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‘Ah well, I’ve been thinking about that and I have a plan, if you’re up for it?’
‘Go on.’
‘Well, you tell me how much detail you want to share. I’ll then give the story to Rachel, but tell her that you don’t want anyone to know yet, so she has to keep it to herself. I guarantee you that, by lunchtime, everyone will know and you won’t have had to do a thing!’
I can’t help but laugh. Rachel is one of our receptionists, and everyone likes her, but we’ve also all learned, some of us the hard way, that she’s completely incapable of keeping a secret. In fact, it’s worse than that, because she’s not above adding her own little embellishments here and there to make the story sound more interesting.
We agree what Tracey is going to tell Rachel, and then I go off to my treatment room to get ready for the first patient of the day. When I tell people what I do, their normal reaction is something along the lines of ‘Oh, I couldn’t do that. Poking around in people’s mouths – what if they have really bad breath?’ but the fact is that I love my job. It’s not just scaling and polishing, although that is a large part of what I do. I also talk with patients and give them advice on how to improve their oral hygiene. I keep detailed records and, when a patient comes back and I see an improvement, it’s very satisfying. I also really like the team I work with. We’re quite a small practice and, despite the fact that we all work in our own rooms, we’re quite a tight-knit community.
My morning patients come and go, and I lose myself in the rhythm of my work. Most of them are regulars that I’ve been treating for a few years, but there are a couple of new faces as well. There are two hygienists in our practice – me and Sue. Sue is quite a bit older than me – her oldest child is only four years younger than me – and I found her a bit overbearing when I first started here, but now we get on extremely well.
The practice is open on Saturday mornings for those patients who really can’t manage to get in during the week, so Sue and I alternate on Saturdays. When I’m working on a Saturday I get Wednesday afternoon off instead, but I have to confess the Saturday mornings are my least favourite part of the job. It’s not because I’m working when everyone else is having a weekend, it’s just that the patients we tend to get on Saturdays are so infuriating. For example, there was one guy who was actually answering emails on his phone while I was trying to do his scale and polish. I had to ask him to stop, as his arms were getting in the way of what I was doing and, from his reaction, you’d have thought the entire City of London was going to grind to a halt because his reply was delayed by twenty minutes. Last time I checked the City was still there, so I think we got away with it.
After the last patient of the morning has left, I make sure everything is ready for the afternoon session before wandering into the kitchen/staffroom to retrieve my lunch from the fridge. Since moving back home I’ve re-embraced my inner carnivore, and today I’ve got some sandwiches with leftover beef, horseradish, tomato and rocket.
Rachel has been true to form, and I’m treated to lots of compassionate nods, and the occasional ‘Sorry to hear… If there’s anything I can do…’ type of remark as the dentists and other members of staff file in and fill up the chairs around the edge of the room. Of course, we all know there’s nothing any of them can do, but it’s nice to feel supported. Carl, who joined us a couple of years ago, offers to perform a full extraction for Josh without anaesthetic, which makes me smile. As usual, I discover Rachel has gone off-piste and told them all that I caught Josh and Scarlett in the act, but I don’t have the strength to contradict her. It doesn’t really make any difference to the outcome whether I caught them or not.
While I’m eating, I fish out my phone and have a quick scroll through my Facebook feed. Since accepting the friend requests a few days ago I’ve been looking up some of my other old school friends, as well as a couple of enemies. Quite a few of them are married now, with small children that dominate their posts. One or two are divorced, and Paula, who I used to sit next to on the bus, is on husband number two. Samantha (‘Call me Sam’) Carter is in a lesbian relationship; I’m sure that’s not a surprise to anyone. I manage to find Darren Childs who, according to his profile, is living in Aberdeen. There aren’t many details and he’s not shared his relationship status. Despite my best efforts, I don’t manage to find Jennifer – I try with both her maiden name and his surname but none of the matches are her. I wonder whether she’s also in Aberdeen, or if they’ve split up. Thinking about other people’s lives is a welcome distraction from my own. I’m not remotely interested in getting in contact with Darren and won’t be sending him a friend request, but I indulge myself in an imaginary conversation with him:
‘So, Darren, how are things with Jennifer?’
‘Don’t mention her. Total bitch. I should never have done what I did to you, Charley. I’ve regretted that day ever since. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, you know?’
‘Well, you should have thought of that before sticking your dick in her mouth, shouldn’t you? You know the best thing about that day for me? It’s that it led me to Josh, who is twice the man you are. He’s never…’
Ah, damn. That didn’t go to plan.
Anyway, Facebook has generally been a good addition to my life. Quite a few of my friends are still in the area, and we’re trying to plan a meet-up in one of the pubs we used to go to. It’s proving more challenging to organise than when we were young, as it’s got to be fitted in round jobs and childcare, but it seems from the latest round of messages that next Thursday evening is looking promising. That’ll be something to look forward to.
The afternoon follows broadly the same pattern as the morning. I have one new patient who, from the look of his teeth, has managed to live his whole life to date without coming into contact with a toothbrush, bamboo or otherwise. He’s seeing the dentist after me, and I think Carl will have to take most of his teeth out (hopefully with anaesthetic), but I do what I can for him. I think we’ll be seeing a lot of him over the next few months.
My last patient of the day is Mrs Mills. According to Rachel, she’s a powerhouse of the local community, regularly terrorising both the governors and PTA at the local school, as well as dominating the parish council. As I don’t live in the area, I have to take Rachel’s word for it, but I find it hard to marry up the forceful woman that she describes with the one that I treat. Put simply, Mrs Mills’ Achilles heel is that she’s terrified of the dental chair. We always put her last on the schedule so I can spend extra time with her if I need to.
By the time I’ve coaxed her into my room, checked her medical history and whether she’s had any issues since the last appointment, and got her settled in the chair with a bib and protective glasses on, we’re already ten minutes into her thirty-minute appointment. I’m always extra careful to explain to her what I’m doing at every stage, to demystify it and reassure her.
‘OK, Louise, so first of all I’m going to check your gums. You might feel a bit of pressure from the probe. If it gets uncomfortable in any way just let me know and I’ll stop so you can have a minute. All right?’
‘Yes. Wait! Is the probe sterile?’
‘Yes, Louise. Remember what I told you last time? Everything we use is sterilised in an autoclave, which kills all bacteria. You’re quite safe.’
The rest of the appointment follows the same pattern and, by the time she leaves, nearly an hour later, everyone apart from Tracey and me has packed up for the day and left.
‘How was it?’ Tracey asks me.
‘Well, Rachel came up trumps!’ I smile at her. ‘Carl even offered to take all Josh’s teeth out for me. Might have made a pretty necklace I suppose.’
‘Nice idea. A little medieval for my tastes, but whatever floats your boat. I’ve sorted cover for your holiday by the way.’
‘Oh brilliant, thanks so much! I haven’t been abroad in years, and I can’t wait to soak up a bit of sun.’
‘You’re more than welcome. Do you mind if I make an observation?’
Uh-oh. Where’s she going to go with this?
‘Go on…’
‘Well, I know you and Josh were childhood sweethearts and all, but I couldn’t help wondering, the last few months, whether he was actually making you happy. You just seemed, I don’t know, a bit like Tigger when he lost his bounce. I know the whole break-up, and him playing away, was shit, but there’s a sparkle in your eyes today that I haven’t seen for a while.’
