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There were unsaid words on both of our lips, but I didn’t know how to say them. I didn’t know if I could say them. But there was no way I would be missing dinner.
When I got back to the Bitterroot House, I looked at the suitcase that was still sitting by the door, opened so that I could fish out my pajamas and toothbrush.
I picked up the suitcase and carried it back to the bedroom. With the lid flipped open on my bed, I unpacked it. Completely. Every single thing that I had in the suitcase I put into a drawer. And then I put the suitcase into the small closet.
There wasn’t a time since I’d started to run that I’d had an empty suitcase. Too often, it wasn’t worth it.
I wasn’t going to pretend that the idea of staying here—committing to staying here—didn’t make me anxious. It did. I was terrified of what would happen if Nathan found me again. And what that would mean for the people around me. But I would do it.
And in spite of the terror singing in my gut, that empty suitcase made me feel lighter. Better. And any step in that direction was a good one.
Chapter 11
Lucas
Another sleepless night left me tired, but I would take every sleepless night I had to in order to keep the progress that I’d made with Evelyn.
The fact that she’d let me touch her yesterday gripped my thoughts. The way she’d stepped forward and into my arms—it had been her choice. The way she’d melted against my chest, and the way I’d almost let myself go too far when I’d pulled her close.
God, I didn’t know what this was yet, but it was powerful. Who would have thought that a finger in a belt loop could be so significant? She’d stayed, and she’d taken the first step. Little by little she was coming out of her shell, and maybe soon she might trust me enough to tell me everything.
She’d retreated at dinner, which I’d expected. After something as intense as that embrace, I’d known that she would need space again. But she’d still been there, and she’d smiled as she helped me cook.
This morning, I’d refreshed my email before I’d gotten out of bed, hoping that Jerry had emailed the footage. He had. It had taken me a good couple hours to go through it. But there was nothing out of the ordinary. Just people walking down the street, no one intentionally making circuits around Deja Brew or acting like they had an unnatural interest.
And unfortunately, even though I knew when Evelyn had been triggered, there was nothing I could isolate. There had been multiple people outside the shop at the time, and with things like this, it could have been anything. I doubted that she was ready to talk about it.
I’d taken down descriptions of the people outside the shop just in case before I’d come into town. But now that I was here, all I wanted to do was go back and check on Evelyn.
Crowding her wasn’t a good idea, but I wanted to see her. As soon as I had the thought, it was like the universe delivered. I glanced behind me in the rearview mirror and did a double take. Was that Evelyn? In town?
Errands had built up until I couldn’t ignore them anymore, so I’d come to town to take care of them. But Ev didn’t work today. So why was she coming out of the library? Coming into town alone had to make her nervous after what had happened. Was that why she looked like she was shaking?
I pulled into a parking spot on the side of the street and stepped out. It was her, and she didn’t look good. Pale, and hurrying in my direction, though she hadn’t seen me yet. “Ev,” I called, and she startled before seeing that it was me.
Her smile was nervous as I approached.
“I didn’t know you’d come into town today,” I told her.
She shrugged, pretending to be casual in spite of the tension in her body. “I had a couple of things I needed to do.”
“Are you okay?”
She hesitated. “Yes.”
It was a lie. Clearly. There was a sheen of sweat on her forehead and though she was already pale, her skin was nearly translucent. I tried to push down the rising frustration. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Fuck. I’d thought that we were making progress, but it was obvious that she still didn’t trust me. There wasn’t anything I could imagine that would make me judge her. I had a hell of a past too. I breathed through the urge to push her harder. This would take time. “Have you seen much of the town yet?”
“Not much. Took me a while to even find the library.”
“Can I show you around? Some of the humble sights?”
She took a half breath, and I thought she might refuse, but she nodded. “Okay.”
“Perfect.” She was on edge, and as long as Ev was nervous, there was no chance in hell that she would talk about anything. But maybe I could get her to relax enough to remember that I wasn’t her enemy. That she could trust me. As much as I wanted to know everything, I could and would be patient.
