holiday season.
A hard frost settling on the hospital grounds made the paths slippery, and the green areas sparkled with glittering specks that paled the grass to a minty velvetiness. The huge tree that stood in the centre of the grass was decorated with coloured lights and looked like a beacon for optimism in a place where hope was as valuable a commodity as any other at this time of year. Liv thought of those patients who would not get home to spend Christmas with their families this year. She especially thought of the people in geriatrics, paediatrics and oncology – it was towards those wards the tree seemed to wink the most.
She loved working in A&E, couldn’t imagine working in any other department. It was always busy and she was part of a great team, for the most part made up of people she’d worked with for a couple of years now and so, although the transitory nature of it meant that there were no real patients to miss over the holidays, she still felt a small tinge of guilt at heading home to Ballycove for her perfect family Christmas.
Eddie would be there already, no doubt being fussed over by his mum. Bless him, he had the patience of a saint. Liv had rung him earlier in her shift, just as he was leaving the city. He sounded harassed, but then, he’d just wanted to get home, and it was a long drive. Heavy traffic always put him in rotten humour. He worked hard. Liv knew that he’d worked much harder this year than he had let on to her. The secret, of having found that ring –her ring, made her smile now. This Christmas, at home in Ballycove, with her family and Eddie was going to be the most special one ever.
She was lost in these happy thoughts as she neared the hospital gates. The main road was always busy and even at this late hour, traffic was thundering past. In the distance, she thought she saw her bus. Having left work half an hour earlier than she expected, she had time to make it home to the flat and save Pete the round trip to pick her up from work first. She could call him on the way and tell him to collect her there instead. If she could make it across in time, she might just be able to catch this one, which would save her a fifteen-minute wait in the freezing night air for the next.
She reached out to press the button to cross at the same time as the man next to her. Their fingers touched the button together. She could feel the weight of his hand press against hers, for just a moment, and she had that crazy feeling you get when you touch metal and get a slight electric shock. When she looked up, she felt her breath catch in her chest because she was looking into the eyes of a man who seemed to be the most familiar stranger she’d ever seen.
‘Oh, sorry,’ he said. Perhaps he’d felt that powerful surge too. Of course, she knew it was probably just some electrical fault in the traffic lights; surely, there was no other explanation. He pulled his hand away and then stopped, smiled at her as if they’d come to some silent realisation between them at the same time.
‘No, I…’ she began. His eyes were strikingly blue with heavy brows and lashes, he was tall and broad-shouldered and for a moment, she realised, she was just gazing at him gormlessly.Good God, woman,she admonished herself,what are you like?So, she looked away, keeping her stare intent on the lights changing before her. But still, she was very aware of him next to her. She sensed that he too was staring hard ahead, forcing himself not to look at her.
At that moment, the lights before Liv changed and she was brought back to the present moment with a rush as the wind at her back heaved forward and she almost lost her footing.
‘Okay?’ The man had grabbed her elbow to steady her. He smiled at her now and something familiar in the shape of his mouth made her heart lurch. He was taller than her, a good six foot. He was slender too, but when he reached out to her, she could tell there was solidity to him. There was manliness about him that went beyond his five o’clock shadow or the slight nick in his skin just to the left of his chin.
‘I’m fine, I just…’ She smiled at him and they stopped in the road for a moment, a silence stretching out between them. There was something so familiar about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She never forgot a face, but perhaps he was a relative of a patient who’d only passed through the A&E one of those days when she’d been too rushed to take much notice.That’s it,Liv thought,I’ve run into him somewhere before and I’ll remember as soon as I’m drifting off to sleep tonight.
She was about to continue across the road, but the roar of a motorbike at her back stopped her in her tracks. It had come out of nowhere. There was a sickening screech of brakes, and then she felt the man push her out of the way, diving into the path of the oncoming bike himself. She heard the bone-crushing thumping sound of his body as it impacted with the bike. She was on the ground now, looking about dazed to see what had happened behind her, but she knew. The man had saved her life. She was almost afraid to look around to see if it had cost him his.
As the road about her slowly came back into focus, she could just make out the bike. The wheel was still spinning. It had skidded along the road, the biker thrown off with his head and shoulders at an angle that she knew meant his spine could be compromised. Dazed, she began to move towards him, trying to feel for her phone in her bag at the same time. But there was a woman there already, pulling out her phone, jabbing the numbers to get an ambulance out here as quickly as possible.
