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John
Two Weeks Later
“Mom, I know you want to see her but she’s not ready.” This is the fifth time we’ve had this conversation since Reli has been home. She’s seeing her counselor every day, and she’s taking things one day at a time.
“But she needs us. It’s not right keeping us away.”
“I know you want to help, Mom, but she’s working through things in her own way.” I’m tired; every night Reli has nightmares. The screams are enough to chill my bones, but whenever I go to her room and see her writhing in pain with tears flowing down her face makes me want to go to Talia and kill her.
“I need to see that she’s doing okay,” Mom replies, and I know that it’s hurting her that she can’t see her. She wants to help. None of us Princetons are good at feeling helpless, if someone’s hurting we want to do everything we can to help. “I’ll stop by and bring dinner.”
“Mom, Reli needs a routine. She needs to be able to make her own choices and right now that’s what I'm letti
ng her do. The counselor agrees with me.” I want her to know that she can and will make her own choices. She’s been through so fucking much but she’s strong and I don’t want anything to set her back. “I know you’re worried, but give her time.”
She sighs heavily. “She’s got to be hurting. I hate that.” Her voice breaks. “We should have helped her a long time ago.”
The guilt has hit us hard; we know that if we had checked in on her this wouldn’t have happened. We were her family, we were all she had left, and we left her there.
“I’ll talk to her again.”
“Thank you,” she whispers and I can tell that she’s crying. “Give her a hug and tell her that everything will be okay. I can’t help but wonder when was the last time someone held that poor girl.”
Every single night for the past two weeks. The nightmares have come hard and strong every night, to the point they leave her shaking. I hold her tightly in my arms every single night whispering, reassuring her that she’s safe. It takes a couple of hours before she’s able to fall back to sleep. The last few times she's had them, she's been clinging to me when she tries to calm down.
I glance up at the clock on my office wall and see that it’s almost three-forty-five. Reli is finished with her counselor in fifteen minutes. I push to my feet. “Mom, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to Reli.” I exit my office and see that my brothers aren’t here. I know that Cohen and Talin are on a case, but Matthew and Cage aren’t here. I’m wondering where they are as I make my way to the exit.
“Okay son, tell Reli that we’re thinking of her,” she pleads, sounding as though she’s still crying.
“Will do.” I end the call and slide into my car. I’m anxious to get her. After Reli’s meetings with her counselor, she’s always shaken up and quiet for a couple of hours. I tend to stay in the background working, but close enough in case she needs me.
Just as I pull up outside the doctor’s, Reli appears from inside. Her eyes puffy and red, her arms pulled tightly across her stomach as though she’s holding herself together. Her movements are slow as she walks toward my car. She gets in without saying a word and pulls the seat belt around her and buckles herself in.
I leave her be and drive home; I’ve never asked about the sessions she has. I have made it clear that if she wants to talk, I’ll listen. She pulls her knees up to her chest and turns her head to look out of the passengers side window.
When we get home, she goes straight to her room, closing the door behind her. This is a different take on what normally happens; she usually sits in the sitting room watching TV. The shower goes on so I decide against cooking tonight. I’ll order takeout. She loves Chinese; she hadn’t tried it before, and it broke my heart when she told me that. I order enough to feed a small army, knowing any leftovers I’ll bring to work and the team will eat it.
An hour later and she walks downstairs; she’s dressed in an oversized t-shirt and upon further inspection, I realize that it’s one of mine. I can’t help but smile. I relax knowing that she’s getting comfortable around me.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she stands in the doorway of the sitting room, her eyes on the food that I’ve laid out.
She shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears.
I move toward her, pulling her into my arms; the only time I usually hold her is a night. I'd love nothing more than to take this further as Michigan state has the legal age for sex at sixteen, but I couldn’t, no wouldn’t, do that to Reli. As much as I want her, she needs to heal first. I want her to know that I’m what she wants, and that she wants the connection between us and not out of obligation because I’ve helped her.
She wraps her arms around my stomach and buries her head into my chest, her tears soaking through my shirt. She’s shaking as sobs wrack through her body. I hold her until her tears subside.
When she quietens, I move toward the sofa and sit with her on my lap, just being the comfort that she needs. I don’t talk and neither does she; whatever happened in her session today has obviously hurt her.
“Thank you,” she whispers, holding me tighter before releasing me and moving to sit beside me.
“For what?” I ask, hating that she’s put distance between us.
“Being here for me. Holding me when the nightmares come. For just being you.” Her voice is soft and gentle. Her smile is bright and fucking beautiful, just like she is.
“You never have to thank me for that,” I growl and her eyes widen. “Sorry,” I say quieter, “But, Reli, you never have to thank me for being here for you. I want to be.”
She nods, her tongue sweeping her bottom lip. “"I, I urmm, I.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I spoke to my counselor about you today.”
