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Iwas slightly shaken from my run-in with Frank. We had kind of been avoiding each other as best we could since I stupidly kissed him. It was a bad decision and one that I thought would mess everything up, and I was right in a way. Things got weird, Frank got quiet, but even though he didn’t say anything, the way he looked at me and his demeanor were definitely different. He was checking my body out and even when it was just rude to keep looking, he had, like he wasn’t able to tear his gaze away.
I couldn’t say for certain what that look did to me, but I knew that there was something else I wanted to talk to him about. I wanted him to see that it could be better, but he had taken off, running away like he had before.
Determined to not let it get to me, I went in and got Alice up and ready for school. They had a holiday vacation coming up the next week and I needed to find out what I was going to have to do for that. It felt like I was getting too much pressure from Tommy and when I was late, he always accused me of doing unsavory things with my boss. He hadn’t even seen Frank, but if he did, he would definitely up the talk of cheating. Frank was a gorgeous guy; it was hard to deny.
Alice was gone and Tommy wanted to see me. He knew that I was busy in the daytime, but it was just one of many times lately that he had been pushing for more time. He wanted me to move back in with him and get out of Frank’s pool house, but I didn’t want to. I had my own place, I didn’t have to report to anyone, and that’s the way that I wanted it for a while. It didn’t matter that there was something going on between us, it was just sex for me. Tommy might have been thinking further ahead, but I wasn’t. He needed to know that, but it was impossible to tell him something that he simply didn’t want to hear.
I had to meet him though, afraid that he would show up unannounced again. It wouldn’t be something that I could shrug off if he did it again. I wouldn’t be able to handle the humiliation. Tommy was acting like he owned me, and he didn’t. No one did.
He was all smiles when I got into his car, and he was soon taking me back to his place.
“I can’t be rolling around in bed with you all day, Tommy.”
He sighed and said that we had to, since I had gipped him the last time we’d seen each other. I had been late, so he hadn’t been able to have me several times, so he needed me now. I had promised to stay there and wait for Alice, but I knew that Tommy wasn’t going to let it go. He wanted it, so I was going to have to throw him a bone, even if it made it harder to get rid of him later.
* * *
I was relievedthat Tommy was still the same guy that I could get off fairly quickly. We were back in under an hour and I insisted that he drop me off. I wanted to be there when Alice got home. I’d promised. I was supposed to talk to Tommy about what was going on between the two of us and how we weren’t really going out, but it hadn’t worked that way. I wanted it to, really I did, but it was impossible when we didn’t have that much time, not to mention he was my ride home.
Tommy was the type of guy that kind of latched on and didn’t let go. It was becoming clear that not only was he trying to make something out of this that it wasn’t, but he was trying hard to get me back where I was before, living with him and all of my needs were attached to him. It was the sort of situation that I was used to with him, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to go back. I wished I had never returned his call and text. It would have been easier.
Then again, I might have embarrassed myself further with Frank, trying to get his attention. All I had to do apparently, was let him catch me getting out of the shower. That turned his head, but how was I supposed to get him to do more? Why was I even thinking about one man when I had just been with another?
Frank was home before Alice, and he caught me dozing off on the couch again. This time when he woke me up, I didn’t run off but instead asked him if he wanted me to make him some coffee. It wasn’t too late, and I knew that Frank drank it all day long.
“That would be great. How was your day?”
I grinned and said it was okay. It had been a bit better than okay, but that information wasn’t on a need-to-know basis. He didn’t need to know what I’d been doing. I asked him how his day was, and he told me about a couple of his surgeries.
When the coffee was done, I poured some for him and he thanked me. His blue eyes were twinkling at me, and I waited for something to happen, something magical. The air was full of tension, and I just felt electricity run through me.
What was about to happen? It was something, I could feel it. Or maybe, I was trying to force it into happening. I felt this overwhelming need inside of me and him. Why couldn’t it work itself out, the way I knew it was supposed to?
18
Frank
Amber seemed different when I got home that evening. She was just up from a nap, bright-eyed, and it looked like she had a lot to say about what was going on with Alice. She had a new boyfriend that I was told all about. I knew that it was just small talk, as well as her trying to keep me in the loop. I appreciated it, but at the same time, there was a part of me that didn’t want to hear about that. All I wanted to hear about was how everything was going to be okay between us. I wanted to talk about us.
“Alice has really blossomed under your tutelage. I don’t know how I can thank you.”
“No need. She is an absolute sweetheart.”
I chuckled because it was just so different from what I’d heard so many times before. Others would have liked to convince me that Alice was a heathen. She had just needed the right soft touch and it was Amber. Now, selfishly, I wanted that same touch and attention. I wanted so many things for myself, something that I wasn’t used to. I wasn’t used to wanting much past getting through the day and making sure that my daughter had a good one. Things were different now; I could just feel it. I was finally ready to take a step in another direction. I hoped that there was something that I could do to make it happen.
“Really, Amber, let me take you out, something. Alice is going to be gone overnight with her team. It would be nice to go out, touch base. It seems like we don’t really see each other all that much. I barely know what is going on with you, how you have been feeling. I take it that you have started up normal activities, everything has been okay?”
She got a little red after a moment, maybe when it dawned on her what I was saying. She didn’t comment on that, what normal activities she was back to, but she did say that everything seemed to be fine.
“I can’t do what I used to do physically, but that is becoming less and less. It is all thanks to you that I can even walk, so I don’t have much else to complain about. It would seem ungrateful to say anything negative. I am better than I thought I would be.”
“I am your doctor, Amber; you need to tell me if anything is going on.”
She agreed that she would, but I didn’t like being just her doctor. Couldn’t she see that I wanted to be so much more than that? Wasn’t it obvious?
“I am okay, doc, thanks to you.”
“So, about dinner, what do you think?”
