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“Okay,” I whisper back, the tightness in my chest loosens with that one word. The thought of fully letting the three overbearing, protective assholes into my heart making me sigh with content instead of dismay.
“Okay,” Adam repeats, pulling away from me as he gets down from the ledge.
He holds out a hand, helping me down from the ledge. Both literally and figuratively.
Instead of having me stumble down the hill, Adam picks me up in his arms bridal style. Walking down the road, back to the other two, I nestle my head under his chin and soak in his scent. Just when I thought I had the signs from the universe figured out, it blindsides me in the most unexpected way. I’ve spent so much of my life holding people at arm’s length, terrified of being used and abused again. That all changed the moment that I met these three men that care so much about me, they tracked me down in the middle of nowhere to save me.
Reaching the car, I lift my head to look at the other two broken puzzle pieces that seem to fit me so perfectly. Riggs pulls me from Adam’s arms, crushing me to his chest in a desperate hug that breaks the dam on my emotions. A loud sob tears from my throat just as I’m transferred to Rhys’ strong, reassuring arms. He’s shaking as he holds me, a sob wracking his body as well.
“Don’t you ever do that to us again,” he chokes out, hiding his face in my hair. “God, Lay. I died a thousand times today thinking we wouldn’t find you in time. Please, don’t ever do that again.”
“I promise,” I whisper, my tears soaking his light blue t-shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Rhys hugs me tighter as another set of arms comes around from the back. Riggs steps up beside us, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head. We stand like that forever, just soaking in each other.
“Thank you for saving me from myself,” I murmur into Rhys, my voice coming out soft and weak from the day I’ve had. Normally I would balk at the idea of being like this in front of them, but they’ve all officially seen me at my worst and still chose to stay. They pulled me into their ragtag family and accepted me, imperfections and all. There’s no use in worrying over something stupid like vulnerability when they’re all very quickly becoming the most important people in my life.
“Can we go home now?”
Adam nuzzles the back of my hair as Rhys answers with a beaming smile. “Yeah. Let’s get you home, baby.”
Climbing into the back seat with Riggs, I buckle up and immediately lay my head on his shoulder. He reaches over, clasping my hand in his tightly as if he’s afraid I’m going to run away again. Moving as close as I can, I reassure him with my touch that I’m here and from this point on, I’m not leaving them.
Once the car starts moving, it doesn’t take long until the rumble of the engine and the swaying movements puts me to sleep. Just as I’m fading, I swear I hear Riggs whisper into my hair on a kiss. “Stay with us, Lay. We need you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Alayna
The pounding in my head is so bad, it’s forcing me awake long before I’m ready. The day before comes rushing in the moment consciousness takes over, making me bury my head under the covers in shame.
How could I have let myself get to that point? I’ve had some pretty fucking low moments, but yesterday takes the cake. Never have I been so close to giving up my entire life. There’s so much left to do and so much I have left to experience, yet I tried to throw it all away like it meant nothing. I’m stronger than that, I have to be. Taking my own life is letting every shitty thing that happened to me in life win.
Life has beaten me down time and time again, but I have and will always get back up. The bar burning down was a door closing on me and now I’m taking my fucking sledgehammer and opening a new one. Preferably with the three men that literally saved my life last night.
Thinking about the three of them, and how they’ve wormed their way into my usually impassable bubble, brings a smile to my lips. The three of them have all but declared feelings for me and the feelings are completely mutual. But holy hell, three men? What the fuck would I even do with all of them?
Adam said to give life with them a chance. My head is telling me to be cautious, but my heart and pussy are both already all in. An embarrassing high-pitched squeal of excitement comes from me, the giddiness of having three men around me who all want to be with and protect me is overwhelming. Even though I had one of the worst days of my life yesterday, the world seems brighter than ever.
Getting out of bed slowly so as to not disturb my head too much, I grab some clothes so I can have a shower and get the residual alcohol smell off of me. It feels odd just getting up and moving on like I didn’t almost commit suicide and yet I don’t know what else to do. The world is still spinning and I’m still here, so getting ready to face the day is all I can do.
There’s a couple things I need to do today, like reschedule with Declan’s lawyer, call the insurance company, and then try to figure out what the fuck happened. First things first though, when I feel more human, a call to my therapist is a good idea. I’m due for another session anyways and after last night, it’s much needed.
The shower feels like heaven as the heat loosens my muscles and the water washes away the remnants of last night.The smell of vodka is replaced by my lavender body wash, the scent swirling around me, calming my mind, body, and soul. There’s something so comforting about the scent of lavender, it’s always been my go to whenever I need help sleeping, calming my anxiety, or just to relax me after a stressful day.
When I’ve used enough of the hot water, I drag myself out and dress in a comfortable pair of worn in black jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt. French braiding my hair so it’s out of my face, I head towards the kitchen in search of some food. The kitchen is full with three dangerously handsome men that remind me what it’s like to be cared for and about. Leaning against the wall beside the kitchen entrance, I stare unabashedly at them all.
“Hey, Lay. You going to join us or just stand in the hallway like a creeper?” Adam yells out, causing all eyes to turn to me. Rhys looks relieved to see me while Riggs’ face is shuttered, no emotions showing.
“Sorry,” I apologize awkwardly, walking the rest of the way into the kitchen. “I just didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re okay. Did you need some food? Here’s some Tylenol, I’ll grab you a glass of orange juice to take them.” Rhys jumps into caretaker mode, his over helpfulness making guilt surface.
Shuffling my feet, I take a deep breath and get out the apology that they deserve. “I am so sorry that I did that to all of you yesterday. After what you all went through with Declan, that was selfish, stupid, and wrong of me. No matter what I’ve gone through, attempting suicide was the absolute last thing I should have done. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing it to get that far.”
“It’s okay, Lay. Sometimes when we’re struggling it’s hard to see less volatile options. You didn’t do it though and I don’t think you were actually going to. It took us so long to find you, you covered your tracks fairly well. You must have been sitting on the bridge for hours by the time we got there. But you didn’t jump.” Rhys says, placing his hand over mine on the counter. “You chose to live long before we got there, you just needed an extra hand removing the option completely.”
“You did what Declan forgot to do,” Adam adds, his tone somber and serious. “You fought yourself on that bridge and didn’t let the mental illness win. You did that, not us.”
