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I think about the cash I slipped into her purse. The plan was to do it more often. Keep her comfortable until I could make her mine. Except Landry got so freaked out about the cash that she kept her purse closely guarded afterward. She seemed to think it was a trick.
“I can’t pretend I understand why you married a loser like Neal Copper,” I explain as I study her hopeless expression. “Your life confuses the shit out of me. However, I know you did your best. I stalked you for months, Landry. I saw you struggling to make those kids happy with the little you had to work with. Don’t run yourself down over a bike. I know Blair loved the damn thing, and I get how the little bitch down the street made her feel. However, what bothers her most is how her busted bike left you beaten by that asshole.”
Landry rubs her belly as her lips turn downward and shame fills her eyes. “I couldn’t protect her.”
“That’s on him. Not you.”
“That’s easy for you to say. When you had the chance to make sure she never got hurt again, you did. But I kept trying to massage bad situations, so trouble wouldn’t touch the kids.”
“Did you want to leave him?”
Landry’s gaze holds mine as she says breathlessly, “Every day.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I had no money and four kids and Brooklyn isn’t legally mine. And Neal always said he’d take them from me. If I wanted freedom, I had to give up my babies.”
“Then, you made the right decision by staying. Leaving those kids with that piece of shit wouldn’t have ended well.”
Landry wipes her eyes and shrugs. “I want Blair to be healthy. At the clinic when they fixed her arm, the lady asked her questions. I know they were feeling out if she was being abused. I had to tell Blair beforehand to lie. How can she be healthy when her own mother wants her to protect her abuser?”
“You had to do that shit. If Child Services got involved, who the fuck knows what would have happened? Like you said, even if they decided Neal was the problem, then what? If he gets in trouble, where do you go? What happens to Brooklyn? You were right to keep the law out of it.”
“Only because in the end, you came along to fix it. I was teaching my daughter to be a victim.”
“Good Lord, Landry, you’re as mentally fucked as she is.”
Her face tightens into a pained expression before she starts sobbing.
Now, I can’t claim I haven’t made plenty of women cry over the years. If their men wronged the Steel Berserkers, I didn’t care how many women or children cried, I demanded payback for my club.
Of course, Landry isn’t the enemy. She’s my woman who’s been struggling for most of her life. My truth just rubbed fucking salt in her long-festering wounds.
I’ve never consoled a woman before. Tears gross me out. When Rosemary cried once, I left the room rather than listen to her sobs.
With Landry, I move toward the crying woman. I wrap my arms around her, hoping affection is what she craves.
Landry grips my shirt and nuzzles her face against my chest. I’m so relieved by her reaction that I don’t think to speak for a few minutes.
“I know a shrink you can talk to. She can help Blair, too.”
“How can we talk about things without getting you into trouble? Blair will need to hide what happened.”
“This shrink is loyal to the club. She won’t care if you admit to a million crimes. You can even talk shit about me. Nothing’s off-limits in her office.”
Landry wipes her cheeks and asks, “Have you ever gone to her?”
“Sure, after I found out about Kati being a fucking bitch. I wanted the shrink to explain why I was a moron.”
“What did she say?”
Frowning, I don’t want to tell Landry the truth. Except I’m not sure how great a liar I am with her. Getting caught bullshitting isn’t an option. If I prove myself a fake fuck, how can I expect her to be real?
“She claimed I was lonely and wanted something to fill the hole inside me. The problem was I tried shoving a square peg into a round hole.”
“Do you think I’m a round peg?” she asks, looking up at me with her tear-filled eyes.
“Without a doubt. We’re not so different. I tried forcing shit with Kati. You wasted time with assholes,” I say and indulge my hunger by sliding my fingers into her soft hair. My affection inspires Landry’s eyelids to flutter and a sigh to escape her lips. “But we gained something good out of knowing those garbage people. Without Kati, I wouldn’t have had a reason to build this house. Without Neal, you wouldn’t have the kids. Now that we’ve gotten what we needed from them, I’m glad the fuckers are gone.”
