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She sighed again. “Fine, hold on.”
The line went dead as the curtains fell back into place and Lennon disappeared. She was coming down, and in a few seconds, I’d face her for the first time in days. She had hardly spoken to me, and who could blame her? The last time I had seen her, I had treated her like a piece of shit. If I were her, I’d never speak to me again, but there she was, tiptoeing through her front door, wearing an oversize Iron Maiden T-shirt and black leggings.
God, I love her.
The abrupt thought was intrusive, slamming against my mind without warning. My lungs gasped, and my eyes widened in reaction as she held on to a white porch post and headed down the steps.
“Okay, I’m out here,” she said, wrapping her arms around her middle and shuffling down the walkway in her fuzzy black slippers. “I’m tired, and you caught me in the middle of aSupernaturalepisode. So, make it quick.”
She came to stand only a foot away from me, and the wind blew gently to bring the orchids she carried in her hair to my nose. Taking a deep breath, I remembered that her scent and everything else wasn’t mine. She could’ve been, maybe, if I hadn’t been such a closed-off piece of crap months ago, but she wasn’t now. Yet she was who I went to when I needed to talk. She was the one who brought me comfort and peace. She was my inspiration, the driving force to keep me going every time I thought to quit, and I had never been more in love with anyone before in my entire life.
Hell, I wasn’t sure I’d ever been in love at all. Not like this.
She might not have been mine, and she might never be. But I knew then, standing before her on a flagstone pathway beneath a crescent moon, that my heart would always be hers.
Lennon sniffed a confused laugh and shook her head. “You’re weirding me out,” she said, staring at me as I stared back at her.
“Sorry,” I said, somehow finding the ability to speak.
“What’s up?”
“Nothin’,” I lied, raising my eyes to the overhead trees. “I just, uh …” I chuckled, forcing away thoughts of love and commitment. “I guess I wanted to see if you’d actually come out or not.”
“So, you’re testing me,” she grumbled, unamused.
“Yeah,” I replied, forcing another chuckle that felt like nothing in my heart. “You passed.”
“Great,” she said with a groan, rolling her eyes and dropping her arms to her sides. “Thanks. I’m gonna go back to watching Dean Winchester now.”
“You do that.”
Lennon tried to fight her smile, but to no avail, as she lifted a limp hand in a wave before turning to shuffle her way back to the porch. I watched as my mind screamed to stop her, to confess everything that had occurred to me in just a few moments’ time. If I did nothing else in my life, confessing that I was capable of loving someone seemed more important than anything else, and the words dangled from my open lips as she gripped the post and began to take that first step to the door.
“Lennon,” I said, convincing my legs to go to her, and go to her, we did.
“Yeah?” She turned to see me walking up the path toward her. Uncertainty crumpled her brow as I stood before her, nearly closing the space between us. “What?”
Her lips were tipped toward mine, as if begging to be taken. I wondered if Peter kissed her as well as I could, knowing it didn’t matter now. She had made her choice, and I could accept it—I had to. But I needed to solidify my place in her life now, to ensure I wasn’t going anywhere, that she could count on me—always. It was better than nothing, no matter how badly it hurt, so I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her against me.
“And we’re hugging now,” she stated, speaking slowly. Unsure but amused.
“Do you know you’re my best friend?” I asked, lowering my chin to touch the top of her head.
There was hesitation from her before she spoke. “I thought Simon was your best friend,” she said.
“He is,” I replied. “But I can’t talk to him the way I talk to you. You get things nobody else gets. You see me, the same way I see you.”
Her arms tightened around me, and I closed my eyes.
“I think it’s because we’re both in that invisible disability club,” she said, injecting a lightness in her tone. But neither of us laughed. “You’re one of my best friends too. Even if you do piss me off.”
“I promise I’ll never piss you off again,” I said, releasing her from my hold and taking a step back. There was skepticism on her face that made me laugh. “Okay, I’lltrynot to.”
“Good,” she said, reaching out to rub my arm. “Good night, Dylan.”
Pulling in a deep breath, I nodded. “Good night, Lennon.”
My body begged to hold her against me, to feel if her heart knew mine as intimately as mine thought it knew hers. I wanted to remind her lips of what it was like to kiss me, if only to make her forget all about Peter and whatever happiness she might’ve found with him. She wanted normal, and he gave her that, but what the hell good was normal when it didn’t light a fire in your soul?
