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“We can plan and stuff now,” Griffin scoffed, but his eyelids were drooping.
“No, you two need energy, otherwise everything will go through one ear and out the other, and Ember and I will have to do all the hard work.” I glared at Griffin and then Cassian, smirking at their halfhearted hurt expressions. “Go, before I burn your asses or give you another shower. My water isn’t hot though.” I held my palms up for emphasis, one filled with ice cold water and the other had a flame bobbing happily.
Cassian put his hands up and yanked Griffin from the stool. “Fine. I’ll take the floor. You take the bed. If you snore, I will punch you.”
Clearly exhaustion made them forget that they didn’t like each other; they sounded more like brothers than enemies. I preferred it, but that would make our little love triangle even more complicated. Can’t we all just live together, like the Sister Wives program… I cringed at the thought. No way. In that case, sharing is NOT caring. Which meant that eventually, once we knew more, I would have to choose. I groaned inwardly. The closer I got to Griffin, the more I felt like we were right together, but Cassian had been part of my life for such a long time. He was my first real crush and I was terrified of losing my best friend. Maybe the whole thing with Griffin was just lust. The sexual tension was insane and maybe that was clouding my actual feelings for him.
“Good call on telling them what happened later. In that state, they wouldn’t have taken anything in,” Ember said quietly as the door slammed shut. Her voice pulled me from my thoughts and I could feel the color creep to my cheeks. Thank goodness she couldn’t read my mind.
“Are you tired? You can sleep on the couch if you’d like. They will probably be out for a few hours,” I suggested. I could sleep a bit more, but at the same time I was wired.
Ember stared at me for a little while and then poured another mug of coffee. She grabbed a croissant from the fridge and handed one to me; everything always seemed to be fresh but I never saw Griffin come back with groceries. I wasn’t complaining though.
“I wouldn't be able to sleep even if you drugged me. I want to know more about you,” she said and bit into the soft pastry. “What went through your mind when you found out about our world?”
“So many things. I grew up with Michael and Kelly. I never once suspected that they weren’t my real parents. They put me in the best school, bought the best clothes and made sure I was happy. It changed a little when I became a teenager. I had to keep myself busy most of the time, except when they had these lavish events. Kelly became distant, more so when I wasn’t the girly-girl she expected me to be. Michael supported me though, as much as he could. But arguments became a normal thing in the house and I jumped when Cassian told me to join him at NYU.” I chewed on my lip at all of the memories. “I met him in high school and for the longest time he was my escape; from the events and the parties and always keeping up appearances.”
Ember’s attention was fully on me. “How did you two become friends?”
“I don’t know. I was a bit of a loner, Cassian was the popular guy. It was like a movie; some bitchy girl decided to pick on me and he came riding in on his white horse and told her to back off. From that day, we were inseparable. He’s my best friend.” I wanted to tell Ember about the conflicting emotions, but I held back. If she told Cassian, he would be really pissed, and that would be the end of our friendship. “Anyway, before I left for NYU, I started having these vivid dreams, my emotions went haywire, and a short while into my first year I lost control and burned the library down. Apparently my real mother put a block on my powers and when I turned 21, it overwhelmed me. Griffin saved me from my own mess and pulled me out of the library. You know the rest…”
She nodded, I’d filled her in on the rest earlier. There was no judgment. She considered everything I said and the apartment fell quiet while she processed everything. “Do you love him?”
“Who?”
“Both of them?” She asked and studied my expression.
I thought about it for a while. “I don’t know. I never expected my life to take this turn, and in the beginning Griffin was really mean to me. Cassian has been part of my life for so long, and I had the biggest crush on him, but now it feels like everything has changed. I feel connected to both of them in different ways, and I still feel really confused. Clearly the mating bond is a huge commitment and… I’m just not ready for it yet.”
Ember nodded again, more to herself, but I appreciated the acceptance. “You don’t need to worry about me saying anything to Cassian. You have a lot on your plate, and I don’t think you need more stress. If you ever want an outsider opinion, you can talk to me.”
I wanted to. Ember had a safe feeling about her, and it was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe I could tell her a little bit more. “Honestly, I have this crazy attraction to Griffin. On the days when he isn’t an arrogant asshole, it feels like he’s the male version of me. He’s been through so much, and he’s developed coping mechanisms, but sometimes he lets the walls down, and that’s when I really feel the connection. I’m drawn to him like a magnet.” I picked at a piece of paper in front of me. I couldn’t look at Ember. “On the other hand, there’s Cassian. He’s so gentle and caring, but sometimes he’s overprotective. I feel the bond, but it’s so different. I’m terrified of ruining our friendship and… and I don’t know if I see him as more than a friend.”
Ember stayed quiet for a long while. I glanced up to try to decipher what she was thinking but her expression was blank. “Have you spoken to either of them about how you feel?”
I shook my head. “No. We have more important things to deal with at the moment. Samara is trying to kill me, and there is a possible war right around the corner. Relationship drama has taken a backseat. I’ll deal with it once we save the world.”
“I do not envy you. I thought your life was chaotic when I met you, that was clearly an understatement.” Ember rummaged through the fridge again and pulled out a bottle of wine. She held it up to me, waiting for my go-ahead.
“It’s still morning.” I grinned at her.
She dove back in and mumbled a “Fine.” Seconds later she sat down with a bottle of champagne and orange juice. “Mimosas don’t count.”
The hours ticked by while we spoke about mundane things. I tried to think about other things, but I kept drifting back to my situation with Griffin and Cassian. I had to tell Cassian about the kiss. It was either that or keep Griffin at arms length and risk him cutting me off while avoiding Cassian’s questions about us and our future together. My heart was torn two ways, and even though the world was slowly crumbling, my feelings for them threatened to consume me. On the bright side, I did feel lighter after speaking to Ember about it. We hadn’t stopped talking since the whole incident earlier and I wanted to know more about her. I started to like her more and more as we spoke.
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted a girlfriend through all of this craziness. I couldn’t see myself feeling comfortable enough to open up to Morgan like this, and I had no doubt that if I did, she would run straight to Griffin. Her feelings had been clear from the start, and as much as I appreciated her effort to be nice, I had a feeling she was doing it to please Griffin.
