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The longer I look at her little face, the more I accept losing Michael. I’ve already known my baby girl for longer than I did him.
“You got lucky, kid,” I whisper as I rest the sleeping baby in her crib now located in my bedroom. “You won the mama lottery, and you got an upgrade on your dad. Your life’s going to be golden.”
Crawling into bed next to Landry, I wrap my arm protectively around her and sleep deeper than I have in ages.
LANDRY
During labor with Brigitte, I cry decades’ worth of sorrow and regret. I must have seemed nuts to Silas, but I feel unburdened afterward.
Later, when I worried about my babies, I took consolation in knowing they were at Silas’s big house with their new “aunt” and “uncle.” Growing up, I never had such warm people in my life. My kids only knew the rough, often unkind behavior of the Copper family. Thanks to Silas, they’re surrounded by a better quality of people.
Once I’m home, Blair sticks to me. She tells me how her aunt pretended to visit her cousin to get past the front desk. Then, she bulldozed her way into Blair’s classroom and tried ripping off the cast to prove I was a liar.
“I don’t want to go back,” she tells me in a small voice. “Everyone saw me crying.”
“It’s the end of the year. We’ll work something out to let you finish up at home. I think the principal will understand after what happened.”
Blair looks so relieved as she cuddles closer. “I thought you were going to die.”
“I worried about you, too. But we’re safe at home now. Your next school year will be a brand-new start. Your arm will be healed by then. You’ll feel comfortable in this house. If you get nervous, your therapist can help you work through it. I will, too, of course. You have so many people who love you.”
Blair tries to smile. She’s become like me, putting on a show for people. Though I think Silas is wrong about always telling the truth, I see his point about how I wear a happy mask when I’m really hurting inside. I don’t want that for Blair, where her feelings must be hidden from others.
Before I can start drowning in regret and worries, I wrap her in my arms and hold my firstborn. We aren’t alone anymore. People will help us, listen to our trouble, offer advice, and lift us up.
Like after each birth, the first week home is exhausting. This time, though, I have help with the kids. I’m able to enjoy plenty of naps.
Silas makes me feel like a queen. He’s always at my beck and call. The sexy, tatted, and muscled beast massages my feet each night. The way his thumbs stroke the bottom of my feet seems like foreplay.
Even with Brigitte sleeping nearby, I feel like Silas and I are alone in the world. I see nothing else. My mind is laser-focused on his sexy body and magical fingers. However, Silas refuses even the mildest sexy times, and I can’t bear to bully him into doing my bidding.
Instead, I enjoy this new life as his woman and a mother of five.
When Brigitte is a week old, I have the baby shower I missed out on by delivering early. Wynonna insists we’ll do something bigger later. For today, she brings lunch, complete with cocktails. The kids keep us sober for the first hour. We eat fried chicken and all the fixings.
Wynonna, Selene, and Yazmin take turns holding Brigitte. The sisters wear the same sad expressions when they see her. Once again, I wish I could ask rude, intrusive questions and learn their secrets. Not wanting to upset my new friends, I keep my mouth shut.
