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So much for acting normally, then.
When Mr Holdsworth finally appears, my heart goes into my mouth. I force myself to wait thirty minutes, so everyone doesn’t see me dash into his office the moment he arrives. My hands are trembling as I take the envelope out of my bag, walk across the office, and knock on his door. He’s been a kind of father figure to me, work wise, since I’ve been here, and I hate the idea of disappointing him.
‘Come in, Daisy. How are you?’ He studies me as I take a seat opposite him, and his voice takes on a note of concern. ‘Are you okay? You’ve looked better, if I may say.’
I decide to build up gradually, which will hopefully soften the blow and reduce the chance of him throwing me out of his office in disgust. To be fair to him, I’ve never known him raise his voice in all the years I’ve been here, but nobody’s ever resigned in that time either. Holdsworth & Speke is like a family; we stick together.
‘Do you remember, when I first inherited the café, you expressed concern that it might all be too much for me?’ I ask him.
‘I do, and I have to say I’m still concerned. Although Rob tells me your work continues to be excellent, you’ve been looking exhausted. I was going to try to have a chat with you about it this week, to see if there was anything we could do to make things easier for you. I know we’re your employers, but we also have a duty of care towards you. I’m guessing, from the fact that you’ve pre-empted me, that things have come to a head?’
‘I’m afraid they have, Mr Holdsworth. I think I have to make a choice.’
‘I see. And would I be right in thinking, from the envelope in your hand, that you’ve made that choice?’
‘I’m so sorry. You know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and…’
‘I’d like you to stop speaking now, if you don’t mind,’ he says, cutting me off.
Here we go. Here comes the part where he tears me off a strip for being an ungrateful little bitch who doesn’t know not to bite the hand that’s fed her for the last six years. I brace myself for the onslaught and focus on trying not to cry. I know I’ve made the right decision, but right now, I hate myself for letting Mr Holdsworth down.
‘I’m going to ask you to trust me, Daisy,’ he continues, and I look at him in astonishment. Is he not going to rip into me, after all? ‘Tell me, are you up to date with your work?’
‘Yes, I think so. I’ve got a couple of loose ends to tie up on the Watson’s accounts before I make a start on KitchenMaster, but that shouldn’t take long.’
‘How long do you need?’
‘A couple of hours, no more.’
‘Can you come and see me again when you’ve finished them, before you start the KitchenMaster ones?’
‘Yes, absolutely.’
‘I’ll see you later then. Oh, and Daisy…’
‘Yes, Mr Holdsworth?’
‘Shred that letter, would you?’
I find it very hard to concentrate on the Watson’s accounts, as I’m trying to watch Mr Holdsworth surreptitiously. I have no idea what he’s up to, but he makes a few calls, and then he and our HR person, Rebecca Hitchins, have a long meeting with Mr Speke. In fact, I finish the Watson’s accounts before their meeting ends, so I have to spend at least an hour trying to look busy without actually doing anything. He specifically told me not to start work on the next client, so I’m at a bit of a loose end. Eventually, the meeting ends, so I email the Watson’s accounts to Rob and cross the office floor once more.
‘Ah, Daisy. Have you finished?’
‘Yes, Mr Holdsworth.’
‘Good. Come in and take a seat. I’m just going to ask Rebecca to join us, if you don’t mind?’ He places a call, and Rebecca comes into his office a minute or so later, with a sheaf of papers under her arm. She shuts the door behind her.
‘Thank you for your patience, Daisy. I’m not going to beat about the bush, if that’s okay. The fact is that we have a bit of a problem. You see, you and Grace are both senior accounting technicians, as you’re aware.’
‘Yes.’
‘Mr Speke and I have been looking at the company structure and, on the technicians’ side, it’s become plain to us that we’re top heavy. Realistically, we only have capacity for one senior accounting technician, do you understand?’
Oh, fuck. He’s going to fire me. I know I was going to resign anyway, but this is a cruel way to punish me for my disloyalty. I can feel tears pricking and, before I’m able to stop myself, a couple escape and run down my cheeks. Mr Holdsworth notices them. Nothing has ever got past him.
‘I’m really sorry, Daisy, but we’re going to have to make your position redundant. This is not something we’ve decided lightly, because our little company feels like a family and we’ve never had to do anything like this before. As of now, we are going to place you on gardening leave, on full pay, for a month. This is a consultation period, while we try to see if there is another role you can fill within our team. You are also free to make suggestions if you think there is another role that might suit you. At the end of the month, if we haven’t been able to think of anything, we will make you redundant, but we will give you what I hope you will agree is a generous package. Do you have any questions while Rebecca is here?’
I don’t get it. Why is he making me redundant and effectively giving me money to go away when I was going to resign anyway? Nothing makes sense here. I do need to clarify one thing, though.
