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He tilted his head, staring deep in her eyes. A twinge of sadness twinkled in his irises, like what he was about to say affected him more than her. “You deserve a man who stays with you and marries you and spends the rest of his life making you happy.”
“Well I’ve been married before. Didn’t exactly work,” she said. Sure, Luke had never provoked these intense carnal urges in her, but when she married him, she’d thought they’d last forever.
“What are you saying?”
What would Noelle do? Her beloved friend always jumped at opportunities to try new things, meet new people and learn new skills. Meanwhile, Nikki had been too measured, too concerned, too freaking fearful to take leaps of faith. Determination simmered in her bloodstream. “I say let’s have fun. For once in my life, I won’t worry about the future. It’ll be a task for a paranoid person like me, but maybe I’ll exercise some character building.” Or she’d end up having the best sex of her life. Either way, she’d take it.
He chuckled. “You’ll use me for my body.”
She erased the gap between them and kissed his neck. “For as long as you’re in town.”
* * *
Cole shut the door of his car. For the past two weeks, he’d been visiting potential retirement places with Nikki and during lunch break, they scurried to his hotel room. Though they kept it light and playful, each time he had her, the window until he could wait to have her again and not lose his mind shortened. He missed the sway of her hips as she walked, the sound of her laughter or the cute way she peered at him.
He walked up to her house. They’d agreed on meeting for drinks after work, but why not pick her up this time? So he’d arrive a few minutes earlier and hope he’d catch her at home. He rang the bell, and when she opened the door, wearing purple sweatpants and an oversize shirt from Berkeley University, a part of him deflated. Had she changed her mind about going out with him?
“Cole? What happened?” she asked, welcoming him inside.
He shrugged. “I thought I’d show up earlier.”
She slapped her forehead. “Right.” She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them with an apologetic look. The contours of her face softened, the hint that even though she looked lovely in her casual gear, chances were no date would take place tonight. In or out of the house. “Sorry, but I have to cancel. Luke was supposed to have the kids today, but he caught a flu and I don’t want the boys to get it from him.”
A bucket of iced water poured over him, cooling his bloodstream. “I understand,” he said, managing to conceal his disappointment.
“So if you want to have a night in, great, but if not, rain check?” she asked casually, perching her hands at her waist. She tilted her head to the side, probably assuming his reply.
“Sure. Rain check sounds good,” he said, and a pang of frustration clogged his throat. Was it because she didn’t look fazed?
He heard the sound of boys’ voices and a thumping noise from the second floor.
She waved him off. “Well then, good. I’ll see you at work.”
He turned to go home, but after she closed the door behind him, a heavy invisible armor vest snugged his chest and shoulders, keeping him from dashing to his car and leaving. A chilly sensation of shame spread in his chest. She’d been understanding when he walked away—she hadn’t expected any more of him.
Was that the reason why he was so confused? Because his presence there wouldn’t have made a difference for her? Of course it didn’t. She was a mother and did this kind of thing often. She didn’t need him to come and save the day.
His gut clenched so tight it cramped. Without understanding or hell, thinking further, he returned to her house and knocked on the door, but also twisted the handle, which she still hadn’t locked.
He stepped inside and followed the noises from the second floor. He went up the stairs leading to an open play area filled with cars, toys and a desk where crayons and sheets of construction paper lay. A built-in shelf displayed many kids’ books, neatly stacked.
His mother had always read to him and Keith, even when they couldn’t understand much. The memory of his mother and brother lying by the beach of their vacation home unraveled in his mind, and he touched his chest, willing the thumping away.
Then, a much different thump barreled into him, faster than a blink. He glanced down to find one of the boys’ head butting into his gut. “Whoa. What are you doing?”
“Get back, Bad Guy,” he said, using kid-size boxer gloves to smack his leg.
“What’s going on?” Nikki appeared from one of the rooms. “Cole? Did you forget anything?”
My common sense. He touched where the boy had head-bumped him, a slight discomfort spreading across that area. The little one could throw a punch. “I came to stay. For the night.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, not for the night, but the evening.”
She crossed her arms, flashing him a skeptical look. “Did David whack you?”
He straightened his shoulders. Maybe David had a future in football or kickboxing. “He tried.”
David removed his glove and peered up at his mother. “He could be a bad guy, Mom.”
“Mr. Myler is a friend of mine and coworker. He’ll stay for dinner,” she said to David, but her gaze studied Cole. A shiver traveled beneath his skin. “Why don’t you go change and help your brother do the same? I’ll see you guys downstairs.”
