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Tears fill her eyes as she thinks of going home without me. I feel Silas’s growing tension next to us. He doesn’t know how to make everyone happy in this situation. Kicking ass was easy for him, but this emotional stuff leaves him uneasy.
“We can talk on the phone,” I say and hand her the new phone Silas bought for her. “That way we’ll be together while you help your brothers and sister feel okay. They might like Rosemary and Woodrow, but only their big sister will keep them from crying all night.”
Blair likes feeling needed. I worry one day an asshole will use that trait against her. She might end up trapped like I did, wasting years of her life on losers.
Panicking over problems years away, I start crying. Silas goes rigid and grips the steering wheel.
“He won’t let people screw with you,” I tell Blair, thinking about the future, though she assumes I mean how he fought for her today.
Hearing my promise, Silas reaches for my hand and searches for reassurance. My fingers stroke his palm, hoping to calm him. Yet, my tears don’t stop.
I’m overwhelmed by everything. My babies are too far away. Meanwhile, the past comes crashing down on me. I feel my parents’ disappointment, Aunt Darlie’s betrayal, and every man’s cruelty. All those years of loneliness hit me next.
However, I’m not alone. We arrive at the hospital with an entourage. These men and Goose will protect us. At home, my babies are safe with good people.
Not long after Selene and Ruin arrive, she goes with me upstairs to the maternity ward. Silas stays with Blair in the emergency room. Meanwhile, the club oversees security as the injured members of the Copper family start arriving.
Upstairs, Selene helps me change into a hospital gown. “Are you in pain?” she asks when I can’t stop crying.
“Only when I have a contraction. Otherwise, I’m just...” I can’t find the words. “I just feel too much.”
Selene’s golden eyes fill with tears. She looks at me really hard as if ready to attack, but I realize she’s working up the nerve to hug me. I lean into her embrace, crying harder at how much I’ve wanted friends. All those years alone return to me as I embrace this new life.
“Yazmin is coming to get Blair. Wynonna is picking up Joie and going to your house. Do you think having everyone around might distract your babies from you being gone?”
Wiping my eyes, I nod. “Until bedtime. They might need to sleep together like they did the first night when Silas saved us. My babies are strongest when they stick close.”
Smiling at my words, Selene asks if I want to lie down. The nurse does the same after checking the bump on my head. Silas nearly growls at me to get in bed when he appears with Blair.
“Moving around helps with the contractions,” I explain as I hug my daughter.
“That seems wrong,” Silas says and then shrugs his wide shoulders. “But you’ve done this more than I have.”
Hearing vulnerability in his voice, I consider the strange energy coming off Silas. Even after Blair and Selene leave with Yazmin, I study him and try to read past his tension to the unease underneath.
Silas barely settles down, even when I rest in bed long enough to have the baby monitor hooked up. Brigitte’s heartbeat is strong. After thirty minutes, I get back up and move around.
When I lean over and hold onto the bed, puffing through a contraction, Silas rubs my lower back. I wonder if he went to Lamaze with Kati. Did he rub her back like this not so long ago?
“Is this hospital where the baby was born?” I ask as I pant through the end of the contraction.
“No. This place is new. It was the old county one.”
“That’s where I had my babies.”
When Silas watches me with wary eyes, I realize how going through this with me probably stirs up bad memories. All those months, he waited for his son to be born. Silas came up with a name, designed his house, set up the nursery, and carried around those little blue booties.
As Kati went into labor, he must have been nervous yet excited to meet his boy. I can imagine his joy when he first held Michael.
How soon afterward did Silas lose his son to another man? The baby never slept a single night in his nursery. I assume the ugly truth came to light at the hospital. Silas was transformed from a doting dad to a betrayed man left out in the cold.
“Why are you crying?” he asks when I move to the shower and use the hot water to help with my back pain.
“I think I’m in mourning.” When Silas stares at me horrified, assuming the worst, I flick water at his face and force a grin. “Neal never helped me when I was in labor. I had no friends to hold my hand. I suffered alone.”
Silas scowls hard at my words, wanting vengeance for the old Landry.
I take his hand and rest it against my cheek. “Today was terrible in many ways, but I also felt like my babies and I mattered. I knew you would protect us. Right now, when I’m naked and in pain, I feel completely safe with you. That’s why I’m crying.”
