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My wolf jumped through the clearing and came to a halt when the creek came into view, a single silhouette of a person in the middle of the water. I shifted and stood on my feet. Kai had his back to me, his back muscles flexing as he arched back slightly and ran his fingers through his jet-black hair. With how soft and gentle Kai was, it was almost hard to remember that he was pretty fit. Kai hovered directly in the center of the moon's reflection of the water. The pale beam sharpening his features, giving him an ethereal look. He must've sensed my presence because he swiftly turned to face me, his body tightened suspecting a threat, but instantly relaxed when he noticed it was me.
"Oh, Rosie." Kai smiled brightly.
Not wanting to stand there, dry, and naked as the day I was born, I stepped into the water, hissing when the ice-cold temperature bit into my skin. Once I was waist deep, I held my breath and dunk, swimming over to where Kai was before emerging back up. I spit out the water pooling around my lips and peeled back my wet, matted hair. Kai wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. Mine instinctively went to his neck, feeling my body meshed against his.
Skin to skin, my insides came alive. Kai's expression when he looked at me had me feeling like I was the rarest of treasures. A diamond in the rough that Kai wanted to ensure that it kept on shining. The effect my men had on me was electrifying, a drug that I didn't mind getting addicted to. There was nothing better than having more than one man desiring you to the point of sharing you with those equally wanting to commit to you and treat you like a queen. Men who would fight for you, who would give their lives for you.
The way that Kao and Kai wanted to fight for me.
The way that Joaquin surrendered himself so we could escape.
Yet, here I was, being selfish and not wanting to return to Javier's pack where I knew the twins would be safe.
"Rosie?" Kai's voice broke me from my reverie, and I looked up to see the concern etched on his beautiful face.
"Sorry," I said faintly.
"Are you still thinking about what Del said yesterday?"
"Partly, but I'm also thinking about you, Kao, and Joaquin." I noticed the sharp pang in my gut from speaking Joaquin's name. Just saying it had my wolf wanting to hunt for him again. I pushed her back, but I could feel her pushing back in protest. She eventually settled down, but I knew sooner or later she'd break through.
Kai's expression darkened a little. "You miss Joaquin?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry, Rosie."
I arched an eyebrow at that. "What for?"
"Because it's my fault. Joaquin got himself captured because of me."
"What?" I jumped back in surprise, my hands moving to grip his biceps. "What the hell makes you think it's your fault?"
"You were there, Rosie. You saw what happened. Joaquin pushed me out of the way when he saw that beta wolf jump over the truck and was targeting me. If Joaquin hadn't done that, if I had been prepared for it, he would've still been here."
Ave Madre Luna don't tell me Kai had been harboring all this resentment towards himself and not said anything about it. I knew what he was talking about. I did see Joaquin push him out of the way to take on that beta wolf, but that didn't mean Joaquin's capture was his fault. I hated that he thought it was.
"Kai, honey." I reached up to cup his cheek. "It's not your fault."
"It is my fault!" Kai lashed out with a slight crack in his throat near the end. He wouldn't look me in the eyes when he said it. His gaze was firmly on the water, his teeth clenched together, and his body visibly shook. Pain and regret bled out of him, submerging him much like the water pooling around us, and I was worried that he would drown in it.
"If I hadn't been so weak," he got out through gritted teeth. "If I had done better against Alpha Pierce, or if I jumped in to help Joaquin, then maybe none of this would've happened. I should've been the one taken hostage, not Joaquin. At least if he was here instead of me, maybe then you'd stand a better chance at taking on Pierce in a fight. But instead, you're stuck with me, the loser of the pack. The weakest one out of all of us. I'm sorry, Rosie. I'm so sorry, P'Joaquin.Kor tôht."
My eyes squeezed shut, my body shuddering with every broken word Kai spoke. Each one was a silver stake piercing my skin, burning me from the inside out. I wanted to cry. Instead, I pulled Kai to me and held him as tight as I could muster. I felt tiny droplets hitting my lower back, and I knew they were his tears. Clearly Kao wasn't the only one feeling powerless, but here Kai was thinking we would've been better off if he took Joaquin's place and that nearly had my heart ripping to pieces.
"I don't ever want to hear you saying something like that again," I growled. "You hear me, Kai Trivinij? Don't ever say that again."
"But—"
"No buts." I cut him off before he made an attempt to protest. I pushed him forward, grabbing his face to make sure he looked me in the eyes. So much grief was etched into those bronze-colored orbs of his.
"Listen to me and listen well, mister, I better not ever hear you say any of that stuff again. You're not weak, you're not a loser, and whether it's Joaquin who's held captive or you, we still would be in the same predicament. We wouldn't be better off without you, and I'd be just as anxious if it were you. The only difference would be if you were the one as Pierce's prisoner, Kao would be as frantic as I am to get you back. Maybe more. Don't ever undervalue your worth to us like that."
Kai looked as if he still wanted to argue with me but remained quiet. I wished there was something I could say that could convince him of how much he meant to me. How much everyone loved him. How much...Iloved him. That realization didn't come as a surprise to me. I knew I'd eventually fall for Kai, how could I not? I never met a man more sweet, respectful, and nurturing than Kai Trivinij in my entire life. He mentioned how girls would always turn him down because he wasn't the traditional masculine type of guy. I wanted to bitch slap them all for making him feel less of a man than he actually was. I wouldn't make that mistake.
I brought his face down to me and made sure he felt all my love for him in the kiss I was giving him. Kai seemed to hesitate, but only briefly, before he gave back as much as I was giving him. Before it got too heavy, I pulled back.
"I love you, Kai," I declared.
