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Swiping the tears away from my eyes, I nod my thanks, my throat too choked up to get any words out. Looking at each of them, I pause on Riggs, his expression still closed off. He looks back at me, inhaling loudly, before he opens his mouth to speak.
“Did you try to drink and drive?” His monotone voice makes me freeze, it’s the same tone he used on me the first time we met.
“N-no. I started drinking here, I guess you saw the empty bottle, and so I took an Uber to a neighbourhood as close to the bridge as I could. I spent a few hours while Rhys was in Declan’s room researching places like that. Secluded and quiet so that when I followed the urge to take that plunge, no one would have to be traumatized by what they saw.” Hanging my head, I grip the counter to rein in my emotions, the pain of the edge cutting into my palm helping clear my head. “I would never drink and drive though. Especially not right after you told me about Hannah.”
The relief that washes over him makes my heart stop in my chest. The fact that he’s been thinking I almost ended up exactly like his sister, less than a day after he told me about her is tearing my heart right open. The trauma for him was two fold, it was Hannah and Declan’s deaths rolled into one. The last thing I wanted to do was cause anyone anymore stress, pain, or trauma, and I ended up reopening one of the worst memories for one of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m such a shit person.
“Fuck, Riggs.” My voice cracks with so much emotion. “Shit, you have no idea how sorry I am for making you think that. We moved my car to a lot down the road a couple days ago since there was scheduled street cleaning and I never brought it back. It never even crossed my mind that you guys would think that.”
Riggs moves around the island, pulling me into his arms tightly. He kisses the top of my head, earning a grunt from one of the other guys. Blushing at all the attention, I turn into his chest and soak in the scent of him. It settles everything inside of me, making me feel at home.
“Break it up!” Adam pushes between us, throwing his arm around me and moving me away from the big guy. Rhys chuckles, shaking his head at their territorial bullshit over me.
The feminist part of me is balking at the two of them thinking they can dictate who I hug or touch at any given time, but the sad, lonely girl inside of me is just thrilled to be touched by people I trust at all. Deciding to push past the bickering, I sit on a stool which Rhys slides some fruit, eggs, and toast in front of.
“What were you guys talking about before I came in?” I ask in between mouthfuls of deliciousness. My stomach definitely needed this after just vodka yesterday.
“The notebooks,” Riggs answers first, sitting beside me and shooting Adam a smug grin.
“Oh? Did you go through them again?”
“I did,” Rhys murmurs, drinking his coffee and leaning against the counter beside the stove. “I think you’re right and we’re definitely missing some. Especially if the arson is connected to the stalking, there has to be some kind of escalation that we missed. It’s a big jump.”
“Do you have any idea where they might be?” I ask, pushing my mostly empty plate away. The thought that they could be connected didn’t even cross my mind. They’re in two completely separate places.
“None yet,” Adam answers, taking my plate away to clean it off. “None of us like the missing pieces though.”
We sit silent for a little bit, each of us absorbing the information. I don’t like missing pieces either because it means whoever this is, is way more prepared than us. Being at a disadvantage with someone completely unknown who seems to have ill intentions could very well get us all hurt, or worse, killed.
“We should compile the information we do have like the gifts, notebooks, and whatnot. There has to be a connecting piece we’re just not seeing.” Rhys rubs a hand down his face, his tired gaze looking angry and frustrated.
"I've been thinking about that," Riggs says, scratching his beard in thought. "Lay, do you still have the first letter from J?"
"The first letter?" My brows draw together as I sort through all the gunk in my head. "Fuck, there was a first letter wasn't there?"
Riggs nods at me, concern for me pulling his face into a frown. "Yeah, from the funeral. You really didn't remember?"
Burying my head in my hands, I shake my head back and forth exaggeratedly. Knowing what happened, I look back up sheepishly, embarrassed that my memory problems need to be addressed.
"It was a difficult day for me and when I get into intense emotional situations, I tend to forget everything but the main stressor. My therapist says it's completely normal with my depression, anxiety, and c-ptsd." I shrug, releasing a heavy breath. "I didn't even think to let you guys know about it because it's not something that comes up much. I've learned ways to work around it when I had the bar, but sometimes it happens without me even knowing."
"It's okay, Lay. The same thing happens to me sometimes." Rhys rubs a hand down my back, always the first to try to reassure me and make me feel better. "I forgot an entire cheesecake meant for Adam's birthday in the car once for like twenty three hours when I was super stressed out. It's okay you don't remember."
"Thanks, Rhys." I grab his other hand and give it a thankful squeeze.
"I wanted that damn cheesecake too! He didn't remember until he went to take it out after dinner. The smell in that trunk was horrific," Adam complains, his nose crinkled in disgust.
"Get over it already, dude. Let's get back to compiling the evidence," Rhys demands, taking control over the group again.
"If you forgot about the note, I'm guessing it's still in the backseat of your car?" Riggs questions.
"The wastelands of my car? Yeah, probably. Right along with that first set of flowers." I grimace at the thought, I really hope they became crispy dead and not mushy dead.
"If you're okay with it, I'll grab that note in a bit so I can photocopy it and then put it in a couple different places with the second one. I'm really hoping more don't show up, but if they do you need to let one of us know. Don't try to do this on your own."
Riggs stares at me to let me know he means business so I do a scouts honour hand gesture then cross my heart dramatically. Rhys chuckles under his breath, setting Adam off beside him.
"She's so sassy," Adam says in a mock-whisper to Rhys. "I love it."
