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I looked at him strangely. “Of course not!” I scoffed. “I don’t know what got into Dad’s head, and I have no idea why Mom would be so stupid as to go along with him, but it’s completely ridiculous. They’re just off in their own world, and more power to them if they can be happy, but it’s not something I wanted to be a part of. I know this sounds bad, but I was actually happy when they went, because they took their crazy with them.”
“Wouldn’t you ever want to see them again?”
“Sure, if they dialed their ridiculousness back. I just don’t want that to be a part of my life. I mean, come on, I don’t know what my Dad found, but if it was that convincing it would have been bigger news.”
“What do you think you’d do if you found out that he was right?”
I stared at him blankly, mystified why he’d even suggest such a thing, but I put it down to his sense of humor. He was probably just teasing me.
“There’s no chance in hell that Dad was right about this, come on, men who shift into lions? That’s just ridiculous and I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of indulging his fantasies. Anyway, I’ve told you about it and I’d prefer not to speak about it again. I’m sorry for snapping, but it’s something of a sore point.”
“I can tell,” Dalton said, taking a sip of his beer. “I’m sorry for pressing, I just find it interesting that these things can exist in the world. But then again, I didn’t have parents who took their interest in them to unhealthy levels of obsession.”
“No, I suppose you didn’t.” It was then that I realized I had no idea what his parents were like. I asked him about them and he became a little reluctant to speak. He twisted his body in his seat and took a long draught of his beer.
“I suppose you could say they’re very traditional. In some ways, I suppose, you could say they’re the opposite to your parents. They’re quite rigid and they didn’t much like the idea of me leaving my home to come to the city.”
“Why did you come, if you like nature so much?”
Dalton smiled, knowingly, aware of the contradiction. “I like the atmosphere of nature, but it can be pretty lonely at times, as well. Part of me wanted to meet someone special, I suppose, and I knew that the chances of that happening would increase, outside of my small social circle. Plus, I never much cared for the rules that my parents tried to enforce. I still get back there, from time to time, and I don’t think they’ve ever forgiven me for leaving. It’s the same with Rick.”
“Is tha
t why he’s worried at the moment? Is it tension to do with his family?”
“You might say that,” Dalton said, his brow furrowed with concern. “I guess we’re just trying to take care of our parents, without sacrificing what’s important to our lives. It’s a delicate balancing act. You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but Rick is a sensitive soul and he’s just worried.”
“Are they alright? They’re not ill or anything are they?”
“I think they will be okay, but it’s not really my place to say. Rick is a private person and he’d rather I not discuss this with you. It’s nothing personal, he’s just likes to keep these things to himself.”
“Well, I hope it goes okay,” I said, and tried to picture the world in which Dalton and Rick had grown up. I could imagine it was in some kind of farmhouse where they worked and toiled on the land, day after day, building up their impressive physiques and their stamina. They were disciplined, and had an easy way about them, because life surrounded by nature was relaxing and serene; even though the work was hard it was satisfying, and when they took a break they could look to the horizon and sigh in happiness at the sight of the golden sun, unlike in the city where everywhere you looked there was someone stressed out, and stress was infectious. I decided not to ask Dalton any more about his upbringing, because I liked the scenario I’d formed. I could easily imagine he and Rick tending a farm, their shirtless, sweat-slicked bodies glistening in the summer’s heat, and then perhaps I’d appear too, coming outside wearing a floral dress carrying a tray of ice cold lemonade.
I felt as though talking about our families had raised some tension that I didn’t like the feeling of and I didn’t want it to last. I finished my glass of wine and hoped that the turn the conversation had made hadn’t tainted my charm, it was just that whenever my parents were mentioned a switch was flipped inside me and I couldn’t quell the deep feelings that rose within. As much as Andy had hurt me, the wounds my parents had caused were far deeper and had lasted longer, as though they had been branded into my soul. I loved them, for they were my parents and had given me life, but ever since then, they had only caused me anguish.
I didn’t tell Dalton the entire truth of my father’s obsession with these lion shifters. He plastered articles all over the walls and had piles of books that he used to leaf through to try and glean one morsel of information. I still remember the neon glow of the post it notes that he had stuck in the books at random intervals. Once, I had gone through them to see if there was anything serious, but the books were filled with small printed, long winded sentences that made my head spin. They were all musty, as well, and I wondered if anyone had read them other than my father. They didn’t strike me as popular fiction.
He’d also had a map up on the wall and marked where reported sightings of these lion shifters had been. He and Mom had gone on a journey to these landmarks. I remembered the time when they had asked me if I wanted to join them, but I turned my nose up. It wasn’t as though they were going to any famous landmarks and it was perhaps the first time that I saw my parents as other people had seen them. When I was younger, other kids had always made fun of my parents and the way they had chosen to live their lives. I had always been ashamed of the way that I, too, had resented them for it, because it wasn’t as though they were causing anyone harm, they just wanted to live by their own rules. However, when Dad got obsessed with this lion story, I saw how deep their obsession went and how destructive it could be. I saw how they were willing to throw away their lives for this fantasy they had and I was genuinely angry at them for not trying harder to be a part of the world, because, as cruel and monotonous as it could be, the world still held much wonder in it, and plenty of opportunity.
My parents, as far as I knew, had never tried to live normally in the world. They had clung to their ideals, as though these things were the only genuine objects in a world filled with deception, and I often wondered how they had formed that opinion, because my view of the world was entirely different. I had entered the work force and I enjoyed my job, because it enabled me to have a bit of self-autonomy and independence. I found that I was good at saving money, as well, and this frugal nature was one of the few things that I was grateful to my parents for, although Jennifer would say that I was too frugal for my own good and needed to loosen my purse strings a little, once in a while.
I remembered too the paintings my Mom had made when Dad had filled her head with these facts as well. Before the lions, Mom would paint all kinds of things; beautiful expansive landscapes, intricate abstract patterns, and portraits that brought out the true essence of the person posing for her. Then the lions came and, suddenly, every one of her canvases were filled with depictions of the golden animals in all manner of landscapes. Sometimes she even did interpretations of what she thought a shifting lion would look like, and I always found myself oddly fascinated by these, although I wouldn’t admit it to my parents in case they tried to convert me into their strange cult.
Then they left, and I was alone. I had no idea if I even wanted to see them again, because I knew they would have only gone even deeper into their obsession and I didn’t want to be bombarded with their tales of how close they had come. Frankly, I was surprised they hadn’t returned home with their tails between their legs yet, but, knowing them, they had found something on the road to interest them. I was glad of the letters though, just to know that they were out there somewhere.
*
With the glasses empty, I think Dalton and I both knew that our date was coming to an end. Thinking of my parents had certainly cast a shadow over the date and I felt bad for that. I knew it was my own fault and I shouldn’t have let them have this effect on me, but it was an ingrained reaction and I wanted to make it up to Dalton, so before we left I apologized to him for ruining the atmosphere of the date.
“But I promise I’ll make it up to you,” I said, “why don’t you come round mine for dinner?”
“I’d love to,” Dalton replied, and we made arrangements for him to come over a few nights later. Even though the date had been tainted by the talk of my parents it had ended on a happy note, and I was hopeful that the third date would be even better; I just had to make sure my apartment was tidy enough.
*
“I can’t believe you talked about your parents!” Jennifer exclaimed, when I told her about the date. I’d been walking around with a big grin on my face ever since I had my second date with Dalton. I wanted to brag about my happiness, since this kind of thing didn’t happen often to me. I, actually, even liked the fact that people at work were gossiping about my romance with the bouncer, as it felt as though I was the main event, rather than just looking in from the outside for a change. However, I certainly wasn’t going to give them any more information than I thought they needed, for the sake of my own privacy, so I came into Jennifer’s office and was glad that walls separated us from the rest of our colleagues.
They had also teased me about coming with them to the Blue Lagoon again, but I had no desire to go there any longer. It had served its purpose, and to go to Dalton’s place of work, without any warning, seemed like one step away from stalking.
