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‘Oh, we know right enough who he’s gone with.’ Nick sneered.
‘What’s all that about?’ Maya whispered.
‘I’m not sure,’ Liv said but her heart felt as if it had plummeted to the depths of her stomach, because, even though she didn’t want to, she could make a pretty accurate guess. So much for interrogating them, she could hardly look at them after seeing the mocking look in Nick’s eyes. They stayed just long enough to finish off their drinks and then they left their glasses back on the bar counter and said goodnight to the drinkers stationed there.
The night had grown biting cold, as if someone had dropped a blanket of arctic air about the village, and Liv pulled her jacket closer around her as they made their way to the jeep.
She felt Maya’s hand reach out to her, just as she was about to turn over the engine.
‘Look,’ her sister breathed, although no-one could hear them. Liv squinted to see out the windshield as a light tracing of snow was beginning to fall, but she didn’t have to squint for long before she saw Eddie’s familiar figure swagger along the footpath. He looked as if he might be a little drunk, but that wasn’t what Maya was pointing at. ‘Isn’t that Anya?’ she said, hardly loud enough to be heard on the still air in the jeep. And it was, Anya and Eddie walking down the main street, arms wrapped about each other, like love’s young dream. There was no mistaking the relationship between them. This had nothing to do with keeping balance on a slippery path and everything to do with brazenly telling anyone who cared to see them that they were together – a couple. Such a pity that he hadn’t told Liv first.
Panic.
Sickening, breath-plundering, vomit-inducing panic. Liv felt as if she was shivering and turned to stone all in one go. It was not sorrow or heartbreak or even betrayal, which she knew she had every right to feel. She heard a groan come from somewhere that had little to do with actually trying to speak and everything to do with some feral emotion that she wouldn’t trust in a kitten, never mind a full-grown woman who should know better.
‘I’ll kill him…’ She started to get out of the jeep, but even then, in her blind panic, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to murder Eddie or Anya most.
‘No you won’t.’ Maya pulled her down in the jeep, holding her head on the bench seat and folding her own body down on top of her. ‘You bloody won’t, not here. You’re not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset, especially not outside Flannelly’s pub – you’d have Nick Flannelly out taking photographs before you knew it,’ she whispered vehemently. Outside, somewhere beyond the jeep, above their two folded bodies, Liv could hear Eddie and Maya pass by. They were talking, oblivious to everything else around them. She imagined Anya laughing at some joke that Liv never would have found funny.
‘Oh, God,’ Liv said when Maya finally released her. ‘What am I going to do now?’
‘You’re going to sit there, while I drive us back home and then, we’ll have two very strong drinks before we set about putting the world to rights. Tomorrow, when you have a banging hangover, you can think about confronting him, okay?’ Maya put her arms around Liv and pulled her close, hugging her so tightly it felt as if she’d never let her go. ‘They are welcome to each other, Liv. I know you don’t see that now, but really, you could do so much better than that awful Eddie Quirke.’
*
She was distracted; that was all. It had been a long shift. She tried the door key once more. No, it hadn’t finally broken, had it? Damn it, not now, this door lock had been dodgy for as long as she could remember. Why oh why did it have to go now, when all she wanted to do was curl up on the couch for half an hour?
She looked at the lock more closely. It was much shinier than usual, and she realised, someone had changed it. She was locked out of her own flat. What on earth was she going to do now? Surely Eddie hadn’t come back here and changed the locks while she was at work – he wouldn’t do something like that, would he? He needed somewhere to live and he certainly couldn’t move in with Anya or Pete. Eddie hadn’t paid rent in Dublin in years; it was going to come as a huge shock to him. Prices had gone through the roof over the last couple of years and that was if he was lucky enough to find a place available that wasn’t fit to be condemned. Would he even have enough money for a deposit? Although, then Liv thought about Barbara Quirke. No doubt, his mother would give him the cash for starting out. She’d probably complain and whine about it, but ultimately, it’d be another chance to fawn over him before he returned to work in the New Year.
God, even the thoughts of Barbara sent a shiver through her. Liv knew with certainty, she’d had a very lucky escape – Barbara would always have made life difficult for her; she was just that sort of woman.
She wanted to slide down to the floor and sit there crying rather than sort this out. Then a text message pinged on her phone. She hadn’t checked it since this morning before she’d gone on shift. She pulled it out of her bag. Three missed calls from Pete and a message. She clicked into the message first.
Hi Liv, I tried ringing, you must be very busy?(Oh no, so now he thought she was avoiding him?)I dropped over to the flat earlier and changed that dodgy lock on your door. I left the new keys where Rachel used to leave the spare. Talk soon, hopefully.
Liv felt overwhelmed. There was so much in just those few lines. She’d all but forgotten those days when Rachel used the spare key as often as her own. She walked across to the top of the stairs, felt about beneath the carpet runner and slipped two brand-new keys out. Pete. He was still like a friendly guardian angel who was happy to do the practical things to keep her on track. Once she was inside, she inspected the new lock. Pete was right: the old one had been dodgy for too long. Actually, when she and Rachel had moved in first, changing it had been one of those things they had agreed they’d get around to one of these days.
She called Pete to thank him.
‘I sometimes ask myself what I’ve done to deserve you,’ she said inadequately and she wondered if he felt this new unfamiliar awkwardness between them. Now that she was actually speaking to him, it felt as if she’d just imagined that kiss, but then, maybe there was a lot more to it in her imagination than there was in reality. She’d spent far too long worrying about it.
‘There was every need,’ Pete said. ‘It’s what friends do for each other – help each other out. Anyway, I figured it was killing two birds with one stone.’
‘Well, you didn’t need to worry about Eddie forcing his way back in. I’m not sure he’s bothered enough.’
‘Well, it goes to show, he’s a bigger fool than I thought if that’s the case.’
‘Oh.’ For a moment the silence that resonated between their connection seemed to resound with so much more than explanations or apologies. ‘Well, thank you. I suppose this means I owe you another dinner.’ She could have bitten her tongue off after she said it. After all, wasn’t it chicken curry and beer that had led to that moment that hung in the air between them now?
‘Don’t worry; I won’t be holding you to it,’ he said evenly, but there was no missing the fact that his voice sounded as if he’d stepped not just physically from the phone, but also emotionally further away from her than she could ever remember.
‘Right, well, you know where I am if…’ Oh, God, could she dig the hole any deeper – it sounded as if she was yelling at him: Come get me; I’m truly desperate.
‘Thanks, Liv,’ he said before hanging up.
‘Yes, thanks,’ she said to the dead phone in her hand and, in some strange way, Liv thought she hadn’t felt this completely bereft in a very long time.
But it was madness, she kept telling herself as she tried to settle down for the night. She and Pete – it was ridiculous. He’d been Rachel’s best friend. And now he was her best friend, apart from Maya, and you can’t count sisters, because they don’t get a choice in being your friend, do they? She took down the framed photograph of the three of them, smiling, happy faces on a group holiday to Corfu, so many years ago, before they’d even really grown up. She’d found it a few days earlier, buried under a pile of Eddie’s clothes.
