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I thought for sure I would drown in the heat of the moment, but Kai's arms kept me afloat as he struggled to catch his breath. For the first time in days, I felt sated, relaxed, and at peace. I knew this moment of pleasure wouldn't last long, so I held it tightly for as long as I could before we had to face our reality once again.
Kai came down to give me a lazy kiss, his love and devotion for me was clear in the gentle way he held me, and in the way his mouth moved against mine. He lifted me up, holding me close to him, our mouths never breaking apart. He waded up through the water until we were back on solid ground. Kai laid me down on the grass before resting his body over mine, his hands on my face while he continued sucking and nipping on my lips. The passionate kiss already reigniting the heat in my core, eager for another round, but before I could take the initiative, Kai pulled back looking down at me with an impish grin. I gave him a little whine in protest, to which he shook his head while chuckling.
"I love you, Rosie," Kai breathed out.
I smiled up at him, running my hands up his stomach and neck before resting them on his shoulders. "I love you too. How do you say I love you in your language?"
"In Thai?"
I nodded.
"Well, the simplest way would be, Nong rák phi, or if you want to make it personal you can say, Rosie rák Kai na ka."
It took a couple of tries to get the words right, but when Kai confirmed that I got the hang of it, I pressed a soft kiss to his lips before whispering, “Rosie rák Kai na ka."
Kai's face split into the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him. His eyes getting misty with emotions.
"Kai rák Rosie na kráp. Maak maak na," Kai whispered.
That was a lot more than I love you. I wasn't sure what all he said, but I could guess from the affection I felt through our bond. I didn't want him to feel responsible for Joaquin's capture anymore. I didn't want him to feel like he was the loser of the pack. I loved him just as much as I loved Kao and Joaquin, and nothing could change that. I hoped after tonight he could start to believe that.
KAO
Useless. Completely and irrevocably useless. That was how I felt as I sat in the grass with my legs up, and my arms wrapped around them, my chin resting on my knees as I stared off at the lake. I made a complete fool of myself. How in the hell did I think I had a chance in besting Del in a fight? Now because of me, she thinks of me, Kai and Rosie incapable of protecting ourselves, and maybe she was right. Without Joaquin, we still had no chance in claiming Kingsrose back, or rescuing Grandma Sonya. Even if we had a chance, I'd shown that I was the weakest of the group. Kai may be the gentlest, but he had more strength in him than people realized. Nobody knew what I knew.
If it came down to it, Kai would unleash that monstrous side of him to protect himself and Rosie. It was what saved him the last time I failed to protect him when we were kids and in foster care. There was so much blood all over the body of our foster father and covering little Kai's mouth and hands. I remembered how frightened he looked when I found him in that state. I should've gotten to him sooner. I should've realized that he'd been lying to me about where those bruises he'd sported on multiple occasions came from. I should've seen our foster father for the cruel, abusive man he truly was, and how easy of a target Kai must've been. Why had I been so stupid back then? Clearly the stupidity hadn't vacated from within me years later. I was still as ignorant, impulsive, and reckless as I'd always been.
No wonder everyone in the pack thought so little of me. I knew what they all liked to say about me when they thought I wasn't listening or paying attention. Everyone thought I was some immature playboy who never took life seriously, or who didn't care about anything but myself. That was furthest from the truth. Sure, I slept around, but since when was that ever a crime? Since when did that tied to my maturity or my compassion for others? It wasn't as if I ever led anyone on. I never made promises of commitment or made it out to be anything but a fuck. Most of the time I wasn't the one who initiated it. Did that make a difference, no. Did anybody bother to ask me about it? Did anybody ask why I slept around, or how I felt? No, because nobody cared.
Nobody except Rosie.
Rosie was the first woman to ever see me behind the playboy persona I hid behind. She saw me in one of my weakest states—when Kai was unconscious—and comforted me. She knew I slept around and didn't care; she still picked me as one of her chosen mates. She chose me to share the Wolf Moon's gift with her, an honor I felt I didn't deserve. What the hell could I contribute to this war for Mother Moon's power? What could I do to help protect Rosie? I couldn't even protect Kai; not from our foster dad, not from Alpha Pierce, not from anything.
"What good am I?" I whispered to myself.
"So, this is where you've been hiding," I heard someone say from somewhere behind me.
My body stiffened, and I turned to see who it was, my fingers elongating to claws in case it was an enemy. A lean male with long red hair and glasses approached me. When I recognized him as being one of Del's mates, I relaxed my posture and receded my claws. "Hey. It's Raph, right?" I asked, unsure if I remembered his name or not.
He nodded. "You got it. Mind if I sit with you?"
I actuallydidmind, but something told me he'd do it even if I said no, so I gestured to the spot next to me. "Be my guest."
Raph sat beside me, staring at the slow ebbs of the water in front of us. We sat there in peaceful silence for two minutes before he asked, "Are you okay?"
I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you got your ass beat by a human."
I scoffed. "Yeah, I got it. It was wrong of me to assume I had the edge just because she's human. Are you here to berate me on your mate's behalf or something? If you are, you can get lost. I have enough on my plate as it is."
"On the contrary. Del doesn't need me to defend her honor. As you saw plainly, she can take care of herself. I'm here to see how you're holding up," Raph said.
"Did Rosie send you?"
Raph snorted out a laugh. "No, Rosie's too busy with your twin to ask me to do anything. I'm here on my own."
I already knew Rosie and Kai were having sex, I could feel it through my twin connection with Kai. I'm glad that they were finding solace in each other. Both were frustrated with Joaquin and blaming themselves for his capture. I could reassure them both for the next century and it wouldn't have made a difference. At least now they were able to give each other a moment of bliss, a chance to forget everything else and live for the here and now. Admittedly, there was a part of me that was feeling left out, but that was something else I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I was the one avoiding both Rosie and Kai all day while I continued pounding my self-esteem to the ground.
