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The thoughts, the vivid gruesome images in my mind, were unbearable, and I'd never forget them. Chaos was a destructive power capable of good and beauty, but when given to those unable to control it, it became the epitome of evil.
Tedara had chosen me because she believed I could control my rage, that my determination to protect would override chaos's need to create terror. Now, I was fighting to hold onto that determination more than ever, and Tedara’s damn whispering wasn’t helping!
My flesh was burning, and my insides felt twisted and mangled.
“Natalie,” Brian said softly.
I bared my fangs at him. I could barely see his face through the rain and tears clouding my eyes. The world had turned red—blood red.
"Natalie," Lucian whispered, kneeling down in front of me. "I'm right here. We're all right here with you." His eyes roamed my body with worry. "Why are you so stubborn? Absorbing all of that chaos could have killed you.”
I wanted to laugh through the pain at him calling me stubborn, but couldn't. I so desperately wanted to explode. The thought was almost euphoric. How great would it feel to unleash my power?
When I felt Lucian’s bite mark on my shoulder become warm—and our bond snap to life—I took a sharp breath. I was reminded of his love for me. And Rumir’s, as well.
“Rumir," I called telepathically, and as I did, I felt my bond to him react.
My eyes widened. Did he hear me? With all this power I'd just absorbed, perhaps I could reach him.
“Rumir!” I screamed. “Where are you? Answer me!”
“Stay away,” Rumir said in my mind.
I fell to my knees. “Rumir!” I screamed out loud. “Tell me where you are!”
The Goddess rushed forward, but my connection with him was already starting to fade, as were the red veins on my body. My power was settling, but I didn't want it to just yet.
“Rumir?” I called again. I rocked back on my heels, the strain on my body finally kicking in. "Tell me where you are."
My words were slurred, as if I’d had too much to drink. When I fell this time, Lucian caught me.
“I heard him,” I said softly, the red veil over my eyes lifting. “I heard him, Lucian.”
Then the world went black.
* * *
Natalie
When my eyes opened, I was staring up at a white ceiling. My thoughts were fuzzy, but I clearly remembered what I'd done. And other things started slowly coming back to me, like Hekate leaving with Elinor, Will, and all the souls in the city.
Without looking around, I knew Lucian was in the room, as were the Goddess and Brian.
With all the power I’d gained from Tedara’s chaos, I eventually stopped feeling hunger, just like the gods. I also didn't need to sleep, so while I hadn’t dreamt just now, falling unconscious had felt nice, oddly enough.
I had been overtaken by peaceful darkness, but now I was awake, and I could feel the toll on my body from taking in too much chaos—again. It was like I'd overeaten, and my body felt stuffed and heavy, and I wanted to bring everything back up.
It felt terrible.
There was a beam of light on my hand, and I exhaled, relieved that it was morning.
“Natalie?” Lucian appeared by my side with a glass of water in hand. “Can you sit up?”
He sounded gentle, but I could sense his anger. It was shimmering just under the surface, and once he knew I was okay and could be lectured, I would get the full force of his irritation.
Of course, I’d known he would be upset.
The first time I’d absorbed additional chaos, I almost died. And I’d been warned never to do it again. So of course, I had to do a second time, though I’d gained some control over my chaos, and it was no longer slowly killing me. Still, it had hurt—a lot. And I could tell that this time, a bit of rest wasn't going to help.
