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I think about the many bad fucks over my life. I could never get aroused enough to enjoy them. I mostly focused on faking pleasure, so the man would be happy.
With Silas, I’m insanely attracted to his muscular body. Every day, I wake up next to tanned, tatted flesh. When he looks at me, I lose myself in his pale blue eyes. They’re capable of revealing stark hatred, only to shift to the most tender need.
Right now, Silas wears a relaxed expression. He rarely shows this face to anyone. Even when he smiles around his friends and the kids, he seems on alert.
As children, we were both unwanted, yet our paths went in very different directions. Silas grew into a dominating figure, capable of intimidating other powerful men. I grew into a weak person, capable of bowing to other weak people.
That’s why I don’t touch him right now. My fingers ache to slide through his thick chest hair. I want to feel his lips on mine. I wish his cock were inside me.
Yet, I’m afraid of his reaction. Silas might respond with affection to my desires. Or he could be finished with me for the night. I fear the sting of his potential rejection, so I don’t dare ask for his acceptance.
His gaze sharpens in response to whatever he sees on my face. “You’re mine, Landry,” he says in an almost hostile tone. “No one else will ever own you like I do.”
“I know.”
“I might not be what you want, but I’m what you need.”
“Youarewhat I want.”
Silas narrows his eyes and asks, “Then, why do you look put out?”
My natural instinct is to shrug and let him dictate the rest of the night. However, I think of the way Silas worried about me earlier today when I sat on the floor with an upset Beau. Though I wanted to please him, I put my baby first. When necessary, I’m capable of sticking to my guns.
“I want to feel you inside me,” I say, and he instantly cocks an eyebrow as if my words surprise him. “I also wish I could see you while we fucked. I think I should be on top this time.”
“No.”
Frowning, I consider pushing back. Can I demand more, even if it’s not for my kids?
I’ve stood up to people before, from my parents to Darlie to the line of men I pretended to love. Of course, I never won against any of them. They always tricked or threatened me into backing down. Sometimes, they simply tired me out with their constant bitching until I realized winning wasn’t worth the effort.
I’m certain I lack the energy to battle a man as stubborn as Silas. However, he’s the one who told me to never lie.
“I want to be on top.”
“You can’t do all the work with your ligament thing.”
“I could do some of the work. We could be a team.”
When Silas’s eyes narrow to the point of him looking asleep, I sigh. “I understand why they call you Nomad. You’re accustomed to doing everything on your terms and on your own.”
“Don’t try manipulating me.”
“But I want to win,” I murmur and slide my fingers through his chest hair like I’ve been craving. “I have all these dirty fantasies about you and me and fucking, but my bump gets in the way.”
Shoving his hand into his thick mane, he mutters, “We should have waited.”
“Was it not good?”
His gaze locks onto mine. “It was the best fuck of my life.”
“Then, we shouldn’t wait. Life isn’t certain.”
“You’re never dying.”
“No, I plan to live forever, but your life is dangerous,” I reply and stroke the healing cut along his cheek. “I’ve had a lot of sex over my life, and none of it was good. I want many hot fucks to wash away those bad memories.”
Silas leans back and laughs. “You’re so bad at seduction.” Frowning, I’m surprised when he leans over and kisses me. “Don’t be sad.”
