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“I know, I know. You don’t have to say it. I know you’d never approve of me being with her. That’s why I lied for as long as I could, but finally…I just knew I couldn’t anymore. I knew ending it was the only right thing to do…for you and for her. But I swear…I had no idea she was pregnant.”
Now he was the one letting things wash over him. The air seemed to be knocked out of him for a moment, forcing him to sink down onto the couch next to me.
“You want to be with her?” he asked in shock. “Like really be with her? As in taking care of her and this baby?”
“Maybe I didn’t know it at first, but…Yes.” I bucked up, rising to my feet so I could face him like a man for the first time since this whole thing started. “I want to take care of her, and if there’s going to be a baby…Then I want to be there every step of the way. As much as she’ll let me. I know I’ve probably fucked everything up beyond repair as far as how she feels about me. But I do love your daughter. Maybe in another life…if I ever had the chance to go back and do things the right way…”
“The right way,” he scoffed, but it eased into a soft smile. “And just what would you do then? If you could go back.”
“I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have come to you first and told you I was interested in her, so we’d never have to sneak around behind your back. And if you told me to never speak to her again…well, then I would have respected that.” I considered it for a moment. “But I gotta tell you, Mark…Knowing what I know now, I can’t say I think things would have been better that way. I’m glad we’re going to bring a child into this world together. If we can never be together in any other way…That’s fine. But I’m glad to have that much.”
I sat down beside him again, letting out a long exhale. “Because Cat is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. I’m lucky to have her as the mother to my child, and I’m lucky to have had this short time I did with her. I really do love her.”
He was quiet for a long time, and I wouldn’t let myself wait for whatever he was formulating in his head. I wasn’t naive enough to think he’d ever approve of me really being with Cat now. And outside of that, there was nothing else I could say or do. I just had to hope they’d still let me be a part of their lives enough to be involved with our child.
“I’m not the one you should be saying all of this to,” he sighed finally.
“Who else would I say it to?” I laughed sarcastically. “Cat hates me. As she should. I deserve it. I made her feel used. And there’s no point in pouring salt in our wounds. Especially not now that we have to find some way to move forward in a civil manner to raise this baby.”
He stood up and put a firm hand on my shoulder. “I’ve always thought of you as a son. You know that? But I never realized you were so dumb about love. You have to go tell her how you feel.”
“I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than I already have,” I argued.
“Then go talk to her,” he shot back. “Go make this right.”
“Wait. Are you saying…”
“I’m going to need some time to come around to all of this. I can’t stand here and pretend like that’s an easy thing for me to do. But I could see something was making Cat happy in the past couple of months…Happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. I realize now that it was you. So, if you really love her…”
“I do,” I assured him.
“Then if she’ll have you back…you have my blessing,” he nodded. “But if you ever hurt her again, I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp.”
“If she gives me a second chance, I’m going to make her the happiest woman alive or die trying. I can promise you that.”
“You better,” he warned. “Now what are you standing around here still talking to me for? Go get her.”
“Yes, sir.”
I extended my hand to shake his, then we set off for Cat’s place. Finally, I knew exactly what I wanted. Her. All of her—not just sex. I just had to hope she wanted me too.
