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“I’ll smother you and make demands and never let you more than an inch away from me. I’ll force my way into every part of your life and bury myself so deep inside you that you’ll have no choice but to carry me with you wherever you go.”
“Jason.” Her voice is softer now and I hate how much I love the way she says my name.
“Can you imagine a life like that, Skyler? One where I’m always two steps behind you or watching you sleep. Would you want to live with me at your heels like a dog always ready to love you?” I close my eyes and shake my head. “I will never stop and it will only get worse with time. I know in my soul that whatever you give me won’t be enough and I’ll spend every moment of every day wanting you.”
“I don’t know what to say.” I feel her fingers tighten around mine, but I can’t let hope take root.
“I lost my business and everything that I’d built. I’m getting it back, but the thought of not being able to give you everything you wanted tore me into pieces. You deserve a man that can shower you with wealth, but I wasn’t even good enough to let you go.”
“You fell off the face of the earth. How did you not let me go?”
I look up at her with a sardonic smile. “I was always watching. I looked away from you for one second today and you fell into the arms of my brother. What am I supposed to believe will happen if I turn my back on you completely? It’s not something I can do, but the thought sends me straight into a living nightmare.”
“It wasn’t like that. But I need you to tell me what you mean by you were always watching me.” There’s only curiosity in her voice which gives me a little relief.
“When we met in my office that first night and I gave you my shirt I knew instantly that I couldn’t let you go. I went a little overboard and when you gave me your phone to put in my number, I shared the location with myself. From then on I could see where you were and I made sure to be close. You don’t go to a lot of places, so it kind of made it easy for me to be nearby. But that’s how I lost you today. I was used to you going out for your quick breakfast and then going back home and I didn’t factor in your love of pie. I should have had a stack delivered two weeks ago when you got your period.”
Her face flushes as her eyes widen. “How did you—”
I hold up my hand to stop her. “There’s nothing I don’t know about you.”
“Jason, this is crazy. You tell me you’re so into me that you had to walk away? That you knew instantly that I belong to you, and you’ve been watching me this whole time? Yet I feel like at any moment you’re going to disappear on me again. How am I supposed to react to this?”
“You don’t have to react,” I say, and she sighs. I let go of her hand and place my palm on her thigh and slowly move it lower. “The only thing you have to do right now is feel.”
“W-what?” She stumbles over her words as I push her knees apart.
“I told you that I was going to make sure you eat. And the only thing I want to do right now is take care of you.”
I lean in close and brush my lips gently against hers. “I can’t expect you to understand how I’ve behaved or how strong my need for you is. But I can’t keep putting space between us.”
She gasps as I kiss her and I use the moment to slide my tongue into her mouth. The feel of hers against mine is warm and soft and a shiver runs down my back. If I had it bad for her before, there’s no name for what I’m feeling as she lies back on the bed and opens for me.
Having her body under me settles something inside my soul and I know it’s because finally I’m able to protect her. If I’m here and on top of her, then no harm can ever come to her. I don’t know how I’m going to survive if I can’t do this to her every moment of every day.
When she’s breathless I press my forehead to hers and just breathe her in. “Just feel,” I remind her as I slide down her body and in between her legs.
I reach over and grab the top box on the stack of pies and open it beside her. There’s a plastic fork tucked in with it and I take it out and hand it to her.
