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“What happened in the bathroom?” Silas asks, scooting over and claiming my belly with his hand. “Before you left, I thought you’d take a bite out of me. Now, you look like I shit on your birthday cake.”
“You should let me lie,” I tell him and sigh. “I’m much more likable and fun to be around when I can lie about how I’m feeling. This honesty rule will be the end of us both.”
“No lying.”
Nodding, I struggle with the feelings I usually keep shoved in a pit in my stomach. All my ugly memories and painful thoughts go to hide in that dark place. It’s a good system. That way, I don’t walk around miserable all the time. My kids won’t know how much I struggle. If I learned anything from my overly honest mother, it’s how children benefit from lies and secrets.
“Tell me why you look miserable now.”
“Life is hard, Silas,” I say, fighting tears again. “I pretend I’m strong, but I’m usually just tired and worried. You’re asking me to stop pretending. Well, this is what you get. I know you don’t want that, either. I’m not sure how to make you happy.”
Silas glares at me until I close my eyes to escape his anger. As his hand strokes my belly, I hear him sigh.
“I’d rather you be sad than lie. I almost never hide my feelings. If I’m pissed, I’m just fucking pissed. People need to accept how I won’t put on a friendly face for their benefit.”
I feel Silas’s lips press against my temple. Inhaling sharply, I’m unsure how to respond to his affection. I finally open my eyes and look into his. He’s both the most terrifying man I’ve ever met and the sexiest. I can’t believe he’s real.
“I’m not a nice person,” he says in a hard voice. “But I’ll be nice to you. That should make your life easier. I want you to smile more, but I don’t want you to lie. If you’re not in the mood to smile, don’t. If you hurt inside, show the pain. Hiding doesn’t do anyone any good.”
I think to explain how my mom was as real as a person could get, and her blunt personality scarred me. I would give anything if she had sugarcoated some things.
However, I need Mister Straight Shooter to want me. Maybe I’m lying through omission, but I keep my mouth shut about how honesty isn’t always the best policy.
“I’m worried about someone taking Brooklyn from me.”
“That’s not happening.”
“I’m not her legal guardian. I have no right to keep her.”
“We’ll fix that.”
“How? Neal’s family might take her just to punish me. They were always threatening to take my kids. What court would let me keep a child who isn’t mine?”
“Sheisyours. I’ve seen you together. That’s your daughter. No one is taking her away.”
“But how?” I push when my panic grows.
Silas’s face turns hard and annoyed before shifting gears and softening for my benefit.
“Landry, I’m a criminal. My club runs the Valley. The law bends to our will. I plan to use my money and power to make the law bend to your needs. Get it?”
Staring into his eyes, I try to soak in his strength and confidence. Silas is a man who owns every room he enters. Ruin, Armor, and the other bikers were intimidating tough guys, but Silas didn’t bow to them. He even pushed back against his president.
If Silas says he can handle the Copper family, I need to trust his word.
