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Had he been serious when he tried to break things off yesterday? My foot was tapping against the ground, and I was biting on the end of my pencil, a nervous habit that I’d thought I’d broken a long time ago although I’d, obviously, been very wrong. It came back as soon as the nerves did.
I was being forced to acknowledge the feelings that I was beginning to harbor for Jordan. This wasn’t just some one night stand. It was so much more than that, and I was sure of that now. He meant more to me than just someone who happened to be good in bed.
Although even I had to admit that he was a god when it came to anything that included a romp in the sack. He felt phenomenal, and last night had furthered that even though I’d always known it about him.
My memories began to go back to what had happened between the two of us in that janitorial closet.
It was hard to stay quiet in the cramped space that Jordan had been fucking me in. Everywhere I moved, I was either touching a broom or a mop, and I had no idea why I even felt the need to pick this as our next sexy location. But, there had been something so forbidden about it, so interesting that I hadn’t been able to stop myself when I passed by the door.
Why had I been there, originally? It hadn’t been to engage in such acts with Jordan. It had simply been because there was something that I needed to have his input on, about the company that we were about to be partners on.
But, I’d walked by that closet and gotten sidetracked, especially when I thought about all of the things that he could do to me, in that closet, how easily he could fuck me, and the amount of effort that it would take me to keep my mouth shut. And, for some reason, all of that had succeeded in turning me on, even if I hadn’t wanted to admit it.
There was something so forbidden and so exciting about doing it in the public, with the chance that you could get caught. It was the thrill and the adrenaline of it all, and I hadn’t been able to push it aside. My hand had been shaking when I sent him the message, although I wasn’t sure why.
Jordan didn’t have any reason to deny me, minus the more obvious ones, but we’d gotten over that, by now. Yes, my father was one of his closest friends. Yes, he was ten years older than me. Yes, in a way he’d been raised like family. But, not really around me. I’d seen him a handful of times. He was nothing like a brother to me.
He was my lover, and I’d be damned if I was going to let him go.
He was the ideal man that I should be with anyways. Drew didn’t understand the stress that I was under. He didn’t understand why I was such a workaholic, and in the end that was the reason that he’d broken up with me. He had wanted a woman that could be waiting at home for him, every night for dinner. She would cook meatloaf once a week and would bear him as many children as he deemed was necessary.
Drew wanted to be the worker, the provider of the family. I had theories that I’d intimidated him, that maybe he didn’t like the fact that I was so into work, that I was bound to make more money than he was. That I’d come from money, and he hadn’t. There were so many things working against our relationship and almost no reason to keep trying to fix it.
So, we’d let it go. When something wasn’t worth fixing, it was labeled as a piece of junk and thrown away. Our relationship had been no different.
But none of that had been important in that janitorial closet. The only thing that my thoughts had been focused on was how hard Jordan was plunging into me, like a maniac, as if he couldn’t get enough of me. He was fucking me like it was the last time that he would ever get the chance to do so.
There was no way that it could have been goodbye, right?
My heart started to race. Was he really trying to break things off with me?
My mind started to wander between every thing that had happened between the two of us. Jordan had never explicitly told me that he liked me, but, then again, I’d never explicitly told him that I liked him, either. My thoughts were moving at seventy miles per hour as I tried to focus.
Had he thought that this was nothing more than a friends with benefits relationship? Did he think that he could end this anytime he wanted if it was convenient for him? My anger spiked. He couldn’t be serious, could he? If that was his way of saying goodbye then he was about to have another thing coming his way.
Who did he think he was? My hand balled into a fist. I wasn’t just the kind of person that he could dump when he felt like it. I checked my phone and saw that there weren’t any missed calls or messages from him.
I didn’t know what I was expecting. Jordan hardly ever texted or called after one of our indulgences. But, this time, I really wanted him to. Maybe it was for reassurance, or maybe it was some other reason that I wasn’t completely aware of. But, I wanted a text that told me that he was in this for the long run, that yesterday hadn’t tarnished what we had together.
There was no way that I could forget the look that had been on his face when I had told him about what my father had done. He had looked terrified, like he’d seen a ghost. And, I didn’t understand why.
Of course I’d wondered if Dad had caught us, but if he had, then wouldn’t he have said something about it to me? And when would he have seen the two of us anyway? Jordan had just been overexaggerating.
He was so terrified that Dad would find out. But, even if Dad did find out, what were we going to lose? I was a grown woman, and Jordan was his own man. My dad couldn’t do anything to keep us separated. All we had to do was wait until Heartstrings had been bought out, and then we were free to do whatever we wanted.
It was sneaky, and a part of me felt bad. I had never been the sneaky type. I, also, had never been the type of girl to hide things from my dad. We were always close when I was growing up. I didn’t keep secrets from him.
But this was something that I didn’t have a choice with. He would be sorely displeased if he found out, and I didn’t have a doubt that he’d sabotage this upcoming deal. We had to wait until that wasn’t an option, and after that, I wanted to become official with Jordan. I didn’t want this to be in this relationship that we had to hide.
I wanted for him to be able to show me off, and for me to do the same. And he had to have felt the same way, right?
My phone started ringing. My heart jumped in my chest because I thought it was Jordan. Maybe he was calling to claim his love, or perhaps he was calling to get another time and location for the next place that we were going to get it on. Whatever it was that he was calling for, I was more than eager to answer the phone.
I was left disappointed when I realized that it was only Jake. I sighed before answering the phone.
“Jake,” I said his name in greeting. I had started to be more formal, mainly because now he wasn’t just my best friend’s brother. He was someone I had to do business with. My father had always taught me never to mix business and pleasure, but sometimes, I believed, it could be done without making a mess.
