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“Please,” I whimpered, resting my head against the door. “Not again.”
I jolted awake, sitting straight up in bed. The room was dark, except for the sliver of light shining through the door from the window in the living room. I looked beside me, and Chase was fast asleep. I covered my face with my hands, trying to catch my breath. My cheeks felt wet from crying.
“It was just a dream,” I quietly reminded myself. After a few minutes of deep breathing, my heart rate finally came down. I curled myself around Chase’s broad back, hooking my arm around his stomach.
Feeling me touch him, he turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked sleepily.
I buried my face in his chest. “Nothing. I just want you to hold me.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and we intertwined our legs. His warm body enveloped me, as I listened to his steady heartbeat. I tried to fall back to sleep; I tried to think of anything but the nightmare. The minutes passed, turning into hours, and I could not shake the short scene from my mind. I watched the sun come up, and finally fell back to sleep just in time for Chase’s alarm to sound. He showered, and kissed me goodbye before he left for a meeting with at the record label.
I tried to occupy myself by reading and watching movies. When I looked at the clock and realized it was only noon, I decided to take a walk outside, wandering up and down the nearby streets to get familiarized with the area. Being alone in a new city was more of a culture shock than I had prepared for. I knew it would be different, and I expected to miss my friends, but I found myself missing small things: the yappy dog next door to the Brooks’ house; Brody’s pancakes in the morning; the sound of car horns beeping aggressively; and how I craved the taste of New York pizza.
Towards the end of any vacation growing up, I always felt ready to go home, missing my own bed and familiar surroundings. Being in California was like being on a permanent vacation, unable to land back in my own life of comfort. To add insult to injury, I was anticipating when the next earthquake would be. Since I had felt the tremor, any small vibration, including my phone, tricked me into thinking that it was happening again. The nightmare I had only made me more on edge.
I walked until it was time to get ready for training at the bar with Dave. I was relieved to have something to do, and I was even more relieved knowing alcohol would be involved.
“Dude!” Dave exclaimed when I walked in that night. “You’re a genius!”
“I take it your text to Colorado went well?”
He grabbed me by my shoulders. “We talked all day! Well, we texted, but… same thing.”
“What was his response?”
“Here.” He took out his phone and handed it to me. “I can’t believe I never thought of it before,” Dave continued. “I just wish he would have told me how much having kids meant to him.”
I scrolled to the end of the text thread. “You broke up?” I shouted. “That’s it?”
“I know in my heart that I don’t want kids. He knows in his heart that he wants kids. There’s no point to stay together if we both want different things in life.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“When I didn’t know why he was breaking up with me, it was torture. Now, we’ve talked and we have closure.” He looked at me over the top of his black rimmed glasses. “Do you and Chase ever talk about your future?”
I shook my head. “We’re flying by the seat of our pants right now.” After the amazing night Chase and I had, an unsettling feeling had made a home inside of my stomach. I told myself it was due to the nightmare, and tried to forget about it.
I spent the next hour training in my crash course behind the bar to prepare for tonight’s shift. For the most part, everything was relatively easy; I learned the computer in less than five minutes, and learned where everything was located within ten. I needed more time to study the names and recipes of drinks – the ones that I had never heard of made me especially nervous. Luckily, Dave would be by my side to help. It would be fun working with him, and I was thankful to feel like I had made a real friend.
“Can I get a Corona,” a customer asked.
I flipped the cap off into the garbage, and slid the bottle to him.
“Can I start a tab?” the man asked.
“Sure.” I looked to Dave. “Just watch me to make sure I’m doing this right.”
Dave stood over my shoulder while I tapped the information on the computer screen.
“You’re a quick learner.” He handed the receipt to me after it printed out, and I shoved it into a glass on the bar.
I stifled a yawn.
“Oh, no. You can’t be doing any of that. We just started our shift!”
“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
He stared off into the distance. “I miss having hot Valentine’s Day sex. I need a new boyfriend.”
