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“Ask Aidan.”
Yanking open her door and tossing the bag on the front seat, she climbed in and started the engine, peeling out of the driveway before either of them could stop her. Rolling the windows down, she let the cold air stream over her face to keep her thoughts at bay a little longer. It stung her eyes, and tears gathered there, but she much preferred the physical pain to the maelstrom that swirled behind her rib cage.
She didn’t even realize where she was driving until she pulled up to her parents’ house. Nico was at school, and her parents were gone, so she let herself in through the garage and trudged up to her bedroom with heavy steps.
The door swung in on the same room she’d left not that long ago. Bed neatly made, the few belongings she’d left arranged precisely on top of the dresser. Dropping her bag on the floor and toeing off her shoes, she crawled under the covers, hugged a pillow to her chest, and finally let the pain swamp her.
ChapterThirty
Aidan stared at the empty space where Viv had disappeared. Pregnant. His head swiveled to the piece of bright white plastic on top of the nightstand, and he crossed to it, his heart pounding.
He fisted his hand to keep it from shaking and reached for the test, turning it over in his fingers. Two pink lines. A confirmation. He sank onto the edge of the bed and stared at the proof in his hands. His body was numb.
Seeing those messages on his phone from Liam must have broken her knowing she was already carrying his child. His child. A baby. They were going to have a baby. Assuming she ever wanted to be in the same room with him again.
He wanted to hurl the test across the room just to throw something, but it felt precious, sacred, so he set it gently on the table and dropped his head into his hands, pressing the heel of his palms against his eyes.
Everything he’d always said he never wanted had just walked out on him. He should feel relieved. This had been his plan from the beginning. Get her pregnant, set her up nicely, go on with his life. When had he stopped wanting that? When had she become the only thing he wanted?
Easy. That night she’d asked him for more. He’d been halfway gone for her but still clutching the ledge of what he could control by fingertips. He hadn’t really known why he was still holding on at that point other than it felt familiar and comfortable.
Then she’d told him that if he wanted to keep her, she needed all of him. He’d been more than willing to give it. Like her request had finally given him permission to admit what he’d been too scared to accept. He wanted her and the life they could have together if he just let go.
At a noise from the doorway, he shot off the bed, stumbling as he spun. Viv. He could apologize, make her see that he was truly sorry. But it was only Brogan, standing there with his arms crossed and his face impassive.
“Whatever you’re here to yell at me for, it’ll have to wait. I’m not in the mood.”
“Why did Viv run out of here with an overnight bag looking like being here was physically painful for her?”
Aidan glanced at the test and then up at his brother. “Probably because being here was physically painful for her.”
Brogan took a step into the room. “What did you do?”
“I told her I was waiting to sleep with other women until I got her pregnant.”
“You did what?!”
“Or rather, I told Liam, and she found out.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re an idiot. Do you even know how good you have it with her? She’s the first person you’ve ever met who actually made you commit instead of acting like some base-level primate that humped anything that moves.”
“I know.”
“Here I thought she was finally teasing something that resembled real emotions out of your cold, dead heart. And all this time, you’ve been plotting and planning to break hers. ”
“Fucking hell, Brogan. I didn’t mean it. I might have meant it two months ago when Declan first told me about all of this. It felt like a way to maintain control when everything was spinning. I was going to fake my way through whatever I had to get through until it was done and Declan had what he wanted. A new generation.”
“But?”
Aidan shoved a hand through his damp hair and gripped the back of his neck. “But somewhere along the way, I stopped pretending, and I fell in love with her. I didn’t even realize it happened. I wasn’t sure I was capable of falling in love with anyone.”
“What?”
“It’s not exactly an emotion I’m familiar with. My cold, dead heart, remember? Isn’t that why you think Finn’s death meant nothing to me?”
Brogan’s mouth thinned into a hard line. “I never said that.”
“No. Only that it was my fault.” Aidan chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “And what was it you said a week after the funeral? That you wished it was me instead?”
