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My talk with Rhys has been rolling around in my head for the past hour and a half. My mind has been replaying every word he said and attaching memories with every sweet thing. He’s right, my reactions are more of a triggered response than any actual coherent thoughts. All the cruel words said to me growing up about how utterly worthless and pathetic I am was flooding me.
Part of me wonders how I can be a good mom if I’ve never seen it modelled for me, but people break abusive parenting cycles all the time. I know a lot of what not to do, and that can be as much of a lesson as seeing what should be done. Plus, I’m not alone in this. Rhys, Riggs, and Adam would all make up the things that I’m lacking. Maybe having a baby with the three men I love isn’t as terrifying as I’ve been making it out to be.
My body is fidgety, the fight we all had filling me with tons of shame and anxiety. If I had approached them to have a discussion instead of hiding in my emotions, that would have gone far different than it did. Whether I meant to or not, I hurt the three people that mean the most to me, and that guilt is eating me alive. They deserved more of a talk than I gave them.
Tossing on one of Rhys’ sweaters over my sleep tank, I slip out of his room, heading towards Riggs’ room first. Rhys is probably in the living room still, watching TV or something. He would come with me to talk to the other two, but I want to privately talk to them like I did him before I ask to speak to all of them together. Adam was the most angry out of the guys, so he’s definitely not my first stop.
Knocking on Riggs’ door, I wait like a shamed child, chewing on my thumb nail anxiously. A shirtless Riggs answers the door, his tattoos fully on display and his blonde hair a mess. I stare for a moment, my mouth a little dry at the sight of him. When he sees that it’s me, he immediately reaches for me, pulling me against his chest and kissing the top of my head.
“I’m sorry,” I speak softly, breaking the silence of our embrace. “Everything that happened earlier was not how it was supposed to go down. I let my emotions get the best of me, and that wasn’t fair to any of you.”
“It’s okay, Lay. It’s not exactly a situation we planned for, and it’s an emotional thing no matter which way you spin it.” Riggs brushes my hair back from my face and kisses me softly on the lips. “We are all going to be here for you no matter what. I love you, and I know the other two do as well. Adam doesn’t always have the easiest time with his emotions either. He gets blinded by his own shit sometimes. You standing up to him is what he needed, even if he didn’t show it to you. None of us have to go through this pregnancy which makes it your decision, not ours.”
“I think,” I start, pausing to suck in a deep breath before I cry. “I think I want to go through with the pregnancy. I talked to Rhys earlier as well, and he helped me realize that this reaction is not based on who I am as a person, but actually from the trauma of my past. Too many times that trauma and those people have stopped me from living my life. I’ve lost years of myself to them, and I don’t want that anymore. This is my life, and I want to start living it. I want to have this baby with you guys.”
Riggs opens his mouth to speak, a huge smile on his face. I put a hand over it, shaking my head with a smile of my own. “Don’t say anything yet. Let’s go to the living room to get Rhys, and then I want to speak to Adam privately as well. We can celebrate once everyone hears the news.”
“Got it,” Riggs’ murmurs, grinning from ear to ear. “Let me go and put on a shirt. I’ll meet you in the living room.”
Smiling, I kiss him once then glide to the living room almost like I’m on a cloud. Telling one of the guys my decision has solidified it for me. It’s no longer a thought inside my head, it’s a promise made to one of my men. We’re going to have a baby, and instead of fear like before, I’m filled to the brim with unbridled joy.
Stepping into the living room, I look around for Rhys, confused when I don’t see any sign of him. Before I can turn to find him, I’m grabbed from behind, a cold, wet blade pressed to my throat. The smell of bad breath and cheap lavender lotion assault my nose, turning my stomach with the realization of what’s happening.
“Pretty Little Layna,” Kevin whispers in my ear, the wet, disgusting feel of his tongue running along my earlobe moments later. “It feels so fucking good to have you against me at last. While this isn’t how I imagined our reunion, it seems your boyfriends couldn’t keep it in their fucking pants and forced my hand early. You see, I had it all planned out! My plan went perfectly with Declan, but you? You kept fucking it up. You couldn’t keep your whore hands to yourself, and now here we are. I have to up my timeline now, your sweet torture but a dream. We can’t have that parasite in you complicating things further, now can we?”
“What?” I gasp, grabbing onto his arm as he pushes the knife harder against my neck. Kevin moves around my body slightly before pulling back and punching me hard in the stomach, making me cry out in pain. Riggs walks in at the moment, his face going pale with fear.
“Don’t say a fucking word, you good for nothing whore!” Kevin screams at me, his hand holding the knife shaking and nicking me slightly. When he sees Riggs, he smiles, his anger simmering back down. “Oh, look! Another one of your boyfriends. This one may take a bit longer to kill than the last one did.”
A choked sob catches in my throat, tears pouring down my face. Everything in me wants to rebel at the idea that he killed Rhys or Adam, but the maniacal laugh has my blood running cold. Riggs doesn’t move a muscle, his eyes on me and Kevin, a calculating look in his eyes. I want to scream at him to leave, to get away and just let Kevin have me. The problem is it’s not just me anymore. It’s me and our baby. That’s if Kevin’s hit didn’t take that away from us.
There has to be a way to get out of this without further injury to me and with all of my men safe. Riggs is accounted for, but the other two are not. One of them is even possibly dead. What the fuck did I get all of us into? If they’re dead, it’s my fault. Kevin is attacking them because of me, and that’s something I will never forgive myself for.
“If you want to kill another one of us, you’ll have to let go of Alayna to do it.” Riggs cracks his neck, stepping forward slowly. “So why don’t you take that knife off of her neck and come after me. You’re obviously the superior man here, so let’s go.”
Kevin laughs again, shoving his face in my hair and shaking his head. “You think I’m fucking stupid, don’t you? Don’t fucking move or I’ll slit her throat right now.” Riggs stops moving at his words, his eyes shifting to the knife then back up to Kevin. “You see, you have it all wrong. You think I want to take Little Layna out of here alive. Oh, no no. She’s going to die tonight, just like you are, your fucking whore’s child, and your little disabled buddy. No one is walking out of here alive except for me.”
Riggs and I look at each other, pain tearing through both of us as he confirms that Rhys is— FUCK! That Rhys is dead. Even thinking it has me breaking down, my screams of anguish ringing out through the house. Riggs tries to calm me down, his heartbroken, panicky voice calling out over Kevin’s screams at me to shut up. Nothing works, my body goes into fight mode, and all bets are off.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Kevin screams, slamming his hand against my back and pushing me into the knife again. Blood drips down my throat, the sting of a shallow cut fuelling my rage and heartache.
“Baby, please! LAY! You need to calm down,” Riggs cries out, tears falling down his cheeks. “Please, baby! You’ve already been cut, the more you fight the more he’s pushing down. Lay. Lay, please. I can’t lose you!”
Instead of heeding Riggs’ words, I put my years of self-defense to use and get ready to fucking end this. The thing is, we can make another baby, but there will never be any more of us. Rhys is fucking gone, this asshole taking him from me, and I will make him pay for that. He doesn’t get to take him from me. This is fucking ending, and I’ll be damned if it’s anyone but him lying in a pool of their own blood.
Stopping my frantic fighting, I look at Riggs, apologizing with my eyes for what I’m about to do. “I love you,” I breathe out each word, putting all my love and guilt into those three words. Throwing my head back hard, I feel his teeth hit into the back of my head, cutting me open and making him gasp in pain. His grip loosens enough for me to get a better head butt in, his nose crunching against my skull as he falls backwards. Before I can pull away, he’s back on me, his knife impaling me through my bicep.
Kicking him hard, I drag myself away with one arm, Riggs throwing himself between Kevin and I to help me get away. Feet come into view, arms grabbing for me as I finally make out Rhys in front of me. He looks bad with blood covering his swollen, battered face and dirt all over his clothes. Crying out, I lose my grip on Riggs as Rhys pulls me away from the fight breaking out on the floor.
Holding onto Rhys with one arm, I scream Riggs’ name as Kevin pulls out a gun from the waistband of his pants. The room gets painfully quiet as Kevin points his gun at Riggs, an unhinged, raving mad look in his eyes.
“No, please. You want me, not them. Just kill me and leave them alone. Kevin!” I scream, drawing his attention to me as I pull completely away from Rhys, ignoring his protests. “You want to kill me, remember? This whole thing is about Declan and I, right? You got Declan, now it’s my turn. You don’t need to kill them. I’m right here!TAKE YOUR FUCKING SHOT, YOU COWARD!”
My words echo across the house, my guys rushing towards me as the sound of two gun shots ring out in quick succession. The air rushes out of my lungs as Kevin drops to the ground, blood pooling on his clothes from a wound on his arm and one of his legs. Adam steps out from the dark hallway, a gun in his shaking hand.
Kevin screams in pain just before he passes out completely on the floor. His chest is still rising and falling, the shots enough to put him into shock, but not enough to kill him outright. Riggs and Rhys get to me moments before Adam does, all of them surrounding me as I break down and cry that it’s finally over.
“Thank fucking god,” Riggs curses, checking over Rhys and I thoroughly before turning to Adam. “I tried to get you your shot earlier, I didn’t realize he also had a gun.”
