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“Mother!” I exclaimed. “First of all, you can’t just say ‘opening your legs’ like that! Second, that’s none of your business!”
“I’m just asking questions…” She waved me off the best that she could. “But your answer has made me realize that you have been sexually active. Be honest with me,mija. Who is it? That gorgeous boss of yours? It seems like he’s pretty tempting…and it’s hard to live with a man that attractive without…something…happening.”
“Yes, mom,” I said, sighing exaggeratedly. She would find some reason to figure out the truth anyways. Why not just tell her? Besides, she’d already told me that she liked him and she’d been rooting for the two of us ever since I started working with Ezra. She didn’t have to know about everyone I’d slept with, though. A daughter deserved the right to keep some secrets from her mother.
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” she told me.
“I’m not pregnant, mom. Can we just drop it?” I asked her and let out a deep breath. “Please?”
She stared at me for a long time, thinking about what she wanted to say before she sighed and nodded. “Fine, fine, I’ll let it go for right now, doesn’t mean that I won’t ask you more in the future. You know I like to know what’s going on in your life. You could stand to open up to me more, you know. I don’t want to make you feel guilty, but you won’t be able to talk to me forever. I may have advice you need, you never know!”
The thought that I could be pregnant had never even crossed my mind. Yes, of course, I knew that having a small bladder and having to pee constantly was a common sign of pregnancy, but with everything happening, I hadn’t been able to piece two and two together. After all, what were the chances that I could be pregnant after one or two encounters? Besides, my mother was probably wrong.
There was nothing she wanted more than for me to have children, and this was probably just her excitement getting the best of her. It’d been a long time since she had me, and there was a chance she was just projecting what she wanted to be true onto my actions.
But the timelines did match up, unfortunately. After all, the last time that I’d slept with Ezra was six weeks ago. And wasn’t that when pregnancy started to show, when women started to get symptoms? And what if I was just worrying myself about nothing? Wasn’t there a thing called false pregnancy? And then again, my “symptoms” could have been caused by my mother even getting these stupid thoughts in my head. I was probably only reacting to the stress of everything that I was going through. And, quite frankly, that was the reason that I wanted to go with, because it was the easiest for me to believe and cope with.
That didn’t mean that I could ignore my mother’s words though. My heart was beating against my chest quite rapidly as I tried to think back to when I had slept with Ezra. I hadn’t been on birth control at the time. I still wasn’t, considering that I wasn’t the kind of woman to just go sleeping around. But the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that I couldn’t remember Ezra slipping a condom on.
In fact, I was almost certain that he’d fucked me raw. It felt too good and happened too fast for us to have used protection. And I hadn’t even thought of taking the morning-after pill. This was beginning to seem bad the more I remembered about our encounters. How had we not thought about any of this and taken any precautions? And if all of this was true, how was Ezra going to react when he found out? He hadn’t bothered to ask me whether or not I was protected, and he’d been the one to suggest that we did all of this.
There was no way that he could say that this was my fault. Yes, maybe I should have told him about not being on birth control, but he’d never asked. That was certainly not something he should have assumed about me. And he was far more experienced with this kind of thing than I was. If he was going around having unprotected sex with everyone he’d been with, who knows how many kids he’d fathered out there in the world. And he definitely should have bought a condom. He had plenty of time to prepare for our “date.” It took two to tango, and if he dared to put all of the responsibility on me, then he would find just how sharp claws I had.
“Maybe you should…” my mother began before the door opened, and one of the nurses walked in. She was a brunette that had been helping us for the past couple of days. She was nice, as well, so I supposed we’d lucked out with that.
“I’m just going to run a few tests,” she told us. “Make sure everything is all good for you to get out of here, as sad as we’ll be to see you go! Is there anything I can get you to make you more comfortable?”
“Actually, I’d like to ask for something for my daughter,” Maria told the nurse. “Do you guys happen to have any pregnancy tests?”
My eyes bulged out of my head when I heard my mother’s words. Was she serious? Was she actually doing this, here, in front of other people? Was she insane? I could feel my entire face turning red from the pure embarrassment that I felt when she had brought this up to the nurse.
“Mom, are you serious?!” I exclaimed.
“If you need one then you need one,mija. There’s no reason for you to feel nervous about it.”
“Well, I do!” I sputtered helplessly.
“Oh stop it.” Her attention turned back to the nurse. “Do you guys have any?”
She nodded, smiling kindly at my frustration. “We do. Let me run these tests, and then I’ll run and get you one.”
The entire atmosphere felt incredibly awkward to me because of the question that my mother had asked, but the nurse seemed to make the best out of it while she wrote notes all over her clipboard and checked the screens monitoring my mother’s conditions.
“Everything looks good,” she reiterated with a smile on her face. “I’m going to report these to the doctor so she can sign the paperwork! I’ll be right back and get you that pregnancy test that you’ve been asking for.”
“Great, thanks,” my mother said, that stupid smirk on her face.
Once the nurse disappeared, I squeezed her hand. “What’s the actual matter with you?” I asked her, unable to believe what she’d just done. This was my personal business, and she was weaving her way into it although I’d never asked for her to.
“Well, baby, you need to know.”
“Not like that I don’t. That wasn’t fair, and you know it. You just want me to be pregnant because you want grandchildren. Mom, it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t even stopped to ask whether or not I’m ready.”
“You’re right,” she said. “And I’m sorry. But this will be good for you. We’ll know for sure, one way or another. Then I’ll ask you if you’re ready.”
I knew that my mother was right, but that didn’t mean that I was ready to accept her words. The nurse came back a few minutes later, and she handed the box to me, a bit awkwardly. “I brought you a two pack, just in case. We always recommend women take at least a couple. You never know if there’s turned out to be a fluke and you get worried or excited over nothing! Trust me on that.”
“Thank you,” my mother told her, and I just nodded, still trying to grasp everything that was happening. My head was spinning.
