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A part of me wants to soak up as much of him as I can because I know tomorrow we’re back in New Orleans. That same part of me knows he’s staying on board, and I’m headed back to California, something that’s looking less and less like a good idea the longer I think on it.
“We laid by the pool and ate some food and I listened to her go on about how she’s going to be a spinster for the rest of her life.” Kacey chuckles softly, the rumbles within his chest vibrating against me as I breathe in.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes meet mine and I try to hide the fear that rises every time I think about our future, but Kacey’s gaze softens as if he knows exactly what’s racing through my head. “It’s only a few months,” he whispers against the shell of my ear, the tears threaten to fall but I push them away knowing this is not the time.
“I know, I’m just…” I stop myself because I honestly don’t know if I have the words. But before I can even try to find the right ones, Kacey pulls away from me, sitting up and pulling me up until I’m straddling his hips and his arms wrap around my waist.
“You’re scared,” he says to me, and I nod because that’s exactly what I am. “I am too.” My head snaps up, my widened eyes meeting his, and that’s when I see that familiar smile playing on the edge of his lips and I roll my eyes, the tension breaking slightly.
“I don’t want to be scared,” I admit, the vulnerability crashing over me and I hate it. “I hate that we just started and now we’re being ripped apart.” My voice breaks, his eyes softening as his thumbs brush against my cheek before his lips take mine in a light kiss.
“I hate it too, baby. But look at it this way, that fear you feel? That tells you what we have between us is real.” His words settle something deep in my chest as I avoid his eyes, taking deep breaths. “I need you to listen to me Ash, okay?” I nod, my eyes still centered on his chest, but when his fingers graze my chin, lifting it until our eyes meet, I know I have no choice but to look at him. “I’m falling in love with you,” he whispers, cupping the side of my face as I struggle to breathe.
“What?” I whimper, not expecting those words to leave his mouth. Kacey pulls me flush to his chest, his forehead resting on mine as we begin to breathe together.
“These feelings I have for you are bigger than anything I have ever felt before in my life. I need you to know that before you get off this boat tomorrow. I need you to know that once this contract is up I’m coming to you. I don’t care where you are. You are my future.” I start to shake my head, the emotions almost overwhelming.
“Kacey, it’s been like five days. You can’t mean that.” He smirks, kissing me fast and hard before taking my chin between his fingers and pulling my eyes to his.
“Ashley it’s been a hell of a lot longer than five days and you know it. We might have been skirting around our feelings, living on opposite sides of the country, but I’ve known for a long fucking time that you were my one and I won’t lie about that. Not to you.” I can’t believe he’s putting all of this on the line right now and I honestly don’t know what to do. So I do the first thing that comes to my mind…I pull away.
I know immediately it’s the wrong thing to do and when I see that flash of pain in Kacey’s eyes, I know I just ruined the moment. I get up off the bed, resigning myself to the fact that the moment is over and the emotions roaring inside of me are valid, no matter how conflicting they are. Am I falling for Kacey? Of course, I am. I’ve been infatuated with him since I was a teenager so hearing his feelings mirror my own is not only a dream but also my worst nightmare. Everything I have ever wanted has been placed on a silver platter and yet I hesitate to grasp it, knowing that in order to have any of the things I want, sacrifices need to be made. I don’t know if I’m ready or willing to let either of us do that.
“What’s going through your mind right now?” Kacey asks, the fact that he’s asking for my thoughts is almost enough to make me push away all my hesitancy and tell him I’m in one hundred percent. But I stop myself, knowing I need time to gather myself, knowing this is a life-changing decision that can’t be made because of a few days of great sex and chemistry.
“This is all moving so fast Kace. I mean, six days ago I was avoiding you altogether, hell, three days ago we were a secret!” I yell, pacing back and forth as Kace sits stock still in his bed.
“I believe you’re the one that wanted that, not me. I was in from the beginning.” I roll my eyes, wanting so badly to say something sarcastic but stopping myself.
“I know, but you have to think about this from my perspective,” I plead, watching as his anger rises to the surface.
“Your perspective?” he mutters through clenched teeth. “You mean where you avoid any and all conflict and run away to California? Isn’t that what you did when you graduated? Instead of dealing with your parents, you fled. How’s that worked out for you?” The words cut deep, searing my skin, and I rear back, his eyes immediately filling with regret. “Ash, baby I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” he begs, reaching out to take my hand but I back away.
“You know what, I’m gonna head back to my room. I think we both need a little space.” I turn, finding my clothes on the floor and dressing as quickly as I can.
“Ash, please. Just talk to me. I can’t let you walk away like this…not when you leave tomorrow.” I want to tell him that he should have thought about that before he said what he said, but honestly, I don’t have the strength or the want to hash all that out right now. So instead, I just peer over my shoulder, taking him in one last time before I open the door and shut it quietly behind me.
A part of me expects him to come after me, beg me to stay and listen, but he doesn't. And that right there tells me that future he saw with only me in it? It wasn’t as crystal clear as he made it out to be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
KACEY
She left this morning.
I tried to talk to her all night; texting, calling, even going to her room but either she wasn’t there or she was ignoring me. I half expected her to come to the shop before she and Kelsey left, but instead, it was just my sister who walked through that door and that’s when I knew I fucked up.
“You know it’s only a few months, she’ll get over it and you’ll see that all this panic was for nothing,” Reggie says as I slump into one of the tattoo chairs and stare at the ceiling. “It might not feel like it now, but I promise everything will work out.” I shake my head, that sense of doubt creeping back into the recesses of my mind.
“How do you know?” I ask, lifting my head and glaring in his direction. “How could you possibly know that everything will work out when the woman I’m in love with won’t even text me back.” Reggie smirks, making the anger grow within my chest, and before I can yell something I regret, he grunts and comes to stand beside me.
“I know you’re angry and to be honest I’m glad you are.” I arch a brow, wondering how insulting me is going to help either of us in the conversation. “You said some pretty shitty things to a woman you claim to love and having to sit in that regret is something that will never leave you. You’ll change because of it, and I think that’s exactly what Ashley wants.” Sometimes I think this man speaks in riddles just to fuck with me.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I mutter, staring back at the ceiling as Reg leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest.
“You told me that Ashley was worried about your ability to stick to her, be faithful to the future you promised her.” I nod, my heart sinking at the memory of that conversation. It plays like a nightmare every time I close my eyes and I know if I could go back to that moment in time, I would do so many things differently. “Having her leave, like she expects you to do eventually, lets you see a glimpse of what she fears.” It’s like a lightbulb flashes to life behind my eyes. I honestly never thought of it that way. “Now, I don’t think Ashley did any of this on purpose, she doesn’t seem like that kind of person.” I shake my head, knowing she’s not. “But I do think she’s protecting her heart.” Fucking hell, he’s right.
“I just want to fix this.” He nods, understanding filling his gaze. “How do I fix this?” I plead, hoping he has the answer but when I see that pitying look in his eyes, I deflate.
