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“I did.”
I swallowed. “Well, thank you.”
Lucas was so close that either of us could reach out and touch the other. But I didn’t. Still, that same crackle of electricity was in the air between us as when I’d reached out and grabbed his belt. Something huge and desperate and unspoken.
And for the first time, I allowed myself to really notice Lucas as he was. Tall and broad and beautiful. Right now he had a shadow of stubble on his sharp jaw—a jaw I wanted to touch. His warm brown eyes were watching me, and the way he looked at me didn’t feel terrifying. It felt...
Like something I hadn’t felt in a really long time.
The sun shone down on his hair, making it seem more red than brown. And his body—the size that had made me instantly fear him—now made me feel safe. What would it be like to be touched by him? More than touched.
I blushed again, and the charge between us grew painful. Lucas’s gaze dropped to my lips, and for the briefest moment I thought he might lean down and kiss me. And I thought I might let him.
The only person I’d ever been with was Nathan. And he’d kind of ruined the whole idea of being with anyone. But looking at Lucas now was like waking up to whole new possibilities.
“Where would you have gone?” he asked, voice lower, like he was struggling not to reach out the way he wanted to.
“If I had left?”
He nodded.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Normally, I have a plan, but this time, I didn’t. I had the overwhelming urge to get out, so I would have just started to drive. Probably east.”
His head tilted a little. “What’s east? Family?”
“Yeah.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I have a sister I haven’t seen in a while. It hasn’t been in the cards, but I really miss her.”
I wasn’t telling him the whole truth, and he knew that. I could see it. But this would have to happen in stages if I wanted it to happen at all. But true to form, he didn’t call me out for it.
“Okay,” I said. “That was all I wanted. To apologize, but also to say thank you. For being there. For distracting me and bringing me back.”
“It was my pleasure.”
I pressed my lips together for a moment, struggling to contain strong emotions—hope and relief and something else entirely. “Guess I’ll head back now.”
Lucas reached out a hand and froze. I froze too. He looked like he was trying to figure out the right words to say. “Yesterday, when you grabbed my belt.”
Embarrassment rose, hot and visceral. Like I’d stepped into a room that was ten degrees warmer than where we were standing. “I’m sorry.”
Lucas shook his head. “I’m not angry. I just—” He sighed and looked at me. “I want you to know that I don’t take that for granted.”
His hand was still outstretched, and I stared at it for long moments. It almost felt like I was watching from outside my body as I stepped closer to Lucas. Inside the range of that arm that was reaching for me the same way that I reached for him. And I watched from a distance as Lucas wrapped his arms around me.
And then I was very much present in my own body. Lucas was just as warm as he’d been yesterday, just as hard and strong. I closed my eyes and let him hold me.
The scent of pine surrounded me, along with the tangible scent of mountain wind, and then he was holding me closer. With a rush of breath, Lucas held me. One arm came hard around my waist and the other slid up my spine and into my hair. It was the kind of desperate motion that was barely conscious.
The rush of emotion took me by surprise. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized how starved for touch I’d been. Tears flooded my eyes, though thankfully he couldn’t see them. God, how long had it been since I’d been touched by anyone at all? I never wanted to move from this spot. It was a release. Like Lucas touching me freed me from the anxiety that I’d been carrying for years.
Lucas’s arms curled further around me, cradling me to his chest like I meant something. More than that, like I meant everything.
Grabbing a belt loop with each hand, I held on to him. The breaths I took felt like the first full breaths I’d taken in forever. Nothing but Lucas could touch me here. This place was a refuge, and I knew that even after he let me go, I would return to this moment.
I didn’t know how long we stood there together. It felt like eternity but yet only seconds at the same time. But Lucas took a step back, and now there was something between us we couldn’t go back from. And I didn’t mind.
“See you for dinner later?” he asked.
It was the day for his communal dinner. I’d nearly forgotten about it. “Yeah, definitely.”
