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I took a sip of my tea when the door to the cabin and opened, followed by the sound of Rowan's voice gruff with sleep. "You're up early, milady."
When I turned to face him, my cup almost slipped from my fingers. Rowan had on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black muscle shirt that looked too small for his heavily toned body. Even with it on, I could see the tuffs of grey and black hairs that seemed to cover his whole front. His hair was sticking out in all directions and his eyes were hooded, as if struggling to open them all the way.How in the world a man could look sexy as hell like that, was beyond me.
I cleared my throat and tried looking everywhere else but at the older man. "Yeah, I had trouble sleeping so I thought I might as well get up."
"Is something on your mind?"
I snorted. "Considering everything I've been through since first discovering the Wolf Moon's gift, I'd be amazed if nothing was on my mind."
"Understandable. Mother Moon has given you a heavy burden to bear, and it's not easy to grasp how much power you've been gifted with," Rowan said, coming to stand next to me.
"Tell me about it," I grumbled. "Of all the things I want to know, the one question that still nips in the back of my mind is, why me? Why was I chosen?"
"I think every Moon Chosen, whether in your generation or in one of the previous ones, wants to know that for themself. Why were they chosen? What was so special about them? My own mate wondered about that for years." Rowan shook his head, his eyes distant even though he was facing the sunrise. "She never did find the answer, but all she knew was that Mother Moon trusted her to protect the gift that was given to her. That was all that mattered, that and her mates and pack."
"She sounds amazing," I said, wishing I had met her before her untimely end. I would've loved to have known about her experience, and what she did to overcome to obstacles that faced her. What she did to fight off against the New Moon's Curse. "Can I ask you something? What was her name?"
"Marissa," Rowan whispered the name like a secret.
"You miss her, don't you?"
"Every day of my life, milady. She was the center of my world from the first day we met. She was the air in my lungs, the beat of my heart, and my will to fight. When she and my brothers perished, I could feel my heart shattering. My insides hurt so much; I couldn't breathe. What kept me going was knowing that Marissa would've wanted me to keep living for her. I was spared for a reason, even if I didn't know what that reason was. The only thing that made sense for me was making sure the Moon Dial was protected."
"And that's why you chose to keep guarding it."
"That's right. I didn't have much else to live for. Marissa and I never had kids, neither did she with her other mates, so I was alone. I thought this would give me something to live for."
Hearing a little bit of his background had me wanting to reach out to him. This man spent years alone with his only purpose being to protect the Moon Dial. No family, friends, or a lover. I couldn't imagine what it must've felt like to lose everyone, but if Atropos' vision came true, I'd be living his past in my future. Atropos showed me a future where everybody I loved would die. I remembered the pain I felt at thinking it already happened, staring at the rows of corpses, all of whom I knew personally. The stabbing pain in my heart when I believed they were all gone. Was that how Rowan felt when he lost everyone? Despite the heartache he felt, he still found the will to keep living. Maybe guarding the Moon Dial gave him a purpose, and he clung to it with an iron-like grip. But he couldn't have been happy with a life like that, could he? Doesn't he feel lonely hibernating in a cabin secluded in the middle of nowhere?
"I'm so sorry about your mate," I said softly. "I wish there was more that I could say, but there really is nothing else that can be said about it." When I rested my hand over his mountain size bicep, Rowan's body stiffened at the touch. Thinking he didn't like the gesture I started pulling away, but Rowan stopped me by resting his hand over mine. My breath hitched at the sudden movement, but I didn't move. His thumb began running along the side of my palm, which sent electric tingles that ran up my arm and down to my core. “For what it's worth, I'm grateful that you're still alive. If it wasn't for you, I don't know if we'd be able to survive that ambush. Thank you for saving our lives."
Rowan's gaze fell on me, slightly darkening with something I couldn't recognize. I felt the need to move in closer, to lean against him and wrap myself around his heated body like a blanket. "Thank you, milady," he said in a low rumble that had my toes curling.
Fuck, what the hell was wrong with me?
"Please, call me Rosie," I said meekly.
The right side of his lips curved up as he said, "Okay, Rosie."
Damn, I loved how my name sounded coming from his lips, which told me that I was in deep shit. Seriously, I was melting at a new man when two of my mates were still MIA. How terrible could I be?
The rustling sound of movement came from mine and Kao's tent, and I looked to see the man in question crawling out of the entryway, looking half asleep still. Kao yawned, scratching the back of his head as he looked around, ostensibly confused about his whereabouts until his back straightened as it all came clear to him. He then turned to the cabin where Rowan and I stood huddled together. I backed away like he bit me, clearing my throat and tried to act as if I wasn't wanting to climb the sexy silver fox like a tree. I half expected to see Rowan looking offended by my sudden breakaway, but he was as stoic as before, unphased by anything.
That makes one of us.
"Morning," Kao said in a muffled sleepy voice.
"Morning," I quickly answered.
"Good morning," Rowan added, then patted my back. "I'll go make breakfast for everyone."
Now that Rowan was back inside, I found it easier to breathe, though I still felt embarrassed for how I was acting. Kao took the steps needed to reach me, pulling me to him and pressing his lips to mine in a gentle kiss that had the butterflies in my stomach fluttering. We've been together since running from Kingsrose, but it occurred to me that we haven't had much time to be by ourselves. A part of me wondered if he was still feeling bitter about that fight with Del. Ever since he lost, he's kept himself at a distance unless we were on the road. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
"How are you holding up?" Kao asked me.
"I'll survive, but I could ask the same about you. Are you okay, Kao?"
Kao's eyes fell to the ground. "I'm worried about Kai, but other than that, I'm okay, I guess."
