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Brogan flinched and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Aidan. I didn’t mean what I said about that any more than you meant what you said about Viv. I was hurt and angry, and you made an easy target.”
“I always have.”
“Explain.”
Suddenly too tired to stand, Aidan moved to one of the chairs flanking the fireplace, and collapsed into it. “Do you know what it's like growing up as the kid who killed your mother?”
He didn’t look up when Brogan leaned against the back of the other chair, his eyes glued to the dark, empty fireplace.
“No,” Brogan said, “And neither do you because you didn’t kill her.”
“Too bad no one said that to Dad when he was still alive. Losing Mom when I was born devastated him. It was easier for him to blame me than it was to blame anyone else. He was hurt, he was angry, and I made an easy target.”
“Aidan…” Brogan began.
“He never remarried. He loved her that much, I guess. Then there was Evie and Declan. He was never the same after she left.”
“Is that why you hate her so much?”
“Yes,” Aidan admitted. “Then you almost lost Libby, watching Cait lose Finn. Why would I want to willingly sign myself up for that kind of avoidable pain? It was so much easier to be cold and dead.”
“Until you met Viv.”
“She’s the first person who didn’t make me feel cold and dead. I knew I was going to fuck it up, and I was right.”
“You should go talk to her. Apologize and—”
“She’s pregnant. And she made it very clear she wanted me to leave her the fuck alone.”
“So that’s it then? You finally realize what you want, and you’re going to give it up without a fight?”
“That’s what she asked me for. How do I make this right, anyway? She’s probably better off without me.”
“Is your kid better off without you too?”
“I’m sure it is. I doubt I’d be any better at being a father than I am at being a husband. It’s better for both of them this way. If I try to fix this, I’ll only hurt her again. And the kid too.”
“If you really believed that, losing her wouldn’t hurt so much.” Brogan straightened, and his voice was stern when he spoke. “I’m disappointed in you.”
Aidan snorted. “Oh, goodie. Can’t wait to hear why.”
“Your entire life, all you’ve ever done is fight for exactly what you want. Right or wrong, win or lose, you ram head first into the problem until it caves or you end up concussed. The one time you have the opportunity to fight for what really matters, and you’ve given up before you’ve even tried.”
It was silent for so long Aidan didn’t realize Brogan had left until he glanced up, and the room was empty. He wanted to believe letting her go, letting her raise their kid to be a better person than he was on her own, would be the right thing to do. But the idea of not having her, of never hearing her laugh again, never feeling her next to him in bed and never seeing their kid grow up twisted something sharp and painful inside him.
Shoving out of the chair, he crossed to the closet and pulled on a sweater. Viv was worth fighting for; there was no question about that. He had and would do whatever it took to keep her safe. He could learn not to hurt her, learn to be better. Whatever he needed to do to be the man she deserved, he’d do it if she gave him another chance.
Right or wrong, win or lose, he’d never stop trying to be the man she needed him to be.
ChapterThirty-One
Viv laid in bed, legs propped up on her headboard, staring at the ceiling. She felt empty. She wished she could stop crying.
Every time she thought she was out of tears, someone made an offhand comment, or she smelled something that reminded her of Aidan, or she saw him in her dreams, and there they were. Streaming down her face and coating her pillow, leaking from her eyes and dampening the hair at her temples like they were right now.
She’d let the pregnancy hormones take the blame for this if she thought it was true. Mostly she was heartbroken. Occasionally she felt stupid. She should have known this was coming, should have known Aidan would do and say anything he could to get what he wanted.
The man deserved an Oscar for the way he’d fooled her over the last few weeks. It would be truly impressive if the result didn’t leave her feeling like an exposed nerve. One wrong move from exploding into unimaginable pain.
