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"He's not still alive, is he?" I found myself asking, to which Kai responded no.
"I take it his wife didn't know?" Byron asked.
Kao snorted in disgust. "Oh, she knew, but she didn't care. So long as she got to keep spending his money, she was fine with whatever."
"I'm guessing Wayne's the reason why you prayed to the Blood Moon," Rowan stated matter-of-factly.
Kai sank into his seat, his scent reeking with shame and regret. "Yes. I tried going to the police but they never did anything about it. Wayne most likely bought them off. Nobody else believed me, so I was scared and alone. I... I just wanted the pain to stop."
Kai's body visibly shook as his hands clenched into fists on his lap. He kept his gaze firmly planted on the ground, but I could still see tears dripping down. I felt my own eyes burning from the story. My instincts were telling me to go to him, to hold him and never let him go.
I wish I had a way to turn back time, so I could've been there to shield him from the cruelty of his foster dad. I may not have known what it was like to have been abused, but I'd seen my own brother face the cruelty of our adopted father. How it nearly broke him and turned him into a different man. I felt powerless watching Javier endure the hardships that came with training to become the next alpha of the Blue Moon Pack, as powerless as Kao felt watching his brother take all the beatings with no way of stopping it from happening.
Kai sniffled, then angrily wiped the tears from his eyes. "It was a Blood Moon that night. I didn't know much about wolf shifters and the moon, so I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't realize that praying for strength—for a way to end the pain—would curse me. I felt something stirring in me when I looked up at the Blood Moon. I was angry at Wayne, yes, but that anger kept growing. My whole body felt hot thinking about how I wish I was strong enough to fight back. Next thing I knew, I blacked out only to regain conscious coated in blood. In Wayne and Bianca's blood, and Kao looking at me with so much fear. That was when I realized... I killed them. Both of them."
"We didn't know what to do," Kao added, also feeling emotional. "We were kids, and we were scared. Explaining that Kai turned into a feral wolf wouldn't have gone over so well, obviously. We decided to take our chances and run. We took what money they had and ran. From what we heard, police ruled that they were killed by a wild animal, and since our bodies were never found, the beast dragged us away and ate us. We laid low for a while, spent most of our nights in wolf form. Three months later, we found a wolf pack to join for most of our teenage years."
"When did you guys make it to Kingsrose?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.
Joaquin cleared his throat before speaking up. "They joined us about four years ago. Kao eagerly wanted to rank up to beta, but Kai insisted that he wanted to spend his days among the humans. Pierce thought of him as dead weight anyways, so he obliged."
I gaped at him, offended on my mate’s behalf. Why was everyone so quick to see him as weak. His foster parents. Pierce. Now I understood why he felt the need to prove himself today. Both twins were determined to prove themselves as strong. Stronger than what people gave them credit for. "Kai is not dead weight. He's been a viable mate and protector. Both of them have been."
"Easy, babe," Joaquin held up his hands in surrender. "You don't have to tell me that. I've always been supportive of them both from the beginning. I've seen others not giving Kai, mostly, a chance to prove himself, but I believed he had potential."
At least someone did. I could tell Joaquin cared for them both, especially Kai. He even risked his life to save him. Now that we'd gone full circle, and I finally knew of the twins' history, I now had a better understanding of the turmoil they went through, and the demons that still haunted them now. For Kai, it was a literal demon. Sort of. I couldn't begin to comprehend what all they went through since running away. They were kids and were already having to fend for themselves. Because of a fucking prayer, Kai unknowingly turned himself into something powerful and threatening. Something that he still couldn't control now.
That red haze that surrounded him, that had to have been the Berserker Wolf suffocating his mind while it tried to go on a rampage physically. If I hadn't been there to stop him, to snap him out of it, what would've happened? How would he have gotten back to himself? Most of all, why couldn't my poor, sweet mate catch a break? Why did he have to continue to suffer when all he wanted to do was not hurt anymore? Instead of taking the pain away from him, his Berserker Wolf took pleasure in inflicting pain to others.
"Please say something," Kai whispered so softly that I almost didn't hear it.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realized that I went silent. His emotions were all over the place, but the one that came out crystal clear was fear. I dropped to the floor in front of him, taking both his shaking hands in mine and brought them to my lips. When he looked up with a pain-stricken look, his eyes red rimmed and filled with tears, it caused my own tears to break free. There was so much pain in the way he looked at me. It nearly choked me to see it. But I managed to pull the words from my lips.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Kai's bottom lip quivered. "I was afraid you'd look at me differently if you knew. That you would see me as a monster. That you would think it was a mistake picking me for a mate. I didn't ask to be this way, Rosie. I didn't ask to become a Berserker Wolf, and more than anything, I hate that it could one day hurt you if I lose control. But what I hope more is the thought of losing you because of it. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Rosie. So please... please don't regret having me for a mate."
I couldn't take it anymore. With every plea, he broke my will to keep it together. I pulled Kai forward and wrapped him in my arms. Kai visibly shook as he broke down, sobbing into my shoulder and apologizing repeatedly. I rubbed circles along his back, assuring him that I was here. That I wasn't going anywhere. I hated that he thought I would abandon him for what happened. He was right, he didn't choose to be this way. He didn't want to be a berserker, but he was one anyway. That didn't waver my feelings for him. I still loved him with every fiber of my being. Just as I loved Kao and Joaquin. I would never abandon them. I would never give up on them.
Kao joined in the embrace, wrapping his arms around both me and Kai, mouthing an apology to me. I was still upset that they kept this from me, but I understood why. I couldn't fault them for that. I caught movement from the opposite side of me. I turned to see Joaquin joining us, regarding me with a soft smile that I hadn't seen in a while. He pressed a kiss at the top of my head and embraced us as best as he could. I had my three mates with me, all healthy and alive. There were also two guys whom I felt connected to but wasn't sure who was meant to be my fourth. That was also something we needed to address soon. But how was I expected to choose between them?
9
ROSIE
"I was wondering where you disappeared to," Javier's voice sounded from behind me. I was out on the patio with a second cup of coffee in hand, staring off into the colorful field of roses decorated in rows across the field. I didn't get the chance to appreciate it last time I was here, since I was mostly trying to avoid Pierce. Now the place was mine to protect. Javier leaned against the wooden rails beside me, huffing out a deep breath. "Rough day, huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "You said it."
"How is everybody?"
"Good, I guess." I shrugged. "About as good as we can get around here."
"And what about you?" Javier stared intently. "Are you okay?"
I looked down at my coffee, as if the artificially sweetened drink held the answers to all of life's problems. Was I okay? Ave Madre Luna, where did I even start to dissect that question. "I just became Alpha to a pack without any sort of training on how to be one. One mate was in a coma for days after nearly dying from silver and wolfsbane. Another mate is a berserker who could harm innocent people if he loses control. I have to prepare for when my fated mate and his army of rogues decide to show up and try to kill everyone in sight just to get to me. And on top of that, I'm one mate short, but with two potential candidates who could fill that role and no idea how to choose. Do I sound okay to you?" I looked at him with a raised brow.
Javier whistled in response. "Yeah, that's a lot to deal with. But somehow you're managing to keep it all together."
