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“Not with Kevin back,” I say softly, fighting back tears of frustration. “If he has his wish, we’ll all be gone long before our time. Maybe even before the babies can safely get here.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Adam angrily declares, shaking his head at the idea. “He will not touch a hair on any of our heads. With that prick of a detective gone AWOL, we have someone a fuck ton more capable running shit now. He’ll catch the bastard and if he doesn’t, I will and I’ll go full fucking vigilante.”

Rhys sighs at Adam’s declaration and lays his forehead against my belly. Adam’s phone rings from the living room before Rhys can speak what’s on his mind. Heading off to grab it, he kisses me softly on the temple and leaves the room.

I start stroking Rhys’ hair instinctively while he kisses and nuzzles my bump. Part of me, the part driven by my trauma, feels like I should be uncomfortable with him being this affectionate with my stomach, since it’s a different type of physical affection that I’m not used to. The bigger part of me is basking in these touches because I know they come from his love, not only for me, but for the twins as well.

“No one will hurt you or these babies.” Rhys pushes up from his knees and holds my face gently. “None of us will allow it. Though we will have to put a leash on Adam because I don’t doubt that he would become a vigilante, which won’t do any of us any good.”

“I’m trying so hard to be excited for our growing family, but I’m fucking terrified,” I confess, leaning into Rhys’ chest and closing my eyes. “I feel like the longer this goes on with Kevin, the higher the chances are that one, or all, of us will get hurt. What are bringing these kids into? What kind of trauma am I setting them up for before they’re even born?”

“I have the same thoughts going through my head,” Rhys admits, his chin resting on top of my head. “But what gets me through these moments of fear, is the fact that I’m not alone in this. None of us are alone. There’s strength in numbers and we have that in spades. Not just us, but those around us that we love. He is one mentally ill man and while he can come for us, we will not let him take any of us.”

“You’re right, we’re in this together. No matter what, we’ll protect each other and we’ll keep our family safe.” I pull back to look at Rhys, taking in his handsome face. The neatly trimmed beard he wears accentuates his strong jaw, and his long, loose blonde hair gives him a soft, masculine look. “I love you, Rhys.”

“I love you, Alayna. Our family will get through this, no matter what.” He cups my jaw, looking deep into my eyes as he continues. “I promise to love these children as fiercely as I love you. I’m going to protect them as passionately as I protect you. And above all, I promise to be there for them as resolutely as you are for everyone you love. There’s nothing we can’t do as long as we’re together.”

“Well shit, I can’t top that sappy shit.” Adam bursts into the room, breaking the moment in typical Adam fashion. He comes over, spinning me out of Rhys’ arms and into his. “I have to run to work, unfortunately. How about tonight we all go out for dinner to celebrate the house? I’ve already texted Riggs and he’s in. What do you say?”

“I’m in.” I nod enthusiastically.

“Good,” he answers, kissing me softly. “I love you. Stay safe while I’m gone. Oh, and text Riggs when you get a moment. He wants to hear about the babies’ developments.”

Smiling, I kiss him back and assure him I will. Adam grabs his keys and shoes, practically running out the door to get to the community center. Rhys isn’t far behind him in leaving for work. I assure him as well that I’ll be safe here.

There’s work I need to do as well so a nice quiet house is just what I need. Well, quiet in the sense that there’s no one else in the house to bother with my loud music and paperwork. Connecting my phone to the bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, I start up my pop punk playlist and head to grab my supplier portfolio.

It’ll be nice to go out with all of my guys tonight and try to celebrate the good things that are still happening despite the bad. We can’t ever have normalcy while Kevin stalks us, waiting for his opportunity to strike, but we can still live and cherish the good moments. It’s a nice reminder that no matter what he does, he can’t take those from us.

On my way back to the kitchen, I stop when I pass Declan’s old room. Most of the items are still sitting there, boxed up from when we tried to clear it out to make a nursery. Placing my hand on the door, I lay my head against it and close my eyes tightly. It feels like a lifetime ago that I stepped into this room, devastated that the only boy I had ever loved was gone.

The woman who stepped into this house looking for Declan is not the same woman I am today. If you put both of us in a room together, I’m not even sure I would recognize her. I think the person I used to show to the world was just a mask I put on so I didn’t have to deal with myself or my past. The mask was a shield between me and the world around me, just like the one Declan wore for so long. If only we could have seen that the shields were keeping out the good just as much as the bad.

Maybe I would have come to find him sooner. Maybe he would have chosen a different path. We’ll never know now.

Inhaling deeply, I push away from the door and continue on to the kitchen. The what if’s in life will tear you apart if you think about them too long. There’s nothing that can be changed about the past, it is what it is. All I can do is be thankful that I’m finally able to shed the mask and just be me.

I’ve spent far too long being a shell of myself and hating myself for things that were never in my control. For the first time in my life, instead of seeing scars, failures, and vulnerability when I look in the mirror, all I see is me. I’m not perfect, but I now see the strength in my imperfections.

Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Adam

Lockingthedoorbehindme, I head out of my office and pull my phone out of my pocket. Half of my day was just dealing with crisis after crisis, while the other half was planning out a hopelessly romantic evening for Lay with Rhys and Riggs. It was an odd combination of light and dark, kind of like an ode to the rest of the shit in our lives right now.

Checking the group chat between myself, Riggs, and Rhys, I smile at the picture of the present that Rhys ran out to get this afternoon. The necklace is a long, delicate white gold chain with a white gold crescent moon pendant that has four sapphires along the outside curve of the moon. It’s going to look stunning around Lay’s neck. Rhys did a good job picking it out for her.

“Have a good night, Adam!” Jade calls out from the front desk. Nodding absentmindedly in her direction, I go through the rest of my notifications as I head out to the parking lot.

Juliette left for the day about an hour ago, leaving only Jade, myself, and our two maintenance employees, Jasper and Vernon. We don’t schedule any activities or counsellors for Thursday or Friday afternoons so that we can focus more on maintenance and issues that have arisen throughout the week before the weekend since that’s the busiest time for our community activity coordinators.

It’s strange that Jade is still there considering she should have left for the day already. She was only scheduled until four thirty and that came and went about half an hour ago. Normally I would lock up the main entrance on my way out, but I guess I’ll notify maintenance to do so once she’s out of the building. They’re thankfully still around until six thirty to give them time to do repairs without other people around. That means I don’t have to wait around or usher Jade out of the fucking building to make it home on time.

Riggs has been home with Lay for a couple hours now, helping her finish up sorting through quotes from possible suppliers so that she can start getting ready for our date without the weight of her work still sitting on her shoulders.

Rhys was going to be stuck at the office for another half an hour due to a late meeting, but he’ll be home by about six tonight leaving us plenty of time to get to our seven o’clock reservations. We’ve planned for as many things going wrong as we could, and not even an hour after I made the reservation at the restaurant, Rhys got the notification he would be running late.

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