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This time, I’d really bitten off more than I could chew. But I was going to keep it together, and hopefully, I’d get the chance to unleash all of this power on Cedric. He’d sent us a surprise, attacking the city yet again. And I intended to give him one in return, more chaos than he could handle.
“I can,” I answered Lucian, sitting up and accepting the glass of water.
I wasn’t going to tell him I felt off-balance. That would be foolish. It would just give him another reason to be upset and worried.
“Are you sure?” he grumbled, his brows furrowed so tightly it looked painful. “You look pale.”
"Really, I'm okay. And I know you're angry with me, Lucian, but I had to do something.” I sipped the water. “The last remaining gods who aren’t already infected would be, eventually. And honestly, having to fight off an army of infected gods would be ten times worse than dealing with souls." I handed the glass back to him when I suddenly recalled hearing Rumir.
I looked around and suddenly noticed the Goddess standing by the door, her hands behind her back. I couldn't see her face, but I could feel her eyes on me.
"I wanted to wait and see if you were okay," she said. "And I need to know… Natalie, did you get through to Rumir last night?”
I nodded. "I did. My memory's a bit foggy, so I just remembered, but I did. I think the power boost allowed me to talk to him. But all he said was that I shouldn’t try to find him."
No, he’d said that I should stay away.
“Why would he say that?” Brian walked into the room, asking the same question I was asking myself.
The Goddess came to stand beside me. “Cedric,” the Goddess grumbled. “Rumir’s trying to keep you away from Cedric.”
“I’m not going to stay away,” I said, finding it crazy that Rumir would even think that was possible.
I didn’t care what Cedric was planning. I was going to find them both—to save my mate…and my home. Cedric was bent on its destruction. But I wouldn’t let that happen, even if it killed me. And if I absorbed any more chaos, it just might.
“Did you get any sense of Rumir’s location?” Lucian asked.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “No,” I said after a while. “There was so much going on last night. I was just trying not to explode.”
"But he heard you," the Goddess said. "He heard you, and he replied. That's good. I'm going to contact Yelena and see if they've found anything in their search. As for you, Natalie… You need to rest. What you did last night was incredible, but the strain of it is showing. You're very, very pale."
My lips formed a thin line, but I nodded. "Okay."
“Don’t think I don’t value what you did, Natalie. You saved many, many lives,” she added. “Every god present last night, as well as the souls who left with Hekate—they owe you. But I know how much it cost you.” Then she nodded and left the room.
"You're crazy, you know that, right?" Brian said, pushing off the wall by the window. "You're crazy, but last night, what you did—I've never seen anything like it."
He exhaled heavily and buried his hands in his pockets.
“Get some rest, okay?” he said, then nodded at Lucian. “And you, take it easy on her.” He offered a smirk, and then he left too.
Lucian walked over to the window, his back turned to me. I sighed, and got up, crossing the room to him.
He didn't say anything, but just stared out the window. I didn't sense that he was angry anymore, but I could tell he wasn't happy either.
“Lucian,” I began to say when he shook his head.
He turned to me, and to my surprise, he pulled me in for a hug. We held each other tight, and after a few minutes, I pulled back just enough to look up at him.
"No lecture?" I asked. When it was clear he wasn't going to answer, I touched his cheek.
“You asked Rumir and me to trust you," he said.
I thought back to the conversation I'd had with them before we left for Esavale. I'd indeed asked them to trust me, and they’d both reluctantly agreed.
And Lucian had honored that agreement, even though my actions last night had been incredibly reckless.
"I can’t say I approve of what you did, Natalie. Whenever there is a possibility you might be hurt, I'll never be on board entirely, ever. But I understand that you have a duty—a hard one—and I can't stand in the way." He caressed my cheek. "I wish you didn't have to go through this."
He was tugging on my heartstrings, and I leaned forward, resting my forehead on his chest.
"I wish you hadn’t had to do what you did last night, but the Goddess was right. You saved us. You saved me," he added, kissing the top of my head.
“And we’re going to save Rumir next," I mumbled against him.
He held me close once more, and we remained like that, with Lucian's arms trapping me in warmth.
But as good as this felt, I couldn't shake the weight on my chest, or my chaos scratching at my insides like nails on a chalkboard.
