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"You know damn well they're not, now get your big ass in this tent before I shove something in there! And don't you roll your eyes at me, mister!" she exclaimed at the same time Raph rolled his eyes.
I winced at that, but also felt like I could've lived my whole life without thinking about Raphael getting ass fucked by Mother Moon knew what.
Raphael gaped, probably wondering how Del knew that he rolled his eyes, then slowly slid back into the tent.
Javier shook his head at them. "Never a dull moment."
I grinned at him. "But you love them."
"I do, and I love you, Rosa. Never forget that. And the pack loves and misses you."
"I know that," I said. They may have treated me differently because of Javier, but I never questioned whether they cared about me. They cared about the both of us, even back when our parents died and our previous alpha gained custody over us. They all had to bear witness to Javier's extensive training and felt sorry for him. Many of them comforted me, assuring me that Javier would be okay, even when I felt like the Javier I knew would be wiped away. Lost to the cruelty of our alpha's training.
Raphael and his brothers played a big part in making sure Javier wouldn't be emotionally scarred after that day he yelled at me. When I ran off, Raph and his brothers found me, and let me stay in their home for the night. When Javier came to retrieve me, Raph and his oldest brother Leo got in his face and ripped him apart for the way he treated me. We were close to them since, and thankfully Javier never lost himself.
"It's not that I wasn't happy back home, it's just that I wanted to find my own path, you know? But now it feels like I failed and the idea of going back a failure makes me feel like shit."
"Rosa, you didn't fail." Javier spoke with such tenderness.
"It feels like I did," I whispered, swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat.
My gaze fell to the ground, but I heard Javier getting up from his spot and moving over to sit beside me. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I relaxed into my brother's embrace while he rubbed my arm and kissed the top of my head. His comfort helped ease some of the tension I felt but a single tear managed to fall from my eye.
"Listen to me, okay?" Javier began. "Just because you have to retreat and regroup does not mean you failed. What makes you fail is if you give up entirely, which you're not doing, right?"
I shook my head. "Of course not."
"Good." Javier nodded approvingly.
"Retreating means you live to fight another day. Retreating gives you time to think of a counterattack. It also means you're able to learn from your mistakes so when you go out again, you're better prepared. Because now you have experience from the first time. Coming back home doesn't make you a failure, Rosalinda, nor does knowing you can't fight this battle alone. However,"—Javier held up a finger—"do not come back home because you feel like you have to. Despite what Del says, the decision has always been yours. Do what's right for you and your mates. Whatever you decide, we'll do everything we can to help you. No matter what, you're not alone in this."
It was moments like this that made me glad to have Javier with me. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle all of this without him. His words were nearly the same as our grandmother's when we planned to separate indefinitely. But now she, too, was captured somewhere, unless Pierce already killed her. That was his threat, wasn't it? If I didn't accept the mate bond, he'd kill abuelita. There was no way to tell if she was still alive or not. After we rescue Joaquin, I hoped we'd also find what happened to her. To either bring her back home safe and sound or collect her remains. I prayed to any deity who would listen for the former.
"Thanks, Javier," I said softly, resting my head on his shoulder. "If only Mom and Dad could see what a great Alpha you turned out to be. They'd be proud of you."
"They'd be proud of you, too."
"I doubt that. Mom didn't want me to deal with this shit, remember? She's probably rolling in her grave now that I know everything."
"Don't think like that. Mom may not have wanted this life for you, but I think she'd be proud of how you've been handling it all."
"Handling it all by running away?" I asked sarcastically. Now that he mentioned it, I wondered what my parents would've thought about me taking on the responsibilities of the Wolf Moon’s gift? Would they at least be proud of how I stood up to Pierce? I knew some of my choices would be questionable to them, but I at least hoped that they would be proud.
"You're not running away, Rosalinda. I wish you'd stop thinking that way," Javier said, sounding exacerbated by my negativity. "You are doing the best you can, and that's all anybody can ask of you."
Yeah, but my best could mean life or death, I wanted to say but if I did, I knew Javier would want me to elaborate. I didn't want to tell them about Atropos's vision, at least not yet. Hopefully I wouldn't have to.
Sighing, I pulled myself to my feet. "Thanks, Javier. I'm really glad you're here."
"Of course, I'd be here. You're my sister, no? It's my job to look out for you, pack or no pack."
Fair enough.
I leaned down and gave him one last hug before I went off to search for my twins. I could sense Kao from a distance through our mate bond. He still seemed to be in wolf form, frolicking through the woods. I was worried about him, how he was handling everything. I could feel the inner turmoil he was going through, but he was so stubborn keeping it to himself. If it went on for too long, I was going to have to help him get his head out of his ass and let us be there for him. We all felt helpless about our current situation, not just him. He needed to remember this wasn't just about him, but all of us. We were in this together.
ROSIE
I mentally searched for Kai next, feeling him closer to me than Kao. I removed my clothing setting it behind a thick tree root close to the campsite before shifting into my wolf form and followed the mental trail to my mate. I could hear the creek long before I found it. The faintest trickle of water followed by slashing that must've come from Kai's movements.
