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Studying her for lies, I ask, “Did you like when I kissed you?”
“Yes. Let’s do that more, too.”
“You’re trying to distract me.”
Landry frowns at how I won’t give in to her flirting. Based on her lips’ downturned corners, she’s chosen a negative reason for why I won’t fuck her.
“Why would you put out just to get a ride?”
“Does it bother you that I’m not a better person?”
“No, it pisses me off that you weren’t treated better. People should have valued you more.”
Landry rubs her belly protectively and sighs. “I’d left home and wanted to live with my aunt. This guy had a car and the money to get me there. I knew he liked me, but he wouldn’t take me for free.”
“When was this?”
Her dark eyes fill with doom. “I feel like you’re looking for reasons to shut down your feelings. Like, if I’m awful enough, you’ll stop wanting me.”
“Why would I go through all this trouble to get you here, only to fuck things up?”
“I don’t know. Men are complicated.”
“We’re really not. We want food, respect, and pussy. Everything else is negotiable.”
I realize I’m talking to her like I would my club brothers or Goose. Exhaling softly, I try to scrub away my irritation until I’m a cuddly monster like that blue fucker in that kid’s movie—a furry fun guy who just looks terrifying. I rest on my side, trying to seem less intimidatingly large.
“When did you leave home?” I ask softly.
Landry cocks an eyebrow, not at all fooled by my more adorable demeanor. “Fourteen.”
“Why?” I ask, assuming ugly shit went down that will depress my dick.
“I was a nerdy kid,” she says, watching me like my every feature needs to be memorized for the police sketch later. “Until I hit fourteen and decided to be a rebel. I started wearing dark eyeliner and teasing up my hair. Real dumb attempts to get in good with the detention-type kids.”
“Did it work?”
“Yes. They were always bored. I think it was all the weed. They let me hang around. The guys saw fresh meat. The girls wanted someone new to whine to.”
“So, you didn’t like them?”
“No, they were great,” she says and smiles wistfully. “I loved how they didn’t give a shit. I mean, I realize now as an adult, how they did care and were only dealing with those bad feelings by acting jaded. But, back then, I felt like I was with people who were real.”
I smile at how much she sounds like me from that time. I’d been a loner as a kid. Other children annoyed me. Adults weren’t much better. I hated people in general. The first few years in school were misery. I had no friends because I hated all the other kids too much to pretend otherwise. Only when I met Goose and Hobo did I find kindred spirits. Ruin and Armor welcomed me into their little group of assholes. With them hating most people, too, I’d finally felt at home.
“Did your parents not like your friends?” I ask, thinking of my mom’s insistence that my pals—especially Ruin who she absolutely fucking hated since his dad once told her to eat shit—would lead me down a path of criminality and suffering.She was half right.
“They didn’t really care. As long as I was with my friends outside our house, they never cared who I hung around.”
“So why did you have to leave home?”
“I’d never really gotten a guy’s attention before. I mean, guys flirted with me and my nerd friends when we went out places. Grown men, mainly. I thought it was because they thought we were mature,” she says and smiles at how dumb she was once. “But I never talked to those guys. Nerds aren’t known for their fearless natures.”
Landry pauses when my hand strokes her belly. It’s the one part of her body that I can caress her without instantly implying I’m about to pound her pussy. My dick and Landry’s expectations always create too much tension from the simplest touches. But caressing her belly seems to be okay in a way kissing her can’t be.
“I was at a party at a detention kid’s house one weekend. Sort of like the party you had with the cheap wine and casual shitty sex. It was the first time a guy really came on to me up close. The way he talked and hugged me felt too familiar.”
Her lips grow tight before pouting and then getting tight again. I see Landry’s pain rising to the surface only to be shoved back down. Her gaze tells me the story of a woman who lies to herself more than anyone else.
