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Thesoundofmyhands hitting the steering wheel fills the car as I take out all of my anger and frustration on the smooth leather. Rhys is right, I need to prove to Lay I can do better. I can earn her trust and show her that I love her. In the moment, I truly thought what I was doing was what needed to be done to protect my family. In reality, it was a purely selfish need to ease my own anxiety and find some control in my life.
Alayna is now laid up in the hospital with our two premature babies in the NICU. She wants nothing to do with me and I don't blame her. When she tried to take a bullet for us, I was so angry at her for being careless with her own life as if she meant nothing. How could I turn around and do the same thing?
My life means something to the people that love me and I spit in their faces by trying to be a fucking hero.
The obsession took over my every thought. I don't think I've properly slept in weeks because I needed to find him. I needed to stop him. Now, it's all biting me in the ass while that psycho still runs around trying to terrify her. He stalks and hunts her, more than any of us ever realized. His obsession with Alayna is the only thing that rivalled my obsession to finding him. It's unnatural and psychotic for him, and it's no different for me either.
Turning my key in the ignition, I pull out of the parking garage before asking the Bluetooth to call Lay. It takes three long rings before her beautiful, angry voice comes over the car speaker.
"What, Hudson?"
"I'm sorry," I say, jumping straight to the point. "I'm sorry I've been a complete and utter dumbass the past few weeks. I'm sorry I stopped being the man you could trust. What I did was purely selfish and there's nothing I can do to take back what's been done. I want to do better, Lay. Will you give me a chance?"
"I want to," she answers softly, her voice cracking with pain. "How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you're sincere? Hudson, you broke apart the foundation of our relationship. I can't get over that easily."
"I know, Lay. I won't stop trying to fix the foundation. To build it stronger and more unbreakable than ever," I vow to her, wanting so badly to see her face as I do. "I love you, Alayna Morgan. I love you so much. Let me try to fix what I broke."
"Hudson," Lay whispers with a sniffle. “I want to, I really do. I’m scared, though. What if I can never forgive you?”
“As long as you promise to try, I can’t ask for anything more,” I state, trying to blink back the tears in my eyes. “Just give me a chance, sweetheart. Please?”
“Okay,” she replies, sniffling through the phone. “I’ll give you another chance. Please, don’t break my heart.”
“I won’t, sweetheart. I promise.”
There's a sudden pop under the brakes, the pedal suddenly too easily moved. My knuckles are white as they clench around the steering wheel as I do my best not to freak out. The car is going too fast to coast to a stop and the turning coming up is far too sharp for the speed I'm going.
Fuck, I’m about to break my promise to her.
"Lay," I whisper her name like a plea, trying not to panic her as the turn comes up and I fail to slow my car down. Rushing to get everything out, I speak quickly. "I love you. I need you to remember that. Always remember how much I love you."
"Hudson, what's going on? You sound scared." Lay panics, the plea and tears in my voice a dead giveaway.
"My brakes aren't working and I'm at the turn off of the back roads behind our house. I can't slow d—
Alayna
The screeching, crunching sound of metal hitting metal fills the phone. Hudson's voice cuts out at the same time just before the call drops. A feral scream tears from my throat so viciously I almost can't believe it's mine.
Hudson. Oh god, no! Please Hudson! Please, please, please be okay!
The scream goes on and on, the phone in my hand still black. Adam and Rhys are in front of me, but I can't hear what they're saying over all the screaming. It's like I'm no longer in my own body. I'm watching it all, the crazed, heartbroken woman screaming and clutching her head, trying to stop the anguish filling ever fucking inch. It's me, and yet, it's not.
I'm numb.
I'm shattered.
I'm not going to survive this.
"Lay, baby. I need you to calm down!" Adam tells, desperately trying to get my attention. "Baby, please. We don't know what's wrong until you calm down and tell us."
"Hudson," I sob, feeling more together again and hating every second. I want the numbness back. I can't survive the pain.
I can't. I can't. I can't.
"What about him, love? What happened?" Rhys asks, rubbing a hand down my back as I rock back and forth, drowning in tears.
