“Nothing,” Anderson replies first, taking a step back, and letting go of me.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Fynn snorts.
I feel his cold stare all the way down to my heels. I never thought someone’s icy stare would get to me this much. I want to start explaining everything that led to this awkward moment. I want to tell him that we didn’t expect any of this to happen. We were just dancing, nothing else. But, I can’t move. I can’t say a word. All I can do is feel guilty underneath his stare.
“We were just dancing, that’s all,” Anderson keeps on explaining, even though we all know full well what was about to happen.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know.
I almost feel like chuckling to myself, because this seems exactly like the kind of thing Anderson would say to lighten up the mood. But, I’m not laughing. I’m not even smiling. I feel like I’m torn between these two men, a constant fight between hot and cold, fire and ice, and I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.
“A little too close then.”
“Well, you know, we got into the rhythm,” Anderson, being his usual joker self, has to try.
But, Fynn isn’t letting it go. His stare is still chilling me to my very bones, transferring a message. Why? Why, when I warned you once already?
I feel like I’ve somehow disappointed him, even though I didn’t do anything. Nothing happened. But, I can’t say that nothing was going to happen. That would be a lie. I still remember the heat of Anderson’s presence. I remember his gaze. He could light me up with just the touch of his hands. I wonder what would happen to me if we actually kissed. Would I go all weak in the knees? Would I melt like honey in his hands? Those all sound about right.
Not wanting to reveal any of this, I remain quiet, letting Anderson handle this delicate situation, even though he is also not doing it all that well. Feeling guilty, I just watch him squirm, not being able to offer much help.
“A word, outside?” Fynn growls at Anderson, and I feel a strange relief hoping I’m off the hook.
However, this isn’t all Anderson’s fault. I could have refused his hand. I could have refused the dance. I didn’t. And, there isn’t a parallel universe in existence where I did.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” I snarl at Anderson, the moment we’re outside.
The nature around us is in stark contrast to my mood right now, and I couldn’t care less about the freakin’ birds singing or the sun shining above us. All I want is to knock some sense into Anderson, since he obviously hasn’t got much left in him, to do what he was trying to do just now.
“Unwinding,” Anderson replies, scoffing at me. “You should try it sometimes. It won’t kill you.”
“Are you serious!?” I try to keep my voice down, but it’s damn near impossible. “You call that unwinding? After all the talking we had on the subject?”
“What talking?” he shrugs, staying irritatingly calm. I always hate him for that. “You talked. You always talk. I’m usually silent, and you don’t even check to see whether I agree or not.”
“I’m trying to keep us safe. What’s so wrong with that?”
I turn around and kick a wandering stone that happens to cross my path. It flies off somewhere into the bushes. No sound follows it. There are no woodland critters around here, and the thought calms me down a little. At least that. It’s just us.
“The problem is that we can’t be safe, if we’re going after what we need,” he explains, and I know exactly what he’s referring to. “Don’t tell me it didn’t occur to you,” I suddenly hear him say, and as if following the same instinct, we glance at the door.
It’s still closed.
She won’t be coming outside. She doesn’t want to be a part of this conversation. And, she’d better stay inside. I can’t shout at her like I can shout at Anderson, whom I’ve known for years.
I snort loudly. He doesn’t wait for me to say anything to that.
“Because I have,” he adds quickly.
“You think that’s not obvious?” I shake my head at him disapprovingly.
What the fuck is he thinking – fucking with someone we’re supposed to protect and keep safe? I’m so pissed I can’t think straight. I see red everywhere.
“No, what’s strange is that it isn’t obvious to you,” he shakes his head at me. “Have you seen her? Have you spoken to her?”