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“I’ll pay for anything that’s taken. Besides, this will only take a second.” Jason enters my building and goes straight for the stairs.
It’s one flight up to get to my place and the building is only five stories tall. There are four units on each floor and mine is the smallest one. I didn’t need much even though I grew up in a big home. All that space felt empty to me and my place feels cozy.
I reach into my bag and pull out my keys before I unlock the door. Jason pushes it open for me and enters like he owns the place. He puts me down on my sofa that doubles as my bed then takes out his wallet and hands Billy some money. Billy hands over the pies, thanks Jason and leaves. The sound of the lock is loud in my small studio as Jason turns to look at me.
“Why wasn’t the alarm on?” That was not what I thought he was going to say. He points at the small box on the wall next to the front door.
“I thought I’d only be gone a second.” The pie adventure wasn’t planned and got me into this mess.
“Always set it, Sky,” he orders.
“I think you should leave.” I tilt my chin up in challenge.
“Clearly you need someone to look after you.”
This time it’s me who laughs. I’ve been looking out for myself my whole life. The idea of someone else doing it is laughable. It sounds wonderful but Jason reminds me it’s something he can’t give me. I learned that lesson once and I don’t want to do it again. From my family or him, for that matter. I was shocked when I realized his disappearing cut deeper than my parents ever did and I know I can’t go through that again. Not even for a second can I let myself think Jason could be mine or that he wants me to be his.
If he truly wanted me the way he’s claiming he did, then he wouldn’t have let me go. But really I’m not so shocked because no one ever comes looking for me.
Chapter 4
Jason
“What are you thinking?” I step closer to her as I see a sadness cross her eyes. “What was that thought right then?”
“It’s nothing.” She looks away from me and I don’t like it.
“Tell me, Skyler. I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me what just made you so sad.” I see what looks like tears forming in her eyes and I curse as I go to her and kneel down beside the bed.
“It’s nothing, it’s fine.” She tries to turn away from me to look out the window, but I don’t let her.
“You’re mad at me,” I say, and it’s a statement, but she nods like I asked her a question and still won’t look at me. “You think I disappeared because I don’t want you.”
“Well, if you wanted me you’ve got a terrible way of showing it,” she snaps.
“I stayed away to protect you but I never stopped wanting you.”
“To protect me?” Her eyes narrow in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
I swallow hard and contemplate for a moment how to put into words what I feel. My fears and my passion all circle around her and every moment of my life is hinged on her movements. How do I describe what that’s like and how do I control myself when she inevitably pushes me away? Stepping back and watching her from a distance was the one way I could manage it. But seeing her today with Jon has sparked something I never thought possible. She could start a life with someone else and though it sounds idiotic I never thought that was possible.
In my mind and soul there was no one else for me, and I know she felt that, too. I didn’t really have a plan other than keeping my distance before today. Now I see that I’ve gone about this the wrong way and I’ve got to somehow make it right. And to start, I need her to understand what it is I feel for her.
“I’m obsessed with you,” I whisper as I lower my chin and look down at my hands. “I don’t know how to explain it other than I can’t control myself with you.”
“Then why did you leave?” Some of the anger in her voice is gone but I can sense she’s still hesitant.
“I don’t think you understand. It’s uncontrollable.” I look up at her as I take her hands in mine. “I want you more than I want to breathe and the longer we stayed together the worse it became. I had to take a step back, but I never stopped watching you, and I damn well never stopped wanting you.”
She’s silent as I think about the torture of watching her from a distance.
