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Mads moves round so she’s sitting next to me and puts her arm round me. ‘You know what? Fuck him. Fuck the bastard.’
Despite the tears, I manage a rueful smile. ‘I rather think that’s Scarlett’s job now, don’t you?’
‘Well, until he gets bored and cheats on her. Once a cheat, always a cheat.’
‘Do you really think so? As far as I know, he was completely faithful until she came along.’
‘That may be the case, but he’s got a taste for it now, hasn’t he? There’s no sex so intoxicating as illicit sex, and now he and Scarlett are no longer clandestine, I reckon it won’t be long before he goes looking for his next thrill. You’re well out of it, I reckon.’
‘I wish I could just turn my feelings off and agree with you. I hate him for what he’s done, but I also still love him. It’s such a mess in my head.’
‘Listen, by the time I’m done with you today you’re going to be so fabulous and out of his league that he’ll be kicking himself every day for the rest of his life for being such a stupid prick. Now, you go and sort yourself out while I pay the bill, and then we’ll see what other damage we can do to your bank balance, eh?’
When we finally emerge from Bluewater several hours later, darkness has fallen. If this were a cartoon, my debit card would be sweating and panting from the exertion. The bags of shopping completely fill the boot and quite a lot of the back seat of Mads’ car. I’ve got figure-hugging tops that show off my assets (34C, don’t you know), blouses, skinny jeans in a variety of colours, some new ankle-length boots that I’mverypleased with, as well as brand-new everyday underwear from M&S. Mads was very resistant to me buying new sports bras, but I pointed out that I didn’t want to be unintentionally prodding any of my patients with my breasts while I was treating them so she reluctantly gave in. I did buy a push-up and a plunge bra to experiment with, as the prices were a little less terrifying than the underwear shop, and that pacified her a bit. I’ve also got a new coat, and a very flattering brown leather jacket that would give Josh kittens.
I had a close shave in John Lewis, where Mads was all for subjecting me to an in-store makeover. Thankfully the makeover stations were all busy, so I managed to dodge that one.
‘Have you ever considered doing something different with your hair?’ she asks as she starts the car and begins to reverse out of the space.
‘Like what? What’s wrong with my ponytail?’
‘Well, I’m just wondering what you’d look like with it shorter, and maybe some highlights…’
‘Whoa, slow down there! There’s only so much change a girl can take in a single day.’
‘OK, fair enough. Think about it though?’
When we get home and bring everything in from the car, my dad watches us with amazement.
‘Good grief!’ he exclaims. ‘Did you two buy the whole shopping centre?’ My mum, meanwhile, is already in my room, taking the clothes out and laying them on the bed, experimenting with different combinations. I swear I hear her sighing with pleasure.
‘Haven’t you both done well!’ she says. ‘I bet you look fabulous in this stuff, Charlotte.’
‘I had better look fabulous, given what I’ve spent!’ I retort.
‘Christine, what do you think about Charley doing something different with her hair?’ Mads asks my mum.
‘For God’s sake, Mads! Don’t you ever let up? I said I’d think about it!’ I try to push her out of the room in feigned annoyance. In reality, I’m so delighted with my haul that she could probably suggest I shaved all my hair off and I’d listen to her right now.
‘She has got a point though, love,’ Mum says. ‘You’ve worn your hair like that for as long as I can remember and, while I’m sure it’s practical, I’m not convinced it’s making the most of your face.’
‘Will you two stop ganging up on me? Isn’t there somewhere you both need to be? Go on, shove off, the pair of you, so I can change. I’ll give you a little fashion show if you’re good.’
‘OK, I’ll leave it for now,’ Mads says, ‘as long as you let me put my stylist’s number into your phone. He’s called Paul. Ring him when you’re ready and tell him you know me. Promise?’
‘Yeah, whatever.’ I hand over my phone. ‘Just as long as it shuts you up!’
She grins and starts typing.
The rest of the evening is great fun. I try on a few outfits and parade them past my audience in the living room. Even my dad, who is totally uninterested in female fashion as a rule, agrees that I look good, and Mads causes a lot of hilarity by wolf-whistling when I come down wearing the plunge bra under a low-cut top. It’s all very flattering and does my battered self-esteem no end of good. Mads stays for dinner and, when I fall into bed later that night after she’s gone, I find I’m smiling.
Yup, definitely progress.
5
One of the good things about living with Josh for the last six years is that it’s been extremely cheap. He has no mortgage or rent to pay, so he never expected me to pay any rent either. My only outgoings, in terms of living expenses, have been my contribution to the utility and food bills. This means that I’m sitting on a substantial pot of savings, which is going to come in handy as I need to find somewhere to live. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice having my meals cooked for me and I’m enjoying Mum and Dad’s company, but I’m not a teenager any more and I need my own space at some point.
The first decision is where to look. Sevenoaks is too expensive and, ideally, I’d like to be a bit closer to work. Tunbridge Wells is a possibility. It’s a big place and, as long as I’m not too close to where Josh lives or works, I shouldn’t bump into him. The other option is Tonbridge, between the two. It’s not a town I know particularly well, but it’s closer to work than Sevenoaks, and also reasonably close to Mum and Dad if I want to pop in from time to time.
